6 Things I've Learned in 6 Days of My 10 Day Break From Facebook

1.  Weekends (Life in General too) are more fun and relaxing without being on Facebook.

2.  Getting together with a Friend face to face is so much more rewarding than sitting in front of my laptop on Facebook for hours on end, especially for this extrovert.

3.  I don't want to give up on Facebook completely.  It is a good way to keep in touch with the happenings in the lives of my Family and Friends.  A Friend's Mom passed away and thankfully I heard about it a few days later from another Friend.  I would have known sooner had I not been on my Facebook break.

4.  For Years I wanted to be Married.  Now that I'm Married, why have I been spending so much time on FB, on my Laptop, in another room, while my Husband was in the Living Room Watching TV? This makes no sense.   We've spent more quality time together over the past 6 days.

5.  Not everything I say or do needs to be documented on Facebook.  Somehow my followers will survive without reading that I gained .6 lbs last Saturday at weigh in.  :-)

6.  Life is short and should be lived to the fullest, not spent staring at a screen waiting for someone to like my status update.

We Have Been Married For 500 Days Today!

J & J - 7/8/2011 - Clearwater Beach, FL

 

Those of you who know me, know that I am a numbers girl!  I love dates and numbers!  Well, today we have been married for 500 days!  In my opinion, that is blog worthy for sure! :)  I also find it interesting that our first date was 1,137 days ago.  We have almost been married for half of the time we have been together! 

 

Looking back, we realize that our 1st year of marriage was a breeze!  We are thankful that we could just be Newlyweds for a year and not have any other major life events happen during that year of adjustment.  Marriage is an adjustment (especially for those of us who have been single well into our 30's.), but it is a happy adjustment.  Change is hard, but good change is MUCH easier than the changes the past few months have brought us.

 

We are learning more now about some of the "worse" parts of our "for better or worse" vows.  Life has been anything BUT easy for us the past 2 months.  The things we are dealing with, most people wouldn't expect to have to deal with until well into their 40's, 50's and even 60's.  Jonathan's Dad is only 67, but he has had Stage IV lung cancer for 2 years and 3 months.  He also has COPD.  My Mom is only 60, but has been battling cancer for almost 13 years now.  Emotionally, that's a lot for us to handle in and of itself.  But it's not just dealing with the emotional part of it.  We had to put Jonathan's Dad in a nursing home and Jonathan is now the Power of Attorney for his Dad.  We are his only weekly/twice a week visitors and the nursing home is 30 minutes away from us.  We both work full time outside the home.  We may not have children, but we (especially Jonathan) do have a LOT of responsibility!  Jonathan has learned A LOT (more than he ever thought he would have to know at age 37) about Medicaid, Medicare, Nursing Homes, Cemeteries, Funeral Insurance, FMLA, etc, the past few months. 

 

This has been a very stressful time for us.  We have been flying by the seat of our pants. Uncertainty is hard to deal with.  While we don't know what the future holds, we do know that God has been with us every step of the way, and will continue to give us His strength.  He saw to it that Keith was approved for Medicaid the FIRST time, and for that we are very thankful!  Jonathan has said he wants to use the knowledge he has gained to help friends when/if they have to go thru this stuff with their aging parents.

 

Jonathan and I are extremely grateful that we have each other during this dreary time in our lives.  I think overall we are doing as well as we can be doing given the circumstances.  Things have settled down a little bit now that Keith has been approved for Medicaid.  We are looking forward to 3 nights away for my Birthday after the New Year!

 

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that Keith has accepted Jesus.  I'm also thankful that Jonathan is my Husband and that we are a team...for better or for worse.  I'm thankful that we are blessed to spend another Thanksgiving with my Mom and with Jonathan's Dad.  Life is short, but life is precious.  We are learning to live in the moment.  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. 

 

We know this too shall pass, but for now, we cling to Jesus and to each other.

 

Our Marriage verse was "God sets the lonely in families".  We may feel weary and overwhelmed, but we are not lonely. 

 

Thank you Lord for my 500th day of being married to the love of my life.  I waited and waited, but you were faithful, as always!

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  Savor every minute you are blessed to have with your loved ones this Holiday Season! :)

 

Love,

 

 

 

J-La-Sta

 

Happy 13th Birthday In Heaven Dad!

November 3rd, 1940 Herbert William Latzke, who would later be my Dad, was born in Eagle River, WI.  Yep, he would have been 72 years old today!  He spent 59 years on this earth and passed away on December 8th, 1999.  So much has changed since then, in the world, and in our family.

 

 

THEN:

November 3rd, 1999 (Dad's 59th Birthday):

• I was 25 years old. 

• I was living in Cudahy, WI.

• I called you to wish you a Happy Birthday.

• I was working 2nd shift and overnights, with at-risk teens, at Calvary Academy in South Milwaukee, WI.

• I was single and thought I'd never get married.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's only Grandchild at the time) was 5 years old

• Bill Clinton was President of the United States.

• We couldn't have comprehended that less than 2 years later, 9-11 would terrorize our Nation.

• Mom was cancer free.

NOW:

November 3rd, 2012 (Dad's 13th Birthday in Heaven):

• I am 38 years old (yet somehow I haven't aged one bit!) 

• I have been living back in South Bend, IN for 5.5 years (Yes, I know I said I'd NEVER move back to South Bend! I am older and wiser and have learned to never say never!)

• I can't call you to wish you a Happy Birthday, but I will be thinking of you all day.

• I have been working at an Insurance Company for 4.5 years.

• I have been married to an Amazing man named Jonathan for 16 months.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's 1st Grandson) is now 18 years old!  There are now 4 more Grandchildren that Dad never got the chance to meet.  No, I did not have quadruplets! LOL :)  Lexi will be 10 tomorrow,  Hannah is 8, Tyler is 6 and Myles just turned 3. 

