Our Non-Traditional Family

Our Wedding Verse was "God sets the lonely in Families"."  ~Psalm 68:6A NIV

Jonathan, Jennifer, Mookie, Eliana & Caro

I've learned that "Family" comes in many different forms.  Jonathan and I have a non-traditional family.  We Married later in life.  We were content being a Family of 2 for 5 years, until God put it on our hearts to adopt Mookie.  Then we decided we are going on a Mission Trip to Ecuador next Summer.  We will be visiting a Compassion International Center.  This is how God put it on my heart to Sponsor a Compassion International little girl from Ecuador.

I went on the site to see the children available for sponsorship between the ages of 1 and 8.  I acted like I was picking one.  Then it asked me to consider sponsoring another little girl from the same Church.  How could I resist??  Both of these girls waited for 248 days to be Sponsored!  I felt God pulling me to Sponsor both of them.  However, it's not just me that makes the money decisions.  It's Us.  Jonathan prayed and thought about it for a day or so.  Then he also wanted to Sponsor both girls.

Eliana is in the Middle pic.  She is 6 years old.  Caro is in the bottom pic.  She just turned 5 years old.  I've already written them and sent them our picture online.  The letter/picture will be printed and sent to them. The money spent sponsoring them goes to help educate them, feed them, teach them about nutrition, etc and most importantly it goes to teach them about Jesus.  My heart is full.  The girls live in a different part of Ecuador from where we are going for the Mission Trip, but I hope to someday meet these precious Children of God. Until then, I will pray for them, write to them, and love on them from a distance, and love on Jonathan and Mookie right here in South Bend, IN.  God is Good!  We are Blessed.

Love is.........

 

     As Valentine's Day approaches, naturally, I got to thinking about Love and what it really means.  Real Love goes far deeper than a dozen roses and a mushy card on a Hallmark Holiday. In our 4 years and 7 months of Marriage, I've learned a lot about Love and Marital Love.  It's a daily choice.  It's not something we feel like doing all of the time, but it is for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, just as we promised each other on July 8th, 2011. 

1.  Real Love sees his wife thru 4 bouts of cellulitis. 
2.  Real Love makes Lifetime health and dietary changes (resulting in substantial weight loss) with his wife, after she is diagnosed with prediabetes. 
3.  Real Love makes sacrifices to work hard to get out of debt just 1 year after we got Married.
4.  Real Love grows stronger, thru the caring of (in addition to becoming his power of attorney) a parent with cancer, in the hospital and nursing home, after only just over a year of  marriage.  Real Love is being there together when that parent breathes his last breath and enters into the arms of Jesus.
5.  Real Love is holding each other up when we felt totally out of control after I was admitted to the hospital the day after we planned his Dad's funeral.  I was hospitalized for 3 nights, and had my dead and gangrenous gallbladder removed.  Jonathan was there for me, even thru his own grief of losing his Dad.  I got released from the hospital, and we went straight to his Dad's memorial service.  That was a very difficult time for us, but God was Faithful and we are stronger together because of it.
6.  Real Love is there for you when you find out your Mom's cancer spread to her brain, and later her lung.
7.  Real Love holds you up when you find out your "little" Sister's 37 year old Husband and Father of 4 of your precious Nieces and Nephews has a rare and aggressive cancer, of which there is no cure.

We've celebrated our 40th Birthdays together, and have seen some amazing places together in our travels, Upper Michigan, Aruba, NYC, Boston, Florida, etc.  We try to live life to the fullest everyday, knowing that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow.  We love to bless others together, which is something else we wouldn't be in a financial position to do if we weren't together.

We have been married just over 4.5 years, but I feel like we've experienced a lifetime of ups and downs in our relatively short time of being married.  We are stronger together.  Our Wedding verse was "God sets the Lonely in Families." ~Psalm 68:6.  God knew what we would have to face in the future, and I'm so thankful he brought us together to support and love each other in the best and worst of times.  Life is tough, but God is Faithful! :-)

Yes.  He did get me a dozen roses and a super sweet card, for which I'm very grateful! :-)  But this pales in comparison to the unconditional love he has shown me in the past 4.5 years. 

Jonathan, I love you so very much, and there is no one else I'd rather experience the highest highs and lowest lows of life with.

Happy Valentine's Day Baby!

Always and Forever Yours,


Your Irish Hills Hottie!  ;-)

Gratitude For God's Gifts of Love to Me - Week 5

My Year of Thanks!

April 17th - April 23rd, 2015

 

April 17th

1. Thankful for the opportunity to serve Debbie & Scott by creating/running the CaringBridge Website for them.
2. Thankful for a nice walk with my Husband to enjoy the warm weather.
3. Thankful I made it thru the work week after a hard, emotional week in my personal life.

