Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I've been in a funk lately. It's just been a time in my life where I'm completely overwhelmed and wonder how much more I can handle! We've all been there at one time or another, often many times! Here are some of the reasons why I've been feeling overwhelmed and down:
- The production requirements at work are going up. I already work non-stop to hit the production numbers I'm required to hit, while having to maintain quality numbers as well. Knowing this is coming, has raised my level of stress. How can I do any more claims in one day? I need this job! There is no one to fall back on!
- It greatly concerns me that Mom's cancer spread even with chemo. She is currently undergoing more chemo and radiation, while working full time. She has a very positive attitude! I believe this fact plays a HUGE part in how she has been a cancer survivor and fighter for almost 10 years! Go Mom! Yeah God! :)
- My friend Mary got married to FM (my nickname for him) on August 1st! :) She moved to the Indianapolis area which is 3 hours from here. I'm so happy for them, but it's been an adjustment for me to not have her close by. Mary was my very first friend when I moved here 2 years (and almost 4 months ago). We have a lot in common and think a lot alike. I know God put us in each others lives at a time when we both desperately needed a friend. Thank you God! :) I know we will still be there for each other for years to come, but things change when someone moves. From my years of experience of having friends get married, I know that it also changes the dynamics of a friendship, as well it should. I look forward to visiting Mary and FM hopefully in October and I know God will provide more friends for me!
- I'm tired of doing life all alone! Granted I have friends and family that I "do life" with, but it's not the same! At the end of the day, it's just me. There is no one else to help w/ responsibilities such as oil changes, calls to insurance and medical providers, bills, household responsibilities, etc. Usually I'm fine being single. I have learned that the grass is not always greener and that I have God to rely on, but sometimes I get like this, where I just want a significant other to share life with. God spoke to me last night when someone on Twitter posted this quote from a book: "A romantic relationship,no matter how passionate, spontaneous,or exciting,can never complete you. Only God can do that." WOW! It was just the reminder I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it.
It's times like these that I feel God is trying to get it to sink into my very stubborn head, that He is in Control and I am NOT! He wants me to know that He loves me and that me not having a significant other is not a punishment! That's just what Satan wants me to believe. He has protected me from getting into/staying in unhealthy relationships. So right now, I'm going to focus on taking care of me and nurturing my relationship with my bestest friend Jesus! If you get a chance, check out youversion.com. It's a great way to read the Bible online.
I look forward to the time when things start to look up for me, but for now, I have lots to be thankful for and want to focus on becoming the person God wants me to be.
I'll end this post with what was my Dad's favorite portion of Scripture:
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.