• Barack Obama is President of the United States.  The Presidential election is in 3 days and I cannot wait for it to be over!

• We are living in a post 9-11 world, and the world seems to be getting more and more violent.

• Mom has been battling cancer since 2 months after you passed away (February, 2000)

Life has changed since you went home to heaven Dad, in wonderful ways, and in some not so wonderful ways.  But one thing that won't change, is that I will always love you and miss you!

 

 

Happy 72nd Birthday Dad!  See you soon!

 

 

Love,

 

 

 

Jen Jen

 

 



The Day We Were Called To Step Up

 

     Life is full of changes.  I'm getting better with change, but I still don't like it, and I still have a hard time with it.  Change is even harder for me during the fall/winter months, as Seasonal Affective Disorder does affect me, no matter how many steps I take to prevent it and make it better.  We have been married for 15 months, and our first major life change as a married couple, began on September 26th, 2012, just 18 days ago.

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
Arnold Bennett

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
Alan Watts

"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance."
Nathaniel Branden

  My Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2000 (2 months after my Dad, her Husband, passed away).  She has been battling this disease for almost 13 years.  She continues to work full time on her feet while receiving daily treatments.  My Mom turned 60 this Summer.  I'm thankful she has her Husband Don of 11 years, to care for her.  Jonathan's Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer August of 2010, but we weren't made aware of it until March of 2011.  Jonathan's Dad turned 67 this Summer.  I hate cancer.  It sucks!  Even more, I hate that the fact that the word cancer doesn't really phase me anymore because I've heard it SO much over the years in regards to family and friends. 

The newly married couple with my Mom 7/8/2011

Jonathan & his Dad Father's Day 2012

Me & my FIL Father's Day 2012

   Jonathan's Dad was hospitalized for approx 6 days before Father's Day of this year.  He was hospitalized again for approx 8 days in August.  We didn't find out until that time, that when he was first diagnosed, he already had stage 4 cancer.  When he left the hospital in August, he went to live with his daughter in Elkhart.  On September 26th, 2012, Jonathan got a call from a nurse at Elkhart General Hospital asking him to call her back in regards to his Dad.  We were of course concerned about Keith, but it also struck us as odd that Jonathan got the call, since Jonathan's Sister who lives in Elkhart was the contact person for the hospital.  To make a long (and extremely sad and complicated) story short, Jonathan's Dad's living situation suddenly changed.  We had no clue!  From the moment we arrived at the hospital that Wednesday evening, we knew we would need to step up to the plate and be there for Keith.  He had been living in his house for a week with no utilities.  He had lost 30 lbs since we saw him last. He needed us more now than ever.  We are the only 2 people he has who live in the area.  From that day forward, Jonathan became the contact person for the hospital. 

     During Keith's hospital stay, Jonathan worked with the Social Worker to determine where Keith would go after he was released.  Jonathan has learned so much about the ins and outs of Medicare and Medicaid.  Fun stuff!  NOT!  Keith was hospitalized for 9 days.  During his hospital stay Jonathan and I searched his truck and house for necessary paperwork to get him applied for medicaid.  It was then that we became aware of the horrendous conditions he had been living in the past week.  We were determined to never ever ever let him live there again, even if he needed to come live with us.  We had planned to go away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend of Oct 5th/6th, but cancelled the Tuesday before.  We knew we needed to be there for Keith. 

     Monday, October 1st, Jonathan stayed home because he caught the cold I had.  I decided that instead of going to Bible class at church, that I would go to visit Keith, because he needed me.  I am SO thankful God lead me to make the right choice. I didn't know until I got to his room that evening, that he had almost passed away overnight.  Keith told me that evening that he "asked Jesus to accept him today" and said "I hope He can forgive me!".  I told him that "He already has".  I also asked if I could pray with him before I left.  Wow!  I will never forget that evening as long as I live!  It was very special!  God certainly put me in the right place at the right time! :)

     It's been an emotional and exhausting 18 days for us.  Jonathan has been using most of his breaks/lunches at work to take care of getting his Dad applied for medicaid, getting him into a nursing home, etc.  The hospital released Keith on Friday, October 5th, 2012.  They transported him to a nursing home.  He is not well enough to live anywhere else.  We are both SO thankful to Jonathan's Sister Sandy and her family who were in town when he was transferred to the nursing home, and helped him get settled, and made sure he got the things he needed from the store.  It made us be able to focus better at work, knowing Keith had them to help him with this transition.  We are convinced Keith was well enough to leave the hospital because Sandy, Joel, and their 3 boys came to town to see him.  He needed to go to the Nursing Home. We both work full time and would not be able to be here to give him the 24 hour care he needs.  After coordinating it and finding wonderful people who were willing to help Notarize and Witness for us, Jonathan's Dad made him his Power Of Attorney on Wednesday.  This is a huge responsibility!  But one that my Husband knew he had to take on.  I am so proud of him for taking on this responsibility.  God truly has called us to serve Keith. 

     I found the following information on this website in regards to what being a POA entails: http://www.sbshlaw.com.

"It is always a good idea to discuss your expectations and wishes with whomever you plan to name in this important document, before you sign it. First of all, that person is going to have a lot of responsibility in the event of your incapacity. They may be responsible to write your checks, pay your bills, balance your accounts, manage your investments and file your tax returns among other things. It’s not so much an honor to be named in a durable power of attorney document as it is an immense responsibility."