April 18th

1. Thankful for the beauty of nature which we enjoyed at Pokagon State Park Today.
2. Thankful for a delicious meal at Caruso's.
3. Thankful I was 2 lbs down after a rough week.  This was a huge scale and non-scale victory!

April 19th

1. Safe travels home from Angola.
2. Thankful for a bit of relaxation at a coffee shop in Angola.
3. Thankful for free Breakfast at our Hotel.

April 20th

1. I'm So, So Grateful that the Cardioversion worked to get my BIL's heart back into rhythm.
2. Thankful for the technology of texting.  It's a lot easier keeping updated when far away from loved ones.
3. The Blessing of Friends Praying on our behalf.

April 21st

1. I was able to focus better at work Today.
2. I head an Awesome song on the way home from work that excited and comforted me.
3. I'm thankful my Sister's Family has a huge support system both near and far.

April 22nd

1. I'm thankful that I have a Husband who cooks every night. What a Godsend!
2. I'm thankful said Husband set up an oil change appointment so the car is ready for my drive to WI on my days off next week.
3. I'm thankful the snow melted.

April 23rd

1. "The Hardest Peace", A book written by Kara Tippetts - I read half of it this Evening.
2. Meijer MPerks - Helps to save money.
3. Medicine which helps even out my chemical imbalances.





Gratitude For God's Gifts of Love to Me - Week 4

My Year of Thanks!

April 10th - April 16th, 2015

 

Not Gonna Lie!  This was an incredibly hard week to stay grateful!  April 9th we found out that my Brother-in-Law very likely had cancer.  Then on April 15th, we found out he has a very rare form of Sarcoma cancer.  At times I went for days without writing down the 3 things I was grateful for each day.  The important thing, is that I went back and actually wrote 3 things down for each day I missed. I started my "Year of Thankfulness" on March 20th.  Little did I know at that time, how challenging, yet important it would be for me to continue to be grateful, regardless of the circumstances in my life or in the lives of those I love, and no matter how "down" I felt.  God is Good!  All the Time! 

April 10th

1. Cookie Butter
2. Decaf Coffee
3. The Weekend - After a Very Long Week.

April 11th

1. Natural Vitamin D - NOT in the form of a pill!
2. My "baby" Sister Debbie.
3. My 2.4 lb weight loss.

April 12th

1. Shawn Holtgren - He's a great Friend & Encourager to us - Oh, he Married us too!! ;-)
2. The fact that I don't need bifocals.....yet!
3. Great Vision Insurance.

April 13th

1. Weight Watchers low point, yummy ice cream treats.
2. Two hours of Overtime.
3. Sunshine.

April 14th

1. I got our taxes done/filed.
2. We owed less in taxes than we did last year.
3. My Sunrise Simulator.

April 15th

1. My Awesome Friend Mary
2. My Awesome Friend Alice
3. My Awesome Cousin Chad

April 16th

1. My Co-Worker Beth coming back to work, and lightening my work load.
2. "Oh my God, He will not delay, my refuge and strength, Always!" - Great Lyrics from a song that was on the Radio during my drive home from work. Very timely lyrics!
3. Dinner with a Great Friend - We encouraged each other.  What a Blessing!



Happy Valentines Day To The Love Of My Life!!

It really is true what they say, that after you have been Married for a while, Valentine's Day isn't nearly as big of a deal as it used to be.  When I was Single I always felt left out and felt as if my Singleness was accentuated on that day.  Everyone else had a Valentine (or so I thought), but I didn't.  I have learned that Real Everyday Married Love goes so much deeper than the love that can be expressed on February 14th every year. 

Real Love is choosing to change unhealthy lifestyles together because of your love for the other person and your love for yourself.  Real Love is supporting each other thru caring for and watching a parent die of cancer.  Real Love is being there when your spouse is hospitalized and has surgery even though your Dad just died 2 days prior.  Real Love is going with each other to the grave sites of our earthly Fathers.  Real Love is going to support a loved one during a sentencing hearing.  Real Love is choosing to love each other even on days when we don't feel so lovable.  Real Love is living everyday life with all of it's stressors and ups and downs.

We have lived a lot of life in our 1317 days of Marriage.  The loss and struggles we have experienced together, have only made us stronger.  Together we have accomplished far more than we could have individually.  This Covenant Marriage is no doubt God's design.  We aren't the same people we were the day we got Married.  Jonathan hit his goal weight at weight watcher's today.  He is 115 pounds lighter than the day we got Married.  I have lost a lot of weight myself.  We are also debt free.  Both weight loss and debt loss require sacrifice and not giving in to our every whim and feeling and want.  Going thru these processes together has taught us discipline.  We are Happy!  We are Healthy!  We are Blessed!  We are Thankful!

