Sunday, December 25, 2016
We received a Christmas card, on Christmas Eve, from Dear Friends, who I have known since I was a little girl. It was so nice to hear from them, but most of all, the handwritten note is what meant so much to me. She had gotten our Christmas photo card in the mail showing our many Blessings. She told me that she is currently reading a book called "364 Days of Thanksgiving". It's a devotional, and the goal of the Author is to spur "overwhelming gratitude, which leads to overwhelming generosity". The secret, he says, to overwhelming gratitude is : open your eyes. My Friend said: "You two have done that and your faces show it. "Godliness with contentment is great gain." God is good!" It meant so much to me to have someone who knew me in my childhood/teenage years, and knows my struggle with depression, see in my eyes and face, that we are grateful and content. I truly am! I couldn't ask for more. Well, OK, I'd gladly have my depression taken away....but other than that....Life is Good! We are so blessed! We have each other, our new home, and our precious Mookie boy, but most of all, we have a Savior who will never leave us! I've found that my contentment comes from God and from realizing His many blessings to me. Of course it took me years of hard times to be able to get to this point, but I am truly content. God has Blessed us! I pray that you can find contentment in your life, and are able to see your Blessings, even in the midst of hard times. Life is tough, but God is Faithful! :-)
Merry Christmas! :-)
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
|My Dad with his Grandson Trey. Trey was the only Grandchild he met. Trey was 5 when Dad passed away.|
Today was a rough day for me. I thought that after 17 years, I should be able to get thru the anniversary of Dad's death without being sad and letting it affect me like it does. But, you know what? I decided to give myself some Grace. The loss of my Dad affected me deeply and profoundly. News flash, I know, but I'm human! Humans have feelings. I have feelings. Painful memories such as the loss of a close loved one, they resurface sometimes, and of course they would resurface on the Anniversary of his passing. This is completely normal. So I'm not going to tell myself not to be sad. I'm going to allow myself to just be sad tonight, knowing that tomorrow is the Anniversary of his passing. Even Jesus wept. I miss my Dad. I miss having a Dad. He missed my Wedding. He never met my Husband. I was 25 when he passed. So much life has happened since then. I'm sad for all the things he has missed in my life, yet I would never want him back. Selfishly, yes, but he is pain and worry free in heaven. I listened to this song hundreds of times (alone in my apartment in WI, alone in my car) after his passing and shed lots of tears while listening to it. Thanks to my Sister Pam who posted this song today and reminded me of it. It has a healing effect for me, just listening to it again. I'll warn you that the video itself is really lame, but the words.....the words touch me and bring me peace.
I pray that if you need peace regarding the loss of a loved one, that this song would bring you some peace and comfort.
Saturday Jonathan and I will celebrate our 7th Engagiversary, and 6 months of having Mookie in our lives. I will allow myself to feel happy then. But for tonight, I'm just sad, and that's ok.