     Yes, we both had full time jobs, and we both have our apartment to keep up, but we don't have a house, we don't have kids, we were planning on going to Hawaii in February, but we didn't have any HUGE responsibilities.  Our life has changed.  That is ok.  We will have the rest of our lives (God willing) to travel, etc.  But the important thing is that we are here for our parents when they need us.  Now is one of those times.  Keith needs us more than anyone right now.  He is adjusting to the nursing home.  We live in South Bend, and it is a good 35 minute drive for us to get to the nursing home.  Our goal is to go 2-3 times a week to visit him.  We want him to know that he is not alone.

We haven't really had much time to focus on each other, but we realize this needs to be a priority in our lives.  If we don't take care of ourselves and spend time together, we won't be any good for Keith.  I found the following information on this website:  http://life.familyeducation.com:

 

"Praise your spouse often when he or she is dealing with an aging parent. Let him or her know how difficult it is and how well he or she is managing things. Your praise will go a long way when your spouse is handling such an emotional issue. It's especially important to keep your relationship with each other strong. You might be feeling overwhelmed by time and energy commitments to a parent, but don't forget each other. Keep doing nice things for each other, treating each other nicely, and spending time together. Even if you cannot spend as much time together as you used to, make every effort to spend at least a reasonable amount of regular time together. You will best be able to support each other if you continue investing in the relationship."
 

     We want to put God first, our relationship second, Keith 3rd, but we also have jobs that we need to keep! :)  Yes, we won't be able to spend as much time together as we did before, but we are choosing to make it a priority in regards to our "New Normal".  Jonathan and I are incredibly blessed to have each other for help, support and encouragement during this difficult and challenging time.


     Keith asked Jonathan the other day if he could read the Bible with him.  That, my friends, makes all of this crap worth while! :)  We don't know how many days Keith has left on this earth, but we are convinced that God called us to serve Keith in this capacity right now.  I have to remember that God is in control of Keith's life, here and in heaven, and that I can do my best, but need to let go and let God. 

Please keep us all in your prayers, especially Keith!  Please pray that we will remain strong and will serve Keith in the way that God has called us to serve him.  Thank you!  :)

"God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."  James 1:12

Our Entry For Stafford's Hospitality Memory Contest!

Dear Stafford's Hospitality,

     Wow! Where do I begin? We stayed at Stafford's Bay View Inn from Sunday, July 8th, 2012 through Thursday, July 12th, 2012. We purchased the Summer Memories Package which was a GREAT deal!

     This was the most romantic, relaxing and peaceful vacation we have EVER had!!! We both agreed it was better than our Honeymoon, which was in Clearwater Beach, FL. July 8th was our 1 Year Wedding Anniversary and July 10th was my Husband's Birthday. We were so blessed to be able to stay in Astor Suite #7 for our celebration. Astor Suite #7 truly is THE BEST room at the Inn! It was incredible! We had our own deck with an amazing view of Little Traverse Bay, a private sitting area with a Fireplace, a beautiful and comfortable King Canopy Bed and last but not least, a 2 person Whirlpool Tub. 

     We both waited a very long time to find each other! When we got married I was 37 years old, and Jonathan turned 36 two days after the wedding. We had both been single, never married, with no kids. We don't believe in luck, and know it was meant to be. We thank God everyday for giving us His best in His perfect timing. Given how blessed we feel to have found each other, we wanted our 1 Year Anniversary trip to be very special. When we chose Stafford's Bay View Inn, we had no idea just how special our trip would be. We both had never been there, but we found it on the internet and made our decision after viewing the website and calling the Inn. It far surpassed all of our expectations! We felt like royalty! Room 7 was AMAZING and every single staff member was very friendly and willing to help take pictures for us, answer questions and asking if there was anything they could do to make our stay more enjoyable. We loved getting away from it all and not having a TV or phone in the room. It made the trip all about us, free from the distractions of the media and daily life.

     We had our Anniversary dinner on July 8th at Stafford's Perry Hotel. We loved the atmosphere of the Restaurant! The food was excellent, and the service was just as stellar as at the Bay View Inn. Our server went above and beyond what we expected to make sure our anniversary dinner was a night to remember. I've attached a picture of us with our delicious dinners.

     My Husband's favorite memory of our trip was the afternoon and evening of the 9th. We had a before dinner drink at the Bay View in the sunroom, followed by dinner at the Restaurant. He loved the ambiance set by the music, and the beautiful sunlight pouring into the sunroom accentuating the decor. It was so romantic! I've attached a picture of us experiencing that day. After dinner we looked for Petoskey stones across the road at the beach and watched the sunset. I've also attached a picture of us in front of Little Traverse Bay. We met a lady there who also got married on July 8th, 40 years ago!

     Who needs Florida in July when we have Stafford's Bay View Inn on beautiful and scenic Traverse Bay? I had never been to Northern Michigan and had no idea how blue the water was up there, and how the beautiful sunsets add to the romance! We have decided that we want to celebrate every Anniversary at Stafford's Bay View Inn Astor Suite #7, and we cannot thank your staff enough for making our 1 Year Anniversary vacation so special!

     We look forward to our second visit (along with more delicious cookies) next July! :-)

Blessings,

Jennifer and Jonathan Stanley

South Bend, Indiana

J-La-Sta's 3rd Thankful Thursday!

Here are the people/things I am thankful for today:

I'm Thankful That My Friend Mary Moved Back To Michiana.  Mary and I have been friends for over 5 years.  We first met each other at a Church group on June 4th, 2007.  I had just moved back to South Bend from Milwaukee on May 1st of that year.  Mary was my first friend I made in the area after moving back.  We have been there for each other thru some pretty tough times, and we have been there for each other thru some pretty awesome times as well!  Mary got married in August of 2009 and moved to a suburb of Indy, about 3 hours away from here.  A few weeks ago Mary, her husband and sweet baby girl moved back to the area.  I am so happy to have her close again!  I often call her "daughter" and she often calls me "mom", you can read about that and see a picture of us here. 