I Love You Baby!  There is no one else I'd rather be doing life with!  Thank you for your extreme patience with me thru all of these lovely hormonal changes that no one warned me about!  You are the Best!  You are one of the hardest working, most caring, most loving, most accepting people I know!  Thank you for Daily Teaching me about Love and Grace!  I can't wait to share your 40th Birthday with you at Fenway Park!  I know we will feel God's presence and your Dad's presence in those precious moments together!  We leave on our NYC/Boston Trip in just 140 days!  In 144 days we will celebrate our 4th Wedding Anniversary and in 146 days we will be at Fenway Park celebrating your 40th Birthday while we watch the Red Sox hopefully beat the Yankees!  I cannot wait to experience that with you because I love You! 

Happy Valentine's Day Mr. Stanley!  I will love you until God calls me home...cuz...well...I am the "Cougar" in this Relationship! :-)

Here's to many more Valentines Days together, but most importantly, many more days of living everyday life together!

I am SO PROUD of You and Proud of the Man you are, have become, and are becoming! 

Love Always,


Mrs. Stanley

Weight Watchers Plus Determination Equals The Incredible Shrinking Couple! :)

1.  He Loves Me!  My Husband loves me so much that he started walking/losing weight with me after my pre-diabetes diagnosis in February of 2012.  He said he knew that it would be easier for me to change my habits if we both changed them together.  That is love!  In January of 2013 when I decided I wanted to join Weight Watchers Online, he decided to also join Weight Watchers Online the very next day! Even though he gets to eat more than me, it is SO MUCH easier navigating this weight loss journey with both of us being on the same page!  We are Blessed! :)

2.  We Are Determined!  When we say we are going to do something, we usually do it.  I am typically a woman of my word and he is typically a man of his word!  My Goal is to reach 135 lbs by my 40th Birthday!  Jon's goal is to reach 190 lbs and be below 200 lbs for the first time in his adult life!  Jon is currently 78 lbs lighter than our wedding day (July 8th, 2011).  Wow!  He is amazing!  I am currently 52.4 lbs lighter than I was on my 38th Birthday (January of 2012).  Jon has 21 lbs to go to reach his goal and I have 21.6 lbs to go to reach my goal.  We can and will do this!

Top: Jen on Jan 2nd, 2012 at 209 lbs/Jen on Aug 31st, 2013 at 156.6 lbs
Bottom: Jon (243 lbs) & Jen (189.1 lbs) on Jan 4th, 2013/Jen (156.6 lbs) & Jon (211 lbs) on Aug 31st, 2013

3.  Our Success Is SO MUCH More Than A Number!  Yes, It's true, the number on the scale tells us how much we weigh.  It is a good guide to go by when trying to get healthier, but it's not the only guide.  We are eating healthier, we are fitting into smaller clothes, we have gained some muscle, and we feel so much better about ourselves!  Partly, because we are accomplishing something we didn't think we could accomplish before.  We know we are getting healthier, and losing weight the right way. We LOVE FOOD.  We LOVE food that is bad for us!  We are REAL people who have real struggles.  We don't have a personal chef or personal trainers.  If we can lose weight, anyone can!  I kicked pre-diabetes to the curb, and THAT FACT is more important than any number the scale tells me! :)

4.  My Husband Goes On Hikes With Me!  I love him!  I married him for love.  I married him because I knew God made us for each other.  Did I ever think he would go on hikes with me?  No.  I honestly didn't.  Did I want him to?  Yes.  God is SO GOOD.  He has blessed me with more than I could have ever imagined!  I believe God is making us even more compatible with each other though our weight loss journey.

5.  I Will Be Extra Fabulous at Forty!  I seriously am looking forward to this next decade of my life!  I will be starting it off in ARUBA with my HUSBAND, at my goal weight!  I never would have thought I'd be at this point in my life (Married AND going to ARUBA!) if you would have asked me 6 years ago.  God's plans are always Best!  Even if I look good enough to wear a bikini, I won't wear a bikini.  I have 5 surgery scars from my gallbladder removal just 6 months ago.  I'll wear a Tankini and look just as fabulous!

6.  Weight Watchers Works For Us!  Weight loss is one of those very personal issues that a person has to want to do on his/her own.  Did people tell me I should eat healthier and lose weight before?  Yes!  Was I ready to listen?  No!  But when I decided I WAS going to lose the weight and get healthier, nothing could stop me!  Well, I've had hiccups...like gaining 7.6 lbs on our Anniversary vacay.  It's not always smooth sailing.  We are human.  But we just keep on keeping on and persistence and following the Weight Watchers Points is giving us results.  Sometimes not as quickly as we'd like to see them, but we are seeing results.  I can now see pictures of myself and say...I sure look good!  I have gained confidence and pride in knowing that I am doing what I said I would do.

I'll post again when we get to our goal weights.  In the meantime, if you have any questions, about Weight Watchers, just let me know!  I will always need the boundaries of weight watchers.  I love food too much to not have the boundaries weight watchers provides in our lives.

