A Work In Progress

A Work In Progress

Saturday, July 26, 2008

"Free" Internet Access May Have Come To A Halt!

The picture to your left describes the "internet withdrawal" that I have been experiencing the past 3 days! For the past 4 months I have been blessed to be able to access an unsecured wireless connection from home. We don't pay for Wi-Fi or Cable at home. Well, the last time I was able to get on the internet at home was Thursday afternoon. I found this pic and could so relate to seeing that "x" with the circle around it! I think God may be trying to tell me I need to make better use of my time!
So, if you don't see Twitter updates or frequent blogs, you know why! But, you know me, I will find a way to blog somehow! :) I'm currently at "The Beanery" Coffee Shop in Downtown Mishawaka ,which is only half a mile from the house that I am living in. It's a cool place! You should check it out! Have a great weekend everyone! :)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

This Made My Day!!!

I had a good day, but it got tons better when I got home and brought in the mail! I received a $50.00 gift card for gas! Of course that excited me! But then I read the letter:

"Thank you for your outstanding service over the past four months to Liberty Mutual. Your hard work and dedication has helped the company maintain its positive reputation. Please accept this gas card with our sincere appreciation."

It was a typed generic looking letter and I have no clue who sent it. I don't know if everyone gets one after four months of employment, or if there are certain criteria you have to meet in order to get one. What I do know is that I am seriously impressed, because this company shows their employees that they are valued! $50.00 might not seem like a lot for a huge and successful company to give away, but it means a lot to me to be shown that I am valued for my contributions to the organization. It can be really stressful to have to meet certain production levels, etc. They demand a lot out of their employees! But on days like today, I know that my hard work and dedication will pay off! I'm thankful that I work for a Company that understands how showing appreciation to their employee's will pay off for them in the long run! It's amazing to me that I continue to see blessing after blessing (like this one) since I started putting the Lord first in my financial life!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I Had A Great Day With Claye & Amaya!

Claye and Amaya are my roommate Alaina's nephew & niece. Claye is 10 & Amaya is 6. I hung out with them this afternoon while Alaina took their Mom to a Movie for her Birthday! We went on a long walk by the River and then stopped by Bonnie Doon's for some ice cream. We had a great time! It was a treat for all 3 of us! Claye kept telling me Thank you! :) They are both such sweet kids! Claye sure does love and protect his little sister! :)

Saturday, July 19, 2008

So Much To Be Thankful For!

Well, it's official, my 13 year old nephew is definitely taller than I am! :) There's no denying it any longer! He came down to Mishawaka from St. Joe, MI with his Mom & Dad to celebrate my Mom's Birthday at Red Lobster today (Saturday). I've been thinking today of how blessed we are to still have him with us! Last Summer was rough. Around the 4th of July we found out that Trey's heart had a birth defect which was not caught until he was almost 13 years old! For 2 months last summer he couldn't play any sports or be physically active at all until his open heart surgery. They couldn't get him in for surgery at the U of M until September 6th, so they had a very long summer. Here are my MySpace Blogs which I wrote the day of his surgery:

It’s 9:35am Eastern Time - 9/6/07 Good Morning! Two adorable 18 month twin girls were brought to Trey's room this AM to wake him up! :) It was after 8:00am when the surgeon came to talk to Trey with the relatives present, before he was taken to be prepped for surgery. Mom, Don, Eddie's Dad, sister & bro-in-law, me, and of course Pam & Eddie. The surgeon is very confident the birth defect can be fixed. He said there is a 98-99% chance there will be no severe complications. He said it is a rare condition, but extremely rare for someone of Trey's "old" age! Who would have ever thought that 12 would ever be considered old?! :) He said usually as a baby there is heart failure and other symptoms with this condition. We are so grateful to God for the fact that Trey's pediatrician caught this! I found out today that this pediatrician was supposed to retire three years ago, and we praise God that he hasn't retired as of yet! Pam & Eddie left Trey after the IV was started and he was dozing off. They were told it would be an hour and a half before all the tubes would be put in and they would start making the incision. We expect the surgery to begin by 10:30am EST and to last 3-5 hours. I am upstairs in the internet/communications room for friends and family. I will head back down to be with the family as surgery is scheduled to begin in a half hour to 45 minutes. Trey is a very brave kid. Pam thought it might hit him prior to surgery and that he would get upset, but he appeared to be cool as a cucumber still joking at times. Pam wasn't able to get connected to the internet yesterday so her updates were not current as of a few minutes ago. I will keep you updated as I know more. Have a great day! :)