I'm Thankful That I Am Almost Done Writing Thank You Notes.  I am so thankful for how much people blessed us at our Wedding (7/8/11)/Wedding Open House (8/20/11) and gifts that were sent between and after those events!  I have been wanting to write thank you notes, but have been putting it off because the task seemed overwhelming.  Yes, I procrastinate when things seem overwhelming to me.  Well, I am determined to get them done before we leave on our vacation!  I have 16 more to write! :)  My hand and my shoulders (heavy weight) will be thankful when I am finished as well! :)


I'm Thankful That I Have 1 More Day of Work Before Our Vacation.  We are so excited to head to Northern Michigan to celebrate our 1 year Anniversary!  We haven't had a full week off of work since our honeymoon.  We are very much looking forward to it!  As of 7:15pm Eastern Time on Friday, July 6th, I will officially be ...wait for it...

Last But Not Least, I Am Thankful For An Amazing First Year of Marriage With My Mr. Right.  I was single for the 1st 37.5 years of my life.  Now that I've been married to Jonathan for a year (July 8th), I completely realize that I wouldn't change a thing about my many years of singleness!  He was worth the wait and God knew EXACTLY what He was doing! :)  I love you Jonathan and I look forward to many more wonderful years together! :)

This pic was taken on our honeymoon in Clearwater Beach, FL

After Years of Searching, I Found My Home!

All 3 Pics were taken by my SIL Sandy of Sandra Ellen Photography in Grand Rapids!

My Moves During College (6 times if I'm counting correctly):
August 1992 - Moved from South Bend, IN to College in Milwaukee, WI - Lived in dorm.
May 1993 - Moved back to South Bend, IN for the Summer
August 1993 - Moved back to College in Milwaukee, WI - Lived in dorm.
May 1994 - Moved from dorm to an apartment on campus for the summer.
August 1994 - Moved from summer apartment to another apartment on campus for the school year.
May 1995 - Moved to another apartment on campus for the summer and following school year.

My Moves Since College (Yep, 15 times in 15 years)
May 1996 - Graduated College - Moved to an off campus apartment in Milwaukee, WI with a friend.
August 1997 - Moved to Greenfield WI to my own apartment when roomie got married.
May 1998 - Moved to South Milwaukee, WI where I lived where I worked.
September 1998 - Moved to Cudahy, WI where I had my own apartment again.
July 2001 - Moved to Denver (Aurora), Colorado for a job and lived where I worked.
February 2002 - Moved back to WI and lived in Oak Creek, WI with a family who are friends of mine
November 2002 - Moved into my own apartment in Milwaukee, WI.
March 2004 - Moved into another apartment in West Milwaukee, WI, which was right across the street from where I worked at the time.
October 2006 - Moved to West Allis, WI by New Berlin, WI border.
May 2007 - Relocated back to my hometown of South Bend IN and lived with my Grandma in Granger, IN.
September 2007 - Moved to Autumn Lakes Apartments in Mishawaka, IN with a friend.
March 2008 - Moved into a house with 2-3 other women in Mishawaka, IN and rented a room.
June 2009 - Moved into a Condo in Mishawaka, IN that I shared with the Owner.
July 2010 - Finally got back on my feet and moved into my own Apartment at Irish Hills Apartments in South Bend, IN.
July 2011 - I moved from my 1 bedroom apartment into a 2 bedroom apartment with my husband, at the same apartment complex in South Bend, IN.

I HATE MOVING! 
Wouldn't you if you had moved so many times?

Moving is the third most stressful event in life, following death and divorce. (from: Employee Relocation Council).  Moving is trauma, ranked right up there with getting a divorce, losing a job or burying a loved one.

I dealt with the loss of my Dad alone and have moved SO many times by myself, that with all of that stress, God must be preparing me for something huge! :)

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”
― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

This is my favorite Engagement Pic!  Sandy is a very talented Photographer! :)

I'm so thankful that we are staying put for a few years!  The only reason we would move, is to buy a condo or a house!  It's nice to have some consistency and stability for a while! :)

All of this moving really has taught me that

"Home Is Where The Heart Is!"

We Are Content Being A Family of Two!

Yes, my Husband and I are a FAMILY of two!  We believe that our family is complete! :)

Our First Date As a Married Couple - Clearwater Beach, FL

We are not planning on having any children.  However, we also know that the Creator of life may have other plans. (In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9)  We are 100% Pro-Life, so if God chooses otherwise, we will be happy with His plan and embrace His gift of life.  That being said, my life just hasn't been the "get engaged in college, get married right after college, have kids right away" type of life that many of my friends have had.  I haven't followed the typical"/expected" path.  That hasn't been God's plan for me.  I used to not like being different,  but now I love it!  I'm Jennifer Stanley, not Suzie Homemaker. Neither do I consider myself to be a "Career Woman".  I work to live, not live to work.  Anyways, there will most likely not be a television show called "Jon & Jen Plus (Insert any number here)".  It's more like "0 Kids & Not Counting"!  I will be 39 in January, not 22.  Some days I hardly have the energy to work full time and take care of myself and be a wife, so I don't know how I would have the energy to be a Mom at this point in my life!.  I do know that God never gives us more than we can handle.  Which is why my best friend has 4 boys, and I don't.  He knew she could handle it and be a great Mom, too!  I also am on medications that are working that I could not be on if I were pregnant. 

What people might assume about us (or others) because of our (their) choice to not have children:

1. We are selfish.  Yep, we are human and we can all be selfish at times.  However, I wouldn't consider us to be selfish people.  I don't believe our reasons for not wanting children are selfish.  We love to serve God and others with our time and money, and we can do that in ways that we couldn't do if we had children. 