Pure True Indescribable Joy

Have you ever experienced pure true indescribable Joy?  I have!  Easter Sunday, April 8th, 2012 is the day I experienced pure true indescribable Joy!  This was my Baptism Day!  Yes, I was baptized as an infant.  If you want to know why I chose to get baptized as an adult, you can read that blog by clicking this link. For about 2 weeks afterwards, I was on what I called a "Baptism high".  It's been exactly 4 months today since my Baptism, and even now I have such Joy in my heart when I think about that wonderful day!  It truly was one of 2 of the happiest days of my life!  That day changed my life and my heart forever!  I say indescribable because there are no words that can accurately describe the joy my heart felt that day and continues to feel because of that day.  I found this description on a blog by John which is the closest I'll come to describing it:

"During a baptism something happens that is very difficult to explain. In a single moment - everything changes.  One enters the water purposeful, ready and willing to surrender everything to God.  And in a single moment, they rise with a radiance that rivals the brightest sunrise."

I was SO excited and smiling so big before my Baptism that Dr. (Pastor) Bob (the guy on the right who baptized me) said "I'm not worried about this one!" I'll let the pictures and video speak for themselves, but I do know that God used my Baptism to open my heart to love more deeply and to feel His Joy more completely! :)

My friend and co-worker Brandon caught my Baptism on video! :) It's only 53 seconds long, and my baptism starts at 38 seconds.

I thought the 2nd to the last picture was so awesome!  It's like I'm holding up the words.  My desire is "forever to bring Him praise, forever to lift up His name"!

I Am SO Excited For My 2nd Baptism on Easter, April 8th, 2012!!!

Ever since my Dad passed away on December 8th, 1999, Easter has been my favorite Holiday!  Why?  Because of the comfort the Resurrection brings, and what it means in the life and death of Christians. My Dad loved the Lord and trusted in Jesus as his Savior.  I know I will see my Dad again in heaven.  On December 11th, 1999, we said "good-bye" to my Dad, but it really wasn't good-bye.  It was more like "see you later!".  I know I will see him again when I get to heaven! :) 

A few weeks ago at Church, they mentioned they were going to have Baptism on Easter weekend this year.  I had been considering getting baptized again for a few years, but when I heard it was going to be done on Easter Sunday, I knew this was my time!  What better way to spend my favorite Holiday, then by getting Baptized?! :)

I am SO thankful that my parents raised me in the Christian faith!  I was baptized the 1st time at only a few weeks old.  My 2nd Baptism will in no way diminish my 1st Baptism.  If anything, it shows that my parents raised me to love Jesus and to follow him.  I am very thankful for that!

So what does my 2nd Baptism mean to me?  It does not mean salvation. I know I am going to heaven because I believe in Jesus as my Savior.  I believe Jesus saves, not that baptism saves.  I like the way my Pastor says that we cannot choose Baptism without Christ already having worked in our hearts.  I cannot on my own choose to follow Him.  No one can come to faith in Christ on his/her own!  I'm thankful my Pastor and my Church believe that.  My Pastor suggested we read and study the Apostles Creed prior to getting baptized.  That is what my Church believes. That is what I believe.  To me, my 2nd Baptism is an outward symbol of my inward commitment to Christ. It is my way of saying "Here is what God has already done for me! I am committed to following Him!" Just like my Marriage to Jonathan was my public display of my commitment to love, honor, and cherish him for the rest of my life, so my Baptism is my public display of my commitment to follow Christ for the rest of my life.  By the way, I am getting baptized on the 9 month anniversary of our marriage.  The 8th was the day dad died, but now the 8th will hold happier memories!  I married the love of my life on the 8th, and I will be Baptized again on Easter Sunday, which is also the 8th! :)

On April 8th, 2012, I will be picturing the Lord saying to me "This is my daughter, whom I love, with her I am well pleased!",  just as He said to Jesus when He was Baptized at the start of his public ministry.  I am so thankful that my Husband, my friends Sarah & Mike, and my Church family will be there to support me!

I wish you all a Blessed Easter filled with His love! :)

Things I Don't Miss/Do Miss About Being Single

There are pros and cons to every stage of life!  I am SO thankful God sent me my "Mr. Right" in his PERFECT timing!  I was 37 and a half and 5 days old when I got married.  In a week we will have been married for 8 months already!  Time sure flies!  Here are some of the things I don't miss/do miss about being single.  I had PLENTY of time to be single, so even though there are some things I miss, I am overall so much more content being married to Jonathan and having his love, support, stability and encouragement!  I'm just SO glad I didn't settle just to have someone in my life!  Making the changes/sacrifices it takes to be married are well worth it for the right person!  Here is a picture of us which was taken on our honeymoon.