1:00pm - September 6th, 2007
Trey is still in surgery and we are receiving updates every hour. At 10:40am they had started the surgery and were going to start putting him on the heart and lung machine. We were just updated for the 3rd time at 12:45pm. The surgery is going well and the surgeon is working on fixing the problem now. It sounds like they have to take material from the lining to construct a longer artery. My terminology may be off a bit as I am not knowledgeable regarding medical terminology. They mentioned something about the aorta also. The WELS Chaplain was visiting with us when we received this update. He appropriately read Psalm 40 to us and prayed for Trey. We asked if they knew how much longer the surgery would take. We were told approximately two hours. After surgery is over no one can see him for an hour. So, it sounds like it will be around 4:00pm EST before Pam & Eddie will be able to see him. Like Eddie's sister said, we don't care how long it takes, as long as the problem is fixed. I want to give updates to relatives and friends through this blog, but am also finding it to be therapeutic for me as well! Thanks for reading this! I'll write more later.

September 6, 2007 - Thursday Trey is out of Surgery! Trey's Surgeon came to tell us that the surgery was successful and Trey's heart is now back to working on it's own (as opposed to being on the heart and lung machine)! Needless to say we are now breathing a bit easier ourselves! This was at 3:15pm. He told us they would get Trey situated in the ICU and it should be 45min-1hr until Pam & Eddie could go see him. Eddie checked with ICU at 4:30pm and they said Trey was still sleeping and they are currently getting him cleaned up from the surgery. They said Pam & Eddie should be able to see Trey in 15-20 min. By the time Pam & Eddie see Trey, it will have been 8 hours since they left him. It's been a long day! Only 2 people can go into ICU at a time. Trey will be thrilled that they took pictures of his heart during the surgery!. This highly intelligent child is so curious! He fought the meds to stay awake yesterday during the catheterization and he watched it all on the monitor! He wants pictures for his scrapbook! He asked Pam to have the Dr.'s take pics during surgery...to which Pam said..Trey you can ask! He didn't ask, but when the surgeon told us they took pictures b/c of how rare this situation was, Pam couldn't wait to tell Trey. She knows getting to go home and see the pics via email will give him motivation to get well soon so he can see those! :) Pam will probably tell you in greater detail how his heart was making due before. He was a walking time bomb and we are truly blessed!! Hopefully Pam & Eddie are with Trey in ICU as I am typing this! The rest of us obviously have to take turns, but I look forward to seeing him soon! He will probably be in there for a few days. I am heading back down to the ICU waiting room, but will write more later! Please thank God for a successful surgery! =-)

July 19, 2008
Today, Trey is healthy and as physically active as ever! March '08 the Dr.'s gave him the green light to be able to participate in contact sports again. He's been to Basketball camps and everything! I'm sure his battle scar will one day (sooner than we think) impress the ladies! I am so thankful to God for sparing Trey's life! It truly was a modern day miracle! I'll never forget the day of his surgery and seeing him in ICU, and I hope that I never stop thanking God for protecting Trey, especially during his first 13 years of life!
Trey's website is http://www.treysmithracing.com/. Check it out!
I love you Trey!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Gelato Anyone?

Gelato is Italian ice cream made from milk and sugar, combined with other flavorings. The gelato ingredients (after an optional pasteurization) are frozen while stirring to break up ice crystals as they form. Like high-end ice cream, gelato generally has less than 35% air, resulting in a denser and more flavourful product.

The first time I had Gelato was while dining out with Allyson, Kelly & Jeannine when I lived in Milwaukee. I believe it was at the "Twisted Fork" Restaurant. Gelato is more expensive then ice cream, but incredibly delicious!

I was seriously impressed when I found this place today! I guess they just opened 3 weeks ago. This is the type of place you would find in a large and trendy City! Granger/Michiana has come a long way baby!

My New Favorite Song!

