We Are Learning Each Other's Love Languages!

     Do you know what your significant other's love language is?  Do you know what your love language is?  If not, I think it is imperative to your relationship that you find out what each other's love language is!  We often communicate our love for others in ways that we like to receive love.  You may have the best of intentions, and be trying really hard to show someone how much they mean to you!  However, if how they receive love is different from how you are giving love, your significant other's love tank is not going to get filled up. This leaves him/her feeling unloved.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book, which I'm sure you have heard of. It's called "The 5 Love Languages".  The 5 Love Languages are:

1. Quality Time

2. Words of Affirmation

3. Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

     Your love languages can also change over time. I think Physical Touch was my primary love language when I wasn't dating anyone, because I wasn't getting many hugs, etc.  It was only a year ago that I found out "Gifts" were one of my top love languages. 

     Jonathan's primary love language is Physical Touch.  This isn't just referring to sex.  He loves hugs, hand holding, etc.  Jonathan feels loved when he is given physical touch. 

     My primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  Therefore, I tend to give words of affirmation to Jonathan.  If I don't give Jonathan physical touch, words of affirmation aren't going to make him feel loved.  I could compliment him till I'm blue in the face and he would like hearing it, but it's not going to make him feel nearly as loved as if I were to hug him.  He has come SO far in learning my love language!

     My second love language is Gifts.  However, I didn't know that gifts were one of my love languages until we didn't get each other anything for Christmas or Valentine's Day right after we got engaged. Let's just say we both learned from those days! :)  How could Jonathan know Gifts were one of my love languages, if I didn't even know?  I think that's often how we find out what our love languages are, when our needs are not met.  Now that Jonathan knows that gifts are my second love language, he can work at meeting that need, and he has been doing a wonderful job! :)  He got me these roses for our 1 year Engagiversary:

 He got me this beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas! :)

     And he got me these beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day, along with a water bottle and Season One of "Mike & Molly"!  This was my best Valentine's Day ever!  Thank you honey! :)  It's not about the money spent, it's about the thoughts, efforts, feelings that go into getting/giving the gifts!  Here is an awesome quote I saw this week on Facebook (It was a status of "Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married":

The important thing is not the gift, but the emotional love that is communicated by the gift...the gift is quickly gone but the memory lingers.

There is a 5 week love languages challenge going on, which I signed up for and was going to blog about.  However, it wasn't what I expected.  The first challenge it gave me, because Jonathan's love language is physical touch, was to read a book about sex and discuss it with Jonathan.  Jonathan thought that idea was not helpful either!  I thought it would give me daily reminders to hug him, kiss him etc.  Anways, that's why I decided to just blog about the 5 love languages! :)

I would like to know what your love language is.  I'm asking everyone who reads this blog to please take the love language quiz, and let me know what your top love language is! :)  All you need to do is click here, take the quiz and then comment back on my blog with your primary love language.  Please, for the sake of your relationships, if you have a significant other, ask them to take it as well!  You will learn a lot about each other, and what they need to feel loved by you. You will also learn ways that they may be showing you love, just not in the way that you need to be shown it.

Now, go show love to your neighbor, friend, spouse, parent, children, etc! :)  We all need to be shown love!