 

Don't Miss:

1. Looking at every guy that I knew//met, who happened to be single, as a potential love interest. 
2. Feeling like I didn't "belong".
3. Being asked if I was dating anyone (as if I wasn't ok just being me) over and over and over again.
4. Feeling especially lonely, and feeling like my singleness was accentuated over the Holidays.
5. Knowing that no one would know if I lived or died on my way home, since I lived alone for most of my single years, unless I didn't show up for work for a few days.
6. The uncertainty of dating. (Do I or don't I plan for a future with this person?)
7. Having no one to rely on consistently.
8. Flying solo in a "couple's world".
9. Not having companionship, oftentimes not having anyone to do stuff with.

Do Miss:

1. Having the apartment all to myself so that I could have a girlfriend over to hang out/drink wine/talk without having to go anywhere.  Now we meet for dinner/coffee/walking somewhere in public.  Unless of course, my friend happens to be single.
2. Having total control of the remote control and what I wanted to watch on TV.  
3. Being able to come and go as I pleased without having to let anyone know.
4. Feeling like God's purpose for me was for me to minister to other singles.  I know I still can, but sometimes I think singles may not be able to relate to me as much now that I'm married.
5. Having more time to blog.
6. Having more time to keep in touch with friends. 
7. Making purchases/not making purchases without having to consult anyone.

Can you relate to any of these pros & cons?  Please leave your comments!  I would love to hear from you! :)

We Are Learning Each Other's Love Languages!

     Do you know what your significant other's love language is?  Do you know what your love language is?  If not, I think it is imperative to your relationship that you find out what each other's love language is!  We often communicate our love for others in ways that we like to receive love.  You may have the best of intentions, and be trying really hard to show someone how much they mean to you!  However, if how they receive love is different from how you are giving love, your significant other's love tank is not going to get filled up. This leaves him/her feeling unloved.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book, which I'm sure you have heard of. It's called "The 5 Love Languages".  The 5 Love Languages are:

1. Quality Time

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

     Your love languages can also change over time. I think Physical Touch was my primary love language when I wasn't dating anyone, because I wasn't getting many hugs, etc.  It was only a year ago that I found out "Gifts" were one of my top love languages. 

     Jonathan's primary love language is Physical Touch.  This isn't just referring to sex.  He loves hugs, hand holding, etc.  Jonathan feels loved when he is given physical touch. 

     My primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  Therefore, I tend to give words of affirmation to Jonathan.  If I don't give Jonathan physical touch, words of affirmation aren't going to make him feel loved.  I could compliment him till I'm blue in the face and he would like hearing it, but it's not going to make him feel nearly as loved as if I were to hug him.  He has come SO far in learning my love language!

     My second love language is Gifts.  However, I didn't know that gifts were one of my love languages until we didn't get each other anything for Christmas or Valentine's Day right after we got engaged. Let's just say we both learned from those days! :)  How could Jonathan know Gifts were one of my love languages, if I didn't even know?  I think that's often how we find out what our love languages are, when our needs are not met.  Now that Jonathan knows that gifts are my second love language, he can work at meeting that need, and he has been doing a wonderful job! :)  He got me these roses for our 1 year Engagiversary:

 He got me this beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas! :)

     And he got me these beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day, along with a water bottle and Season One of "Mike & Molly"!  This was my best Valentine's Day ever!  Thank you honey! :)  It's not about the money spent, it's about the thoughts, efforts, feelings that go into getting/giving the gifts!  Here is an awesome quote I saw this week on Facebook (It was a status of "Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married":

The important thing is not the gift, but the emotional love that is communicated by the gift...the gift is quickly gone but the memory lingers.

There is a 5 week love languages challenge going on, which I signed up for and was going to blog about.  However, it wasn't what I expected.  The first challenge it gave me, because Jonathan's love language is physical touch, was to read a book about sex and discuss it with Jonathan.  Jonathan thought that idea was not helpful either!  I thought it would give me daily reminders to hug him, kiss him etc.  Anways, that's why I decided to just blog about the 5 love languages! :)

I would like to know what your love language is.  I'm asking everyone who reads this blog to please take the love language quiz, and let me know what your top love language is! :)  All you need to do is click here, take the quiz and then comment back on my blog with your primary love language.  Please, for the sake of your relationships, if you have a significant other, ask them to take it as well!  You will learn a lot about each other, and what they need to feel loved by you. You will also learn ways that they may be showing you love, just not in the way that you need to be shown it.

Now, go show love to your neighbor, friend, spouse, parent, children, etc! :)  We all need to be shown love!

We've Been Happily Married For 200 Days Today!

     Two hundred days ago today I married the love of my life!  As many of you know, I love numbers and statistics! :)  Well, I've been alive (outside of the womb) for 13,901 days, and my first date with Jonathan was 838 days ago!  That means I lived 13,063 days without Jonathan in my life.  We got engaged 411 days ago and promised to love each other and be faithful to each other for the rest of our earthly lives 200 days ago today.   

    For many years, I felt God was depriving me of something that many others around me had, a companion to share their life with.  I seriously thought it would never happen to me!  He wasn't depriving me though, he was only preparing me for the man he had in mind for me. He had my best interest at heart all along, no matter what my emotions happened to be at any given moment.  I was 35, almost 36 years old when I met Jonathan.  I was 36, almost 37 when we got engaged, and I was 37 and a half and 5 days when we got married!  I lived a very large portion of my life as a single person.  I know the hurt and pain of feeling alone and feeling like I didn't belong.  This is why I believe I am sensitive to the feelings of single people now. 

     It might sound cliche, but I wouldn't trade all of those single days for anything.  Why? Because I wouldn't be the person I am today and I wouldn't be with Jonathan today.  God used those years to mold me and to mold Jonathan so that at just the right time we would be an almost perfect (nothing in life is perfect!) match for each other!  He continues to mold us into the couple he wants us to be, but had I not experienced all of those lonely days/years, I wouldn't be as appreciative of what I have now.  I don't buy the "you complete me" crap.  However, when you find your true love, there is a sense of contentment and peace that is hard to explain.  I just finally feel like I'm "home".  Here is a picture of us at our wedding ceremony.

This is the face of a very happily very newly (like 30 minutes tops) married bride! :)

We continue to laugh together on a daily basis. I'm so thankful God sent me someone who makes me laugh more than anyone else I know! :)

The pic below is one of my new favorite pics from our special day!  We look so happy, so in love, so content!  See the bird, or shadow of the bird in the pic? I feel like that is a sign of God's presence in this beautiful moment that was so beautifully captured by my wonderful SIL Sandy of Sandra Ellen Photography. Thank you Sandy for capturing these special moments for us! 

So, if any of my readers are currently single, there is hope! Jesus loves you and He only has His best in mind for you! You are a complete person!  Please don't settle, just to have a companion!   Waiting for His best, is worlds better than anything you could imagine for yourself.

Our wedding verse was Psalm 68:6a:  "God sets the lonely in families."  We were lonely and now we are a family!  God is faithful! :)

Happy 200th day of being married to me Jonathan! 

I love you and I'm so thankful for you!

The Gift

     In 9 days I will celebrate my first married Christmas with my husband Jonathan!  Today at work I heard the most AMAZING song on the radio!  It is by Collin Raye and Susan Ashton and it's called "The Gift"!  I've coined this as our Christmas love song! You can watch the video and lyrics belowif you'd like, or you can go here to view the lyrics. Thankfully Jonathan approves and agrees that it is a beautiful song! We are blessed beyond belief!  Obviously our most important Christmas gift is the birth of our Savior. He is the Reason for the Season!  

     I'm very much looking forward to our 1st married Christmas together!  In my many single years, I felt the loneliness of being single much more around the Holidays. We both spent many lonely Christmases in the past, and this makes us appreciate each other all the more!  I'm keenly aware of the fact that we live in a "couple's world".  It's unfortunate, because we are all unique individuals who should be accepted and acknowledged for who we are, not for what our marital status is!  Can I get an AMEN?! :)  I was a complete person before I met Jonathan, and I'm a complete person now, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm married!  Am I less lonely, yes! Do I feel a greater sense of peace and contentment, yes! Are there some things I miss about being single, there are a few things I suppose, but remember I had many years of the single life (which I enjoyed for the most part) and now I'm enjoying my married life with the man God sent to me in His perfect timing! :)  Did I doubt God would ever send me my "Mr. Right"?  Yep, sure did!  I didn't know if that was His plan for me or not.  Deep down I knew God had my best interest at heart, but I sure was lonely around the Holidays. 

     This year I'm thankful for the "The Gift" of my husband Jonathan and the love and bond that we share. Some may think this song is corny, but it touches my heart and I'm so thankful that regardless of if God blesses us with 5 married Christmases together on this earth or 50 married Christmase before He decides to call one or both of us home to heaven, what matters is that we get to spend THIS Christmas together. We will never again have a "1st Married Christmas Together". Jonathan is my 2nd most important Christmas gift. He would say the same about me and I'm more than OK with that!  :)

Jonathan, "I'm thankful EVERY day for The Gift"! :) 

Merry Christmas Baby! :)

   

God's Gift To Me!

Most of you know that my Husband's name is Jonathan.  Well, I found out tonight while browsing the internet that the meaning of Jonathan's name is "God has given" or "Gift of God".  Wow! I'm convinced Jonathan is the 2nd most special/important gift God has ever given me, second only to God's gift of His only Son so that I will have eternal life in heaven!   Here is a list of just a few of the many ways Jonathan has blessed my life. He has brought more of each of these things into my life:

J - Joy - God has brought such Joy to my life thru Jonathan.
O - Opportunity - God has given me the opportunity to grow as a person and in my faith thru my relationship with Jonathan.
N - Knowledge- Anyone who knows Jonathan knows that he holds a plethora of knowledge in that head! He shares it with me everyday.
A - Acceptance - God has shown me more of what His acceptance and Grace are like, as Jonathan accepts me just as I am, flaws and all.
T -  Thankfulness -  I am SO thankful God sent me the right person to share my life with in His perfect timing.
H - Humor - Jonathan makes me laugh every single day!  Laughter truly is medicine for the soul.
A -  Appreciation - I appreciate my Husband so much more because of the fact that I was single for so long. I never want to take him for granted, although I am human, so I'm sure I will at some point.
N -  Nourishment - God continues to nourish my heart and soul thru Jonathan. Jonathan has a much better understanding of His unconditional love and teaches me about what unconditional love is on a daily basis.

Here is a picture which so perfectly captures the joy and laughter we share.  It was taken by my awesome Sister-In-Law Sandy of Sandra Ellen Photography at our Wedding Dinner in Clearwater Beach, FL on 7/8/2011.

I love you Jonathan and I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else!  I look forward to growing with you and in our relationship with God, individually and as a couple.

You truly are God's gift to me! :)

How Great Is Our God!!

I am a HUGE fan of Christian Musician Chris Tomlin's music and follow him on Facebook.  A few days ago the following post from Chris Tomlin came across my news feed:

With the upcoming release of How Great Is Our God: The Essential Collection on Nov. 15th, some media are looking to highlight a few stories showing what these songs have meant to people.

If God has used any of these songs in your lives and they've meant something special to you, we'd love to hear it.

Send your story to info@sixstepsrecords.com by October 21st. Thanks.

It didn't take long at all before I KNEW I had to email them my story of how and why "How Great Is Our God" is such a special song to me!  I thought I would share that same email with my blog readers.  I didn't include the picture that I included below, although now I wish I would have! We have been married for 100 days today! :)

Here is the email I sent:

     This is an extra special song for me! It brings me back to my wedding day, which was just this past July 8th, 2011! :-) My Fiance and I wanted our Wedding to be a Worship Service. You see, we were both single for a very long time. I (Jennfer) was 37 and Jonathan turned 36 two days after the wedding. We were both single, never married, with no children. We both knew what it was like to be alone in a "couple's society". Our hearts yearned for someone to share our life with, but that just didn't seem to be happening for either one of us. My Dad was called home to heaven when I was 25 years old. Two months later my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Life alone, with out the support of a significant other was difficult. But our God knew exactly what he was doing and brought us together at just the right time! March of 2007 I was living in Milwaukee, WI where I had lived for 15 years (I went to college there and stayed). I was praying about moving back to South Bend, IN because of how Mom's cancer had progressed. I lost my job the very next day! I had NEVER lost a job before. If that wasn't an answer to prayer, I don't know what is! I moved back to South Bend, IN where I was born and raised 5/1/2007. South Bend is near Elkhart, IN which is the RV Capital of the world. Needless to say, jobs were extremely hard to come by. I was on unemployment for 6 months and then finally got a waitressing job to pay the bills. March 17 of 2008 I finally got a better job at a large insurance company. October of 2009 an acquaintance in my department at work said she had a friend who worked in our building who was interested in me. She set it up a double date for me, Jonathan, and her and her fiance. That date was 10/09/2009. The rest is history! We got engaged 12/10/10. Now December holds a happy memory for me. You see. Dad passed away 12/8/99. Ever since then December has been a very hard month for me. Now it is a month that holds good memories too! :) We planned a beach wedding on Sand Key Beach in Clearwater Beach. FL. His Best Man was also our Pastor. He did an amazing job! There were 18 of us total who traveled down to FL. The wedding was scheduled for 7:15pm. It rained SO hard ALL day the day before the wedding and all day the day of the wedding. We had to get married under a pavilion. But thankfully the weather cleared and afterwards we were blessed to get amazing pictures at sunset on the beach.

 

Anyways, the reason "How Great Is Our God" is so special to me, is that we sang this song, with the track, at the beginning of the ceremony. The wind was blowing, the spirit was moving, and I was holding back tears. God knew what He was doing all along and I knew my Dad was there in spirit. There aren't words to describe the joy that filled my heart that day and that continues to fill my heart as I watch the wedding video and think back to that day. God doesn't always answer prayer in our timing, but His ways are best. It just took a long time for me to get my "Happily Ever After". I'm blessed Mom could be at the wedding. Her cancer has since spread and is in her bones in addition to her stomach and bladder. She has fought this ugly disease for almost 12 years and is the strongest woman I know. I finally feel like I belong with Jonathan, who is in many ways, God in flesh to me, showing me daily what it's like to be loved unconditionally.