2. We don't like children.  Wrong!  We love kids, and they really do love us too! :)Have you seen pictures of us with our Nephews/Nieces?  We all have fun when we are together!  They especially love to climb on Uncle Jonathan!  We get to enjoy our Nephews/Nieces and (hopefully) be good examples for them.  Just because we love children, doesn't mean we want to raise some of our own.

3. We want to spend all of our money on ourselves.  I would be lying if I said we didn't have things, such as traveling that we want to do!  However, we love giving of our time and money to God, family and friends!  We are very Blessed!  We want to get out of debt (which we will be very shortly!) so that we can continue to give and be a blessing to others.  We are choosing to live well beneath our means in order to do so.

Some "not so great" reasons to have children (in my opinion):

1. In case we might someday regret not having children.  Not a good reason to have kids.  It sounds a bit selfish, because it's all about "us". " I'll have kids so I don't feel regret later in life". 

2. To have someone to take care of us when we get old.  There are no guarantees in life.  Having children just so there will be someone to take care of us when we are old, would not be fair to the kids, nor is it necessarily realistic.  In this day and age people relocate more now than ever, and families often don't live in close proximity to each other.  In my opinion, having children for this reason is more selfish than choosing not to have children.  Plus, I'm the type of person who will be talking with everyone and having fun even when I'm in a Nursing Home!

3. Because many of our friends have children/are having children.  We've all heard this one:  "If your friends jumped off of a cliff, would you jump off of a cliff too??"  Umm, NO!  Not a good idea to do something just because everyone else is or is not doing it!  Many of my friends got married in their early to mid 20's.  Did that mean that I should have settled for any guy that came along just so I could "be married like everyone else"?  Absolutely not!  I'm SO glad I didn't do that and waited for my Mr. Right!  God has been So Faithful to me and to us! :)

4. To get unconditional love.  First of all, God is the only person that can give pure unconditional love!  Second of all, if we want unconditional love, we can get a dog!  Having kids is about the kids and what we can do for them, what we get from them is just an added bonus!

*****We <3 Being "Aunt Jenny & Uncle Jonathan"!*****
We Are The Coolest Aunt & Uncle Ever, and Humble Too! :)

My Life 5 Years Ago - Then vs. Now

My Life 5 Years Ago - May 1st, 2007

• I was unemployed.
• I relocated back to my hometown of South Bend, IN which meant leaving behind 15 years worth of friends.
• I had been denied unemployment (which I eventually fought and won) so I had no income coming in for over 3 months.
• My Grandmother was gracious enough to let me live with her.
• My Mom's cancer was in her bones.
• I was single and thought I would never find the right guy!
• That July my Nephew was diagnosed with a heart condition which was a birth defect that wasn't caught until he was almost 13 years old.  He had major open heart surgery that September.
• The economy in South Bend/Elkhart IN was awful.  It took me a year of looking to get 1 job offer.  After unemployment ran out (I got it for only 6 months), I took a waitressing job in the meantime to pay the bills.  I would cry if I got jipped on a tip b/c I really needed the money.
• Life was extremely difficult.
• Life was lonely.
• It didn't help matters any that I had the "I'm the victim" mentality, in fact it made my situation worse.
• I was not emotionally healthy.
• I understood that God loved me in my head, but not in my heart.

My Life Now - May 1st, 2012

• I have been working at the same job for 4 years and 1.5 months.
• I have been married for almost 10 months to a man I met thru said job. Our 1st date was almost 2.5 years after I moved back to South Bend.
• My Nephew Trey is doing great!  God spared his life and his last check-up with the cardiologist showed everything looks great!
• I saw an amazing Christian Counselor for about 2 years and 3 months and worked on my issues.
• I have been with my same Small Group for over 4 years.  They have helped me to grow and with God's help to overcome my former "victim mentality", although it still is my first nature and I still fight it!
• Overall, I am emotionally healthy now.
• I am not lonely.  I have Jonathan and lots of friends, both old and new!
• My husband and I plan on being debt free sometime this Summer.
• Life is challenging, but is no longer extremely difficult.
• I wish I could say my Mom's cancer battle is over, and that she is in remission, however she continues to fight the battle!  She is the strongest woman I know and has been a Survivor for over 12 years and 2 months!
• My relationship with my Savior is strong and growing! I know he loves ME unconditionally!

The Moral of my story is:  God has a plan for your life and even if things aren't going so great now, it doesn't mean things will be like that forever.  My life didn't magically get better overnight.  It took many years of perseverance and hard work.  I am in a great season in my life now, so I'm going to appreciate it for as long as it lasts.  My hope is that the next time I hit hard times in my life, that I will "Praise Him in the storm".

Things I Don't Miss/Do Miss About Being Single

There are pros and cons to every stage of life!  I am SO thankful God sent me my "Mr. Right" in his PERFECT timing!  I was 37 and a half and 5 days old when I got married.  In a week we will have been married for 8 months already!  Time sure flies!  Here are some of the things I don't miss/do miss about being single.  I had PLENTY of time to be single, so even though there are some things I miss, I am overall so much more content being married to Jonathan and having his love, support, stability and encouragement!  I'm just SO glad I didn't settle just to have someone in my life!  Making the changes/sacrifices it takes to be married are well worth it for the right person!  Here is a picture of us which was taken on our honeymoon.

 

Don't Miss:

1. Looking at every guy that I knew//met, who happened to be single, as a potential love interest. 
2. Feeling like I didn't "belong".
3. Being asked if I was dating anyone (as if I wasn't ok just being me) over and over and over again.
4. Feeling especially lonely, and feeling like my singleness was accentuated over the Holidays.
5. Knowing that no one would know if I lived or died on my way home, since I lived alone for most of my single years, unless I didn't show up for work for a few days.
6. The uncertainty of dating. (Do I or don't I plan for a future with this person?)
7. Having no one to rely on consistently.
8. Flying solo in a "couple's world".
9. Not having companionship, oftentimes not having anyone to do stuff with.

Do Miss:

1. Having the apartment all to myself so that I could have a girlfriend over to hang out/drink wine/talk without having to go anywhere.  Now we meet for dinner/coffee/walking somewhere in public.  Unless of course, my friend happens to be single.
2. Having total control of the remote control and what I wanted to watch on TV.  
3. Being able to come and go as I pleased without having to let anyone know.
4. Feeling like God's purpose for me was for me to minister to other singles.  I know I still can, but sometimes I think singles may not be able to relate to me as much now that I'm married.
5. Having more time to blog.
6. Having more time to keep in touch with friends. 
7. Making purchases/not making purchases without having to consult anyone.

Can you relate to any of these pros & cons?  Please leave your comments!  I would love to hear from you! :)

We Are Learning Each Other's Love Languages!

     Do you know what your significant other's love language is?  Do you know what your love language is?  If not, I think it is imperative to your relationship that you find out what each other's love language is!  We often communicate our love for others in ways that we like to receive love.  You may have the best of intentions, and be trying really hard to show someone how much they mean to you!  However, if how they receive love is different from how you are giving love, your significant other's love tank is not going to get filled up. This leaves him/her feeling unloved.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book, which I'm sure you have heard of. It's called "The 5 Love Languages".  The 5 Love Languages are:

1. Quality Time

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

     Your love languages can also change over time. I think Physical Touch was my primary love language when I wasn't dating anyone, because I wasn't getting many hugs, etc.  It was only a year ago that I found out "Gifts" were one of my top love languages. 

     Jonathan's primary love language is Physical Touch.  This isn't just referring to sex.  He loves hugs, hand holding, etc.  Jonathan feels loved when he is given physical touch. 

     My primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  Therefore, I tend to give words of affirmation to Jonathan.  If I don't give Jonathan physical touch, words of affirmation aren't going to make him feel loved.  I could compliment him till I'm blue in the face and he would like hearing it, but it's not going to make him feel nearly as loved as if I were to hug him.  He has come SO far in learning my love language!

     My second love language is Gifts.  However, I didn't know that gifts were one of my love languages until we didn't get each other anything for Christmas or Valentine's Day right after we got engaged. Let's just say we both learned from those days! :)  How could Jonathan know Gifts were one of my love languages, if I didn't even know?  I think that's often how we find out what our love languages are, when our needs are not met.  Now that Jonathan knows that gifts are my second love language, he can work at meeting that need, and he has been doing a wonderful job! :)  He got me these roses for our 1 year Engagiversary:

 He got me this beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas! :)

     And he got me these beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day, along with a water bottle and Season One of "Mike & Molly"!  This was my best Valentine's Day ever!  Thank you honey! :)  It's not about the money spent, it's about the thoughts, efforts, feelings that go into getting/giving the gifts!  Here is an awesome quote I saw this week on Facebook (It was a status of "Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married":

The important thing is not the gift, but the emotional love that is communicated by the gift...the gift is quickly gone but the memory lingers.

There is a 5 week love languages challenge going on, which I signed up for and was going to blog about.  However, it wasn't what I expected.  The first challenge it gave me, because Jonathan's love language is physical touch, was to read a book about sex and discuss it with Jonathan.  Jonathan thought that idea was not helpful either!  I thought it would give me daily reminders to hug him, kiss him etc.  Anways, that's why I decided to just blog about the 5 love languages! :)

I would like to know what your love language is.  I'm asking everyone who reads this blog to please take the love language quiz, and let me know what your top love language is! :)  All you need to do is click here, take the quiz and then comment back on my blog with your primary love language.  Please, for the sake of your relationships, if you have a significant other, ask them to take it as well!  You will learn a lot about each other, and what they need to feel loved by you. You will also learn ways that they may be showing you love, just not in the way that you need to be shown it.

Now, go show love to your neighbor, friend, spouse, parent, children, etc! :)  We all need to be shown love!

My Uninvited & Unwanted Guest

     I have an uninvited and unwanted guest who has chosen to visit me 3 times in the past 7 months.  The first time it chose to visit a week and a half (end of June) before we flew to FL for our destination wedding.  The next time was 4 months after that (end of October), and then it came back to visit me 3 months later (now - end of January). This guest just really must like me, and more specifically loves my legs!  In June it favored my right leg and the past 2 times it has preferred my left leg. One would think it would get the hint that the feeling is definitely NOT mutual!  :)

     This guest is called Cellulitis. It is an infection, which left untreated, can turn septic in your system and turn very serious very quickly.  My husband's father was hospitalized for a week with it years ago. Thankfully, each time I have had it I've gotten to the Dr. right away and was put on antibiotics and didn't need to be hospitalized.  However, I have used more vacation days for this infection than I would care to. 

     I have had circulation problems in my legs/ankles for as long as I can remember and about 3 years ago I was finally diagnosed with Venous Insufficiency, you can click on the previous link to read a blog I wrote about it in 2009.  Here is an article that explains Venous Insufficiency and below is a diagram that compares normal veins in the lower legs to abnormal veins in the lower legs:

     My ankles and lower legs swell frequently, so that is nothing new.  It can be annoying and inconvenient and makes it hard to fit my feet into my shoes at times. However, I don't lose time from work because of it.   When I first got Cellulitis before the wedding, it was very scary because I didn't know what it was.  The 2nd and 3rd time it came, I knew what it was and knew I needed to get myself to the Dr. right away to get started on the antibiotics.  The Dr.'s have told me I am much more prone to cellulitis because of my venous insufficiency.  Cellulitis can be caused by being extremely obese, but my Dr. said I am not in that category. 