5 Reasons Why This Was My Best Christmas Ever!

1. It was my 1st Christmas married to Jonathan.   Thanks to Mom and Don for our "1st Christmas" ornament!  We have been married for 170 days today! We love being married, but most importantly we love being married to each other! We each had many lonely Christmases in the past.  We weren't lonely this year and for that we are both very thankful!  Jonathan's Dad told us yesterday that we are a "Match Made in Heaven". He's right! This kind of match could be nothing other than something orchestrated by the Creator of Love, God Himself.                                               
2. We have started our own Family Christmas traditions.  We love our families of origin and our extended family and we love to celebrate with them, but what was extra special about this year is that we started our own family traditions.  It's hard to start your own Christmas traditions as a single person, because your family of origin is your only family. We may not have children, but we do have our little family. We both agreed it was important to starts those traditions for our 1st married Christmas, because they get harder to change as the years pass.  It is important to us to see family, so this year we saw family on Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day was just us.  Our tradition is that we will spend 1 day with family and 1 day with just us.  I will touch on why this is important for me this time of year when I get to reason # 5.
3. We both put a lot of thought and effort into purchasing gifts for each other.  Last year we both asked each other what we wanted for Christmas, but we didn't really know, and neither of us ended up purchasing gifts for the other.  I didn't realize that "Gifts" was one of my top love languages until I didn't get anything from Jonathan.  This year, we both put a lof of effort into it, and the effort paid off.  It's not about the money spent, but rather about the effort put into making the other person feel special.  We were both successful at that this year!  It's fun to be someone's top priority when it comes to gift giving!
4. We have been blessed and therefore were able to bless others this Christmas.  Last year we started a tradition of helping those in need. and sponsored a family at the local homeless shelter.  This year my Small Group sponsored a family where a set of Grandparents are raising their 8 Grandchildren.  I got tired just reading their ages.  Jonathan and I contributed to making this family's Christmas more special. That's a good feeling!  We were also able to bless our nieces/nephews, parents, etc with gifts. For many years as a single person money was tight and on top of that I wasn't managing my money as well as we are now. I was often unable to give presents to family.  It feels good to be a blessing to others and we are thankful for how blessed we are!  We have no wedding to pay for and we have 1 rent instead of 2.  We are also down to 1 student loan and 1 car payment! All of these things sure make a huge difference!
5. My SAD is much more controlled this year.  December has been a hard month for me for as long as I can remember but especially since 12/8/1999 when my Dad passed away.  SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder which is also known as Winter Depression.  The symptoms start in early Fall and end when Spring begins. Some of the symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on or completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, social activities, and lack of interest in activities you typically enjoy during the spring/summer months.  For these reasons, Christmas isn't one of my favorite Holidays.  I am thankful to God for sending us our most important Gift of His Son Jesus!  However, Easter is my favorite Holiday because of the comfort of the Resurrection.  This Christmas has been my best Christmas Ever, and here are the  reasons why:  This year I have the stability/security of being married, I have been walking, I am on medicine that is controlling the depression/anxiety quite well.  Typically I cry a lot this time of year and withdraw from social activities because I just want to hibernate and be alone.  I'm happy to say I haven't really cried at all this year. I wish Christmas was in July, because then I would spend more time with my family of origin/extended family.  I still get stressed easily and this is another reason why Jonathan and I decided to start our tradition of spending either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day alone. Many love all of the hustle and bustle of seeing so many family members in a 2 day time frame.  In the Summer, I wouldn't give it a 2nd thought. I love spending time with friend's and family!   However, in the winter, I often lack the energy to do so and it's hard to be around groups of people when I'm not feeling very well. 

I want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year! 


Love,




Jen (& Jonathan)

The Gift

     In 9 days I will celebrate my first married Christmas with my husband Jonathan!  Today at work I heard the most AMAZING song on the radio!  It is by Collin Raye and Susan Ashton and it's called "The Gift"!  I've coined this as our Christmas love song! You can watch the video and lyrics belowif you'd like, or you can go here to view the lyrics. Thankfully Jonathan approves and agrees that it is a beautiful song! We are blessed beyond belief!  Obviously our most important Christmas gift is the birth of our Savior. He is the Reason for the Season!  

     I'm very much looking forward to our 1st married Christmas together!  In my many single years, I felt the loneliness of being single much more around the Holidays. We both spent many lonely Christmases in the past, and this makes us appreciate each other all the more!  I'm keenly aware of the fact that we live in a "couple's world".  It's unfortunate, because we are all unique individuals who should be accepted and acknowledged for who we are, not for what our marital status is!  Can I get an AMEN?! :)  I was a complete person before I met Jonathan, and I'm a complete person now, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm married!  Am I less lonely, yes! Do I feel a greater sense of peace and contentment, yes! Are there some things I miss about being single, there are a few things I suppose, but remember I had many years of the single life (which I enjoyed for the most part) and now I'm enjoying my married life with the man God sent to me in His perfect timing! :)  Did I doubt God would ever send me my "Mr. Right"?  Yep, sure did!  I didn't know if that was His plan for me or not.  Deep down I knew God had my best interest at heart, but I sure was lonely around the Holidays. 

     This year I'm thankful for the "The Gift" of my husband Jonathan and the love and bond that we share. Some may think this song is corny, but it touches my heart and I'm so thankful that regardless of if God blesses us with 5 married Christmases together on this earth or 50 married Christmase before He decides to call one or both of us home to heaven, what matters is that we get to spend THIS Christmas together. We will never again have a "1st Married Christmas Together". Jonathan is my 2nd most important Christmas gift. He would say the same about me and I'm more than OK with that!  :)

Jonathan, "I'm thankful EVERY day for The Gift"! :) 

Merry Christmas Baby! :)