 

 

 

I invite you to visit my blog to learn more about me and see pictures of us! :) I will also post a link to the wedding video below so you can see us sing "How Great is Our God". Thank you Chris Tomlin for making our day even more special. There's nothing sweeter then singing that song in worship to our King, on the beach, with powerful winds, as you are about to marry the one God had planned for you all along! :)

 

 

My Blog: http://www.Jennifruit.blogspot.com

 

 

Our Wedding Website: http://www.mywedding.com/jenniferandjonathan2011/

 

 

Our Wedding Video: http://vimeo.com/27437017

 

 

God Bless You and Your Ministry! :)

 

 

 

Jennifer Stanley

South Bend, IN

 

 

What I've Learned In My 1st 95 Days of Marriage

     As you probably have already guessed after reading the Title of this post, we have been married for 95 days today!  :) Wow!  Time flies! In some ways I feel so comfortable with Jonathan that it feels like we have been together forever.  In other ways, I can't believe we've been married for over 3 months already!  I would be lying if I said this transition has been 100% smooth sailing.  After all, we are 2 human beings who only had to think about ourselves for years.  This isn't to say we were selfish people, it's just that we didn't have anyone else to consider in day to day living.  If I wanted to watch "The Notebook" on a Friday evening, I would watch "The Notebook". If Jonathan wanted to watch "Lord of The Rings", he would watch "Lord of The Rings.  We can still watch those movies, but now there is someone else's opinions/preferences to consider as well.  Jonathan turned 36 two days after the wedding.  I turned 37 in January. (I'm such a "cougar"!) We both had a long time to get "set in our ways".  All in all we are both very happy!  We are beginning our marriage on the foundation of the one who created marriage.  I think I appreciate Jonathan and my marriage to him so much more, simply because I had to wait for him for a very long time.  I know what it's like to be alone, to not be part of a family, to not have someone know if you live or die on your drive home.  Sad, but true.  Now I see clearly that God was preparing me for my "Mr. Right".  I'm learning that His ways are ALWAYS best.  He knows what is best for me.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Here are the Top 5 Things I've learned in My 1st 95 Days of Marriage (in no particular order):

1. I'm thankful for commitment.  The first 2 weeks after we moved into "our" new place were a bit rough.  We were both used to living alone.  We both, especially me, don't like change. There were many times that we butted heads.  It was in those times that I understood why the commitment of a marriage (till death do us part) is so important. God knows that too! :) I'm happy to say things are much better now that we've had more time to adjust!
2. If I'm focusing on something I think Jonathan needs to work on, I more than likely need to turn the focus back to what I can do to work on improving myself.  I can't control him, nor should I try to, but I should be focusing on how I can become a better person/wife, not focusing on what I "think" he needs to work on.
3. I'm learning balancing marriage with my social life is easier said than done. All of you singles out there know what I mean when I say singles can feel forgotten because their friends are so busy with their husbands and children.  I still don't fully understand how hectic life with children can be, but I do have more of an understanding of the fact that even in a marriage, there is less time to devote to friends.   Maintaining and growing our friendships with others is very important to both of us.  I'm very thankful for that!  Jonathan has his times with his guy friends, and I have my times with my girlfriends.  We also do things with other couples.  When I lived alone, I was texting/calling friends a lot more than I am now.  I finally feel like I belong.  I belong with Jonathan.  I'm still working at finding balance in time with Jonathan and time with friends.  It may be a little more challenging because we work such different work hours and only have 1 weekend off together a month. 
4. Sex is not as big of a part of a marriage as we both had made it out to be in our heads before we got married. Don't get me wrong, sex is wonderful and God's plan for marriage is best!  We are far from perfect, but with God's help, we both waited to have sex until after we were married.  Yes, I know this is practically unheard of now a days, but we are both glad we waited. When you feel you "can't have something (due to Christian beliefs"..ie...sex before marriage)"...it makes it that much more appealing.  All thru my 20's and 30's,  I hoped I would get married soon so I could have sex before Jesus came to take me home to heaven, whether at the end of the world, or thru death.  We both have said that we built it up so much in our heads, and gave it far too much importance prior to marriage.  It's an awesome part of marriage, but it's not everything. We are learning together and I'm thankful we don't have baggage to deal with in this area of our life together.
5. The financial aspect of our lives is SO much easier with 2 incomes and 1 rent.  This is NOT a reason to get married, but once you find the right one, this is a HUGE perk! :) I had NO idea how much easier it would be before I got married.  I had always supported myself and lived alone.  After we got married, I changed my marital status for my taxes.  I did not change the deductions, yet I am getting over $93.00 extra in my checks each month!  We are paying less on auto insurance due to the multi-car discount, we only have 1 rent to pay and we no longer have to save/pay for the wedding!  We just paid off the rings (no interest!) last weekend!  In less than a year we will be debt Free! :)  However, it is also important to note, that we both learned how to handle our finances and get a grip on them before we got married.   We are now tithing faithfully and can't wait to be debt free.