I am thankful my Dr. is taking this seriously.  She said the first two times someone has cellulitis, they chalk it up to being a "fluke thing", but because I have had it 3 times in 7 months, there is something else going on.  First she is going to have me fast for 12 hours and get my blood drawn.  If everything is normal, she is then going to refer me to a Vascular Surgeon. 

It has been very hard for me to sit still, harder as I'm starting to feel a bit better, because I am the "Team Captain" for a Walking Challenge. I was consistently getting a high number of steps a day, and now this is really setting me back. However, it's better than the alternative of ending up in the hospital!

I am very blessed to have an amazing husband who called off work yesterday to take care of me and make sure I was following the Dr.'s orders! :)  Things like being sick were so much harder without someone around to help.  I also have awesome friends and family who have texted, called, stopped over to visit, shown me FB love and offered to help.  God is good and I am so thankful that the antibiotics have worked pretty quickly each time, and saved me a stay or three in the hospital!  The Dr. said I can go back to work on Monday, so at least I will only have to use 2 vacation days this time around. She also said I can resume my walking on Monday!  Yay! :)  I hope I'm feeling up to it.

Thank you very much for your thoughts and prayers as we continue to get to the bottom of this!

We've Been Happily Married For 200 Days Today!

     Two hundred days ago today I married the love of my life!  As many of you know, I love numbers and statistics! :)  Well, I've been alive (outside of the womb) for 13,901 days, and my first date with Jonathan was 838 days ago!  That means I lived 13,063 days without Jonathan in my life.  We got engaged 411 days ago and promised to love each other and be faithful to each other for the rest of our earthly lives 200 days ago today.   

    For many years, I felt God was depriving me of something that many others around me had, a companion to share their life with.  I seriously thought it would never happen to me!  He wasn't depriving me though, he was only preparing me for the man he had in mind for me. He had my best interest at heart all along, no matter what my emotions happened to be at any given moment.  I was 35, almost 36 years old when I met Jonathan.  I was 36, almost 37 when we got engaged, and I was 37 and a half and 5 days when we got married!  I lived a very large portion of my life as a single person.  I know the hurt and pain of feeling alone and feeling like I didn't belong.  This is why I believe I am sensitive to the feelings of single people now. 

     It might sound cliche, but I wouldn't trade all of those single days for anything.  Why? Because I wouldn't be the person I am today and I wouldn't be with Jonathan today.  God used those years to mold me and to mold Jonathan so that at just the right time we would be an almost perfect (nothing in life is perfect!) match for each other!  He continues to mold us into the couple he wants us to be, but had I not experienced all of those lonely days/years, I wouldn't be as appreciative of what I have now.  I don't buy the "you complete me" crap.  However, when you find your true love, there is a sense of contentment and peace that is hard to explain.  I just finally feel like I'm "home".  Here is a picture of us at our wedding ceremony.

This is the face of a very happily very newly (like 30 minutes tops) married bride! :)

We continue to laugh together on a daily basis. I'm so thankful God sent me someone who makes me laugh more than anyone else I know! :)

The pic below is one of my new favorite pics from our special day!  We look so happy, so in love, so content!  See the bird, or shadow of the bird in the pic? I feel like that is a sign of God's presence in this beautiful moment that was so beautifully captured by my wonderful SIL Sandy of Sandra Ellen Photography. Thank you Sandy for capturing these special moments for us! 

So, if any of my readers are currently single, there is hope! Jesus loves you and He only has His best in mind for you! You are a complete person!  Please don't settle, just to have a companion!   Waiting for His best, is worlds better than anything you could imagine for yourself.

Our wedding verse was Psalm 68:6a:  "God sets the lonely in families."  We were lonely and now we are a family!  God is faithful! :)

Happy 200th day of being married to me Jonathan! 

I love you and I'm so thankful for you!

The J-La-Sta 10,000 Steps Walking Challenge!

On December 29th, 2011 I mentioned on Facebook that I would be starting The J-La-Sta 10,000 Steps Walking Challenge.  I also mentioned that I would be posting a blog shortly regarding the details. This is that blog! :)  I am SO excited to start this Challenge and to have you join me in this Challenge!  I believe that if we have others to be accountable to and hold each other accountable, we are more likely to succeed.  Even if you only take 10 steps more tomorrow than you did today, that is a Success!  I know how overwhelming the number "10,000" sounds!  I've been thinking about when this challenge would start and I've finally come up with a date.  That date is Sunday, January 8th, 2012.  Why January 8th?  Well, you see, I wanted to give you all enough time to get a pedometer if you didn't already have one, and a chance to start walking for a few days to see how many steps you walk in a typical day. January 8th is 10 days from when I first mentioned this challenge and it is 5 days from the posting of this blog. So, you have 5 days to get your Pedometer and to start walking before the challenge starts. The 2nd reason I chose January 8th as the start date is that I have gained weight since I got married 6 months ago (July 8th, 2011).  I want to lose weight for the 2nd 6 months of my Marriage! :)

 Here are some important things to remember if you are considering taking part in this challenge:

• The challenge will go for 12 weeks to get us thru the winter months.  The challenge will end on Saturday, March 31st, 2012.

• You do not need to start at 10,000 steps a day!  If you haven't been physically active, this would be a very bad idea!  You need to work up to 10,000 steps a day.  For example, when I started approximately 3 weeks ago, I started at 6,000ish steps.  I am now up to 7,000-8,000ish steps per day.  I am gradually working toward 10,000 steps a day. Before I started walking I bet I was doing 3,000 steps or less per day. Once I get to 10,000 steps per day on a regular basis, I'm sure I will have some bad days.  We are all human.  That's OK!  Just start again the next day!

• The Pedometer I currently own has proven to be my best one yet!  I have owned it for 4 weeks now and it is still working.  It doesn't give extra steps while using the restroom, and it doesn't make the annoying clicking noises.  If this Pedometer is not in your Budget, that's ok too, any Pedometer is better than no Pedometer!  I promise you my steps have increased just from wearing a Pedometer! I'm such a numbers gal, and anal too!  Here is the link for the Pedometer I have: J-La-Sta's Pedometer.  Here is a picture of it.  I even get to wear it around my neck!  Have I mentioned that I LOVE my new Pedometer?! :)   It even keeps the past 7 days steps in it's memory.
• You may say, "This weather is horrible (if you live anywhere near the Midwest!), it is too cold and there is too much snow!".  In that case, can you find somewhere indoors to walk, ie, a mall?  I have been walking on a 100 step walking path in the basement at work on all of my breaks.  As my Dad frequently quoted my Grandma, "Where there is a will, there is a way!". 

• You can track your steps on the following website: http://www.10000steps.org.au/.  It takes 2 minutes to set up an account and the website is super user friendly.  If you FB message me with your personal email address after you have created an account with thatemail  address, I can add you to the team.  We can see each others daily steps and therefore can cheer each other on and encourage each other! :)  Please remember they are in Australia, so they are already on the next day when you may be tracking your steps in the evening. They also list the day before the month when listing the dates, whereas we list the month first and then the day.

• I promise to encourage you to succeed! Any step toward taking better care of ourselves is a step in the right direction.  Look at it this way, even if you only end up doing an average of 7,500 steps a day, I would bet that is more steps than you are taking on a daily basis today.                                     
• If you are anything like me and are currently experiencing the post holiday/winter blues, getting moving can help with depression!

• I will be thinking of a small prize for the the person who walks the most steps between January 8th and March 31st.  There will also be a 1st runner up for The J-La-Sta 10,000 Steps Challenge.  If that winner or 1st runner up is me, I will still get myself a prize! :) 

Please let me know if you would like to be a part of this challenge!  I will be happy to answer any questions you may have!

Looking forward to "walking with you" as we accomplish our health and/or weight loss goals! :)

Here's to a Happy and Healthy 2012!



5 Reasons Why This Was My Best Christmas Ever!

1. It was my 1st Christmas married to Jonathan.   Thanks to Mom and Don for our "1st Christmas" ornament!  We have been married for 170 days today! We love being married, but most importantly we love being married to each other! We each had many lonely Christmases in the past.  We weren't lonely this year and for that we are both very thankful!  Jonathan's Dad told us yesterday that we are a "Match Made in Heaven". He's right! This kind of match could be nothing other than something orchestrated by the Creator of Love, God Himself.                                               
2. We have started our own Family Christmas traditions.  We love our families of origin and our extended family and we love to celebrate with them, but what was extra special about this year is that we started our own family traditions.  It's hard to start your own Christmas traditions as a single person, because your family of origin is your only family. We may not have children, but we do have our little family. We both agreed it was important to starts those traditions for our 1st married Christmas, because they get harder to change as the years pass.  It is important to us to see family, so this year we saw family on Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day was just us.  Our tradition is that we will spend 1 day with family and 1 day with just us.  I will touch on why this is important for me this time of year when I get to reason # 5.
3. We both put a lot of thought and effort into purchasing gifts for each other.  Last year we both asked each other what we wanted for Christmas, but we didn't really know, and neither of us ended up purchasing gifts for the other.  I didn't realize that "Gifts" was one of my top love languages until I didn't get anything from Jonathan.  This year, we both put a lof of effort into it, and the effort paid off.  It's not about the money spent, but rather about the effort put into making the other person feel special.  We were both successful at that this year!  It's fun to be someone's top priority when it comes to gift giving!
4. We have been blessed and therefore were able to bless others this Christmas.  Last year we started a tradition of helping those in need. and sponsored a family at the local homeless shelter.  This year my Small Group sponsored a family where a set of Grandparents are raising their 8 Grandchildren.  I got tired just reading their ages.  Jonathan and I contributed to making this family's Christmas more special. That's a good feeling!  We were also able to bless our nieces/nephews, parents, etc with gifts. For many years as a single person money was tight and on top of that I wasn't managing my money as well as we are now. I was often unable to give presents to family.  It feels good to be a blessing to others and we are thankful for how blessed we are!  We have no wedding to pay for and we have 1 rent instead of 2.  We are also down to 1 student loan and 1 car payment! All of these things sure make a huge difference!
5. My SAD is much more controlled this year.  December has been a hard month for me for as long as I can remember but especially since 12/8/1999 when my Dad passed away.  SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder which is also known as Winter Depression.  The symptoms start in early Fall and end when Spring begins. Some of the symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on or completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, social activities, and lack of interest in activities you typically enjoy during the spring/summer months.  For these reasons, Christmas isn't one of my favorite Holidays.  I am thankful to God for sending us our most important Gift of His Son Jesus!  However, Easter is my favorite Holiday because of the comfort of the Resurrection.  This Christmas has been my best Christmas Ever, and here are the  reasons why:  This year I have the stability/security of being married, I have been walking, I am on medicine that is controlling the depression/anxiety quite well.  Typically I cry a lot this time of year and withdraw from social activities because I just want to hibernate and be alone.  I'm happy to say I haven't really cried at all this year. I wish Christmas was in July, because then I would spend more time with my family of origin/extended family.  I still get stressed easily and this is another reason why Jonathan and I decided to start our tradition of spending either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day alone. Many love all of the hustle and bustle of seeing so many family members in a 2 day time frame.  In the Summer, I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought. I love spending time with friend's and family!   However, in the winter, I often lack the energy to do so and it's hard to be around groups of people when I'm not feeling very well. 

I want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year! 


Love,




Jen (& Jonathan)