On Father's Day I blogged about how my Dad used to always say "This is the Day the Lord has made! We will Rejoice and be glad in it!" Well exactly one week after I posted that blog, I was driving home from my friend's wedding in WI and heard this song on the Radio! I felt like God was talking to me through this song. There is no such thing as a coincidence where God is concerned! At the time I didn't know who sang it, but I looked it up on the internet when I got home. I wasn't surprised that Lincoln Brewster came out with another awesome song! If you wish, you can listen to the new song below. It's a catchy tune with a great message! Enjoy and remember that TODAY IS THE DAY! :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Blogger's Block

The Author of this Cartoon gives his permission for readers to repost his cartoons! This one reminds me of myself the past few days! My goal is to post at least 1 blog per day. However, sometimes I can't think of anything to blog about. So, I've decided that it's better to blog when I'm inspired and feel like it, than to just blog for the sake of blogging. For the most part I get inspired to blog frequently! I've just been battling "blogger's block" the past few days! I thought I came up with this phrase myself, but I googled it, and it's already out there! I just want to let everyone know that if I don't post for a day or two now and then, I promise I'm still alive and kicking in the blogosphere! Thank you to all of my faithful readers out there! I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my blog! :)

Monday, July 14, 2008


He has made everything beautiful in it's time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

These are some flowers (bright yellow) that are right outside of Liberty Mutual on Lincolnway. Aren't they beautiful? I took this picture on July 10th. At the beginning of spring, who knew they would bloom to be so beautiful? It kind of reminds me of how we as individuals are in a constant state of growth to become even more beautiful.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Sunday, July 13, 2008


Sorry this is a short blog tonight, but wanted to post some food for thought before I hit the hay!

I've learned a lot about not being able to change other people this past year. The only person we can change, with the help of God, is ourselves!

"If you can’t change someone else eventually you’ll have to change yourself." Joyce Meyer

The DQ Adventures of Jen Squared!

Jen & I planned to meet at Church to go to the 7:30 service tonight. Her friends from Muskegon MI ended up joining us. It's funny b/c that's the area I've been interested in going to for a little vacation someday! Now I have connections to check with first for the lowdown prior to booking any hotel rooms, etc! Plus I could give advice to them because 1 or both of them are considering moving to Milwaukee! Anyways, the Church Service was Awesome! Afterwards, Jen Squared went to Dairy Queen with Mike & Scott from Muskegon. We shared lots of laughs and had a great time! I can't think of all of the funny moments off of the top of my head, but I do know that my hair was shedding! Thankfully this happened after we were done eating! I found out that Muskegon men do know how to use cell phones to take pictures after all! =-) Just kidding! The pic of me and Jen turned out great! Thanks Scott! Jen & I didn't even plan to wear the same color top, but don't we look cute? It must be the name! :) Thanks for a great evening everyone! I hope you guys made it back to MI safely!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Jesus Statue Is Missing Right Hand!

Today I went to Chapel Hill Memorial Gardens to visit my Dad's grave site. It was a beautiful day! The pic of the open Bible with verse is part of his tombstone. I saw a Jesus statue from afar and took a walk over to see it. It's on a platform and is very tall. Therefore the pic turned out great! Isn't it cool how Jesus is up in the beautiful sky amongst the clouds? His arms are open as if He is saying non verbally to all passers by, "Come onto me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest!". He does say that to you and to me everyday. He wants to carry our burdens for us. The poor Jesus statue is missing a hand! :( But our Jesus is Mighty to Save! :)

7/9/08 AM Pics Taken in West Allis WI

See Ryan looking on from behind? I think he wants to play Football with Tyler! Ryan is 18 months old and my sister watches him during the day Mon-Wed. During the school year she has 2 other kids, plus Ryan, plus her own 3 children! I couldn't do it, nor would I want to!
Hannah - Arts & Crafts - Summertime Fun!
Lexi - Arts & Crafts - Summertime fun!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Something Beautiful from our Grief

"God does not waste an ounce of our pain or a drop of our tears; suffering doesn't come our way for no reason, and He seems especially efficient at using what we endure to mold our character. If we are malleable, He takes our bumps and bruises and shapes them into something beautiful."

Frank Peretti, The Wounded Spirit

"There is a saying that says: "Minor surgery is what happens to you and yours. Major surgery is what happens to me and mine." When it happens to you, it isn't minor."
Chaplain Norris Burkes

I found the two quotes above on the internet tonight. I find them both to be true! It's human to consider things to be harder/more major when they are happening to us. Just like Cancer, we all hear the word everyday, but until it hits you or someone you love, it's just that, a word and a disease that "happens to other people and their loved ones".

I've heard of grief described as a deep wound that eventually scabs over. Sometimes that scab gets scratched and it hurts again, or sometimes that scab falls off, and we feel the deep wound all over again.

I have felt that deep wound all over again the past few days. I've been to quite a few funerals since my Dad's funeral which was on December 11th, 1999 (8 years and 7 months ago tomorrow). I've attended viewings of parents of friends of mine and given them support. I have a very close friend who lost her Father a year before I lost mine. We met 6 months after my Dad died. This time, it's happening right now to an already close friend of mine who is experiencing the loss of her earthly Father. His funeral was yesterday in WI. Sometimes the wound hurts all over again , even when you thought it was all scabbed over and fine. This is one of those times for me. My heart aches for my friend because I know the pain she is experiencing. Although everyone experiences grief differently, her situation is quite similar to my situation. She is 27. She is the oldest child of 4. Her youngest brother is 20. Her earthly Father was called home to heaven at the age of 54. I was a month away from turning 26. My earthly Father was 59. I am the oldest child of 3. My youngest sister was 21. I wish she didn't have to experiencing this life changing pain, but God in His infinite wisdom wanted her Father to come home.

When I come home to Heaven
How joyful it will be!
For on that day at last
My risen Lord I'll see.
No greater happiness

than to see Him face to face,
To see the love in His eyes
and feel His warm embrace.
Then why should earthly care

weigh down upon me so?
They'll be a distant memory
when home at last I go.
Author Unknown

This Poem was a great comfort to me immediately following my Dad's Death. It still is! I have a picture (like the one above) with this poem right beneath it, in a frame. As Christians, our goal is to go home to Jesus! Brenda's Dad got to go home to Jesus on Saturday. He had the opportunity to see his daughter get married exactly 2 weeks before he went home! I'm happy for him. I'm happy for my Dad. The pain never really goes away. Life just somehow goes on and memories are formed without that loved one. We never stop missing those who go on before us, and that void can never be filled by anyone else. Only Jesus can heal our broken hearts.

As Frank Peretti states above, God does not waste our pain, or our tears. I know that my pain has not been wasted. Although being there for Brenda is bringing up painful memories of when my Dad died, I believe He has used my pain to mold me into who I am today. I also believe He will use my pain so that I can be a supportive friend and a source of comfort and encouragement to Brenda. We won't know the answers to our "why" questions until we go home to heaven. I do know that God has great plans for Brenda and that He will continue to hold her close as she mourns the loss of her Dad. I believe He is still shaping my bumps and bruises into something beautiful, even if they still hurt at times like these.

"For I know the plans I have for you...Plans to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11

I Made It Home Safely!

Hi Everyone! It's 2:02 AM. I just wanted to let everyone know I made it back safely from Newburg WI in 4.5 hours. I left Newburg WI at 8:55 PM IN time. No speeding tickets this time! WOO HOO! :) I'm so glad I could be there for my friend! Please pray for Brenda and her family as they try to return to their routines, which will now be anything but "normal" after the loss of her Dad. Please pray that they will be comforted in knowing their Dad/Husband is free from pain and safe with Jesus. I'll try and post a blog tomorrow night, but I gotta get to bed, gotta be up for work at 8:00 AM. Good Night! :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Today I had a tough decision to make, but I'm confident I made the right one. When I got home from work last night, I had an email from my friend Brenda informing me her Dad had passed away on Saturday. I attended her wedding 2 weeks ago Saturday. The funeral is Wednesday, July 9th in WI, 50 minutes North of Milwaukee. I called her as soon as I got the email to let her know I would be praying for her and that I'm here for her whenever she needs a friend to talk to. Most of you know that my Dad passed away 8 1/2 years ago. I know how hard the loss of a close loved one can be, and I can relate to what Brenda is going through right now. I told her I would be there for her at the funeral in a heartbeat, but that I couldn't get off of work. At my place of employment, you basically need to put your request in 3 months ahead of time. If you have an unplanned absence, you get points taken away, even if you have the vacation time. Well, I got to work this morning and thought it couldn't hurt to ask if I could get tomorrow off of work. I was told there was no open time off, all of the spots were taken. I agonized about this most of the day. I didn't want points taken off (10 points per occurrence), but I wanted to be there to support my friend. I talked to my Supervisor at the end of the day and explained that I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. I told her I am not the type of employee to call off. She told me that is the reason the points are there. She understood, and told me she would want to be there for her friend. I knew I wouldn't be able to get a lot done at work on Wednesday. I also knew that I would regret not going, but when the regret came, it would be too late to do anything about my decision. I do have a 3 pt work/life balance coupon, so I will only have 7 points deducted. I've earned points for a few months of perfect attendance. So basically I will have 45.5 points left when I started with 50. I can earn back 2 points/month with perfect attendance. Like a very wise friend told me, after I made my decision; 10 years from now the important thing will be that I was there for my friend, not that I got points taken off. My Supervisor said my Job was nowhere near being in Jeopardy. I think you get a warning if you drop down to 0 points. So I'm going to drop this perfectionist way of thinking and focus on being there for my friend. It's a quick trip, but I won't regret being there for her. The scripture that I always think of when friends of mine lose a parent is "Comfort each other with the comfort you yourselves have received from God." I don't have a Bible handy right now as I'm at my sister's, and her Bible is upstairs, so I'm not sure which verse that is. What I do know is that I hope and pray God will use me to be a source of comfort for my friend during one of the hardest times in her life. Please keep Brenda & Dan in your prayers. Little did they know 2 weeks ago, that the "worse" part of their vows would come so early on in their marriage. I know God will be there to strengthen and uphold them! God never breaks His promises! :)

Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm a Runner

You probably read the title to this blog and said "I didn't know Jen ran, in fact, she doesn't strike me as the Athletic type at all!" Well, you would be correct, I do not run athletically!

It took me 33/34 years to realize I'm a runner. I've tried to run from myself all of these years. It also took me 33/34 years to realize that I CAN'T run from myself and my problems, no matter how hard I try! Even though I've learned this truth about myself, I still need others to point it out to me when that's what I'm doing. I'm thankful that my Women's Small Group last evening pointed this out to me, in a very loving way! I missed the past 2 weeks of this Small Group, and I could really tell that I needed to "get grounded" again. I didn't even recognize that I was trying to run again, until it was pointed out to me. Then I had another "AHA" moment.

I haven't felt happy the past few weeks and I wanted to plan a get-away in August to get away from it all. Externally things in my life are great! I have a steady income, good job, great friends and family, etc. It's inside, that I'm not feeling happy at all. I was just getting a bit ahead financially where I was going to be able to take a mini-vacation. However, on my way back from Fort Wayne, IN yesterday afternoon, I got a speeding ticket. I was so mad at myself and cried a lot. This was just the "straw that broke the camel's back". It's this discontentment inside of me that makes me think my problems are external, when they are not. What am I running from? I'm not entirley sure! If I had that all figured out and dealt with, I probably wouldn't be trying to run anymore! So anyways, I think this "getting caught speeding" thing was God's way of telling me not to run away. A few people also pointed out that maybe the speeding ticket was God's way of preventing a tragedy from occurring. In the grand scheme of things, it could have been much worse!

I do have 3 work days off at the end of August, but I think I'll stick close to home, and not run. I'll continue to pray that God helps me to deal with what I need to deal with, and not try to run! He's not letting me run anymore! :)

I'm SO VERY thankful for my Sunday evening Women's Study Group! You know who you are! I know I've grown a lot over the past few months, but I have a long ways to go! I'm so glad we are on this Journey together! :) Please keep holding me accountable!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

My Lifelong Friend

The first pic is of Steph, the 2nd pic is of Steph and her kiddos, and the third pic is of Zoya the dog! Darren was out mowing the lawn when I was taking these pictures. Steph and I have been friends since we were 5 years old! We can go years, and we literally have gone years without seeing each other, and when we get together, it's like time hasn't passed. That's when you know it's a true friendship. I'm thankful we got to go to Starbucks alone and just hang out and catch up on the happening's in each other's lives! We also watched "Bucket List" last night about 2 male friends! Good movie, but I cried! Thanks for a great weekend Steph! Let's not go 3 1/2 years without seeing each other this time, k?! :)

Saturday, July 5, 2008

I'm in Fort Wayne, IN!

I drove down to Fort Wayne, IN this morning to visit my friend Steph and her family. Fort Wayne is only about an hour and 45 min from where I live. Steph and I have been friends since we were 5 years old! We grew up together in South Bend, IN and when we were 14, her family moved to Fort Wayne. Steph now has 3 kids of her own! She wouldn't let me take pics of her today, so I'll post pics of her tomorrow, but here are pics of her kids. Kids love me because I am able to give them undivided attention when I visit, because I'm just visiting and have nothing else to do! Jacob turned 9 on the 4th of July! Jonathan is 5 1/2 and Samantha turned 4 in May! She LOVES to talk! :)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of July!!!

This one's for you Mary! =-) Well, there is still half an hour left of July 4th, 2008! I worked from 8am-4:15pm! Yeah for making double time & a half! :) Then I had a great evening with Mary, our friend Pam, and Mary's family. Here are some pics taken this afternoon/evening at Mary's parents house. The 4th of July is Mary's Mother's Birthday, so it's an even bigger day at their house! :) Her parents live on the River, aren't these views amazing?! They only live 1.5 miles from me! Enjoy the pics and I hope everyone had a fun and relaxing 4th of July! :)

Food For Thought

More quotes from today's "Revive Our Hearts" with guest Amy Baker:

  • If you expect people to meet needs that only God Himself can meet, that puts you in a place of inevitable disappointment.

  • Be the kind of friend to someone else that God has been to you. Then watch how God will meet your needs as you meet the needs of others.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Gift of Singleness

I listen to a Christian speaker on the radio named Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The local radio station which I tune into to hear her is 104.7 WFRN in Elkhart, IN. I love her heart for God! In fact,
one of my favorite quotes was taken from Nancy; Life is tough, but God is faithful!

Anyways, I had my earphones in at work today and her program "Revive Our Hearts" happened to be on the radio. Today she briefly mentioned the fact that she is single. I have listened to her for over a year now and never knew this fact about her. So, tonight I decided to find her website. The website is reviveourhearts.com. I found the transcripts from an interview she did with Carolyn McCulley (another single woman) on 6/25/07. I LOVE what Carolyn says about Singleness! It really puts things into perspective:

Carolyn McCulley: We’re not going to get to Heaven and have the Lord look at us and say, “Great! You finally flapped over the finish line of marriage. I’m so proud of you!”It’s going to be irrelevant. What we’re going to be commended for is whether or not we faithfully stewarded what He gave us. That is why we’re going to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” It’s not going to be because we did or we did not get married. That is a short gift for this age, and it will not be repeated again in Heaven. While our church is rightly swimming against the culture in reclaiming the high value of marriage—in promoting the high value of marriage within in churches—we singles need to remember, that is just one avenue the Lord uses in glorifying Himself and in sanctifying us and conforming us to the image of His Son.

Here is are more words from Carolyn McCulley:
"If God is sovereign and in control of our lives, His purpose and plan is being worked out. If that is true, then my singleness is not an accident, and my singleness is not without purpose."
".....But if your focus is on glorifying God and building up His church and seeing the gospel advanced—and those are big phrases, and they are big concepts, and they’re hard to break down. But on a day to day basis, the Lord brings people across your path who need to be encouraged and served and loved. When your focus is there, then the desire for being married is diminished just a little bit because you’re finding fulfillment in God’s purpose and these other relationships. "
This was also on Nancy's website. She is not sure where she found it, but it's an awesome declaration.
Declaration of Acceptance and Surrender

God is my Heavenly Father. He is the all-wise One who controls all things. His essence is love and His desire is for my good. Since He is loving enough to desire only good for me, wise enough to plan just what is best, and powerful enough to accomplish what His love and goodness have planned, how can I lack any good thing?

It is to Him that I make unconditional surrender of all that I am and all that I have. I belong to Him. Especially do I now present to Him all my normal desires to be married and to have a husband and family, realizing that He knows what is best for my life. I acknowledge that God has met my needs in the past and has taken care of me thus far without the benefits and enjoyment of a husband. I fully accept the fact that I am single as God's will for me at this point in my life, realizing it is for my good and for His glory.

Therefore, I yield to God my right to be married. He will not "withhold any good thing from me," and if He does not give me the gift of marriage, I will know that He has a higher purpose in mind.
I further acknowledge that my future belongs to God. I trust His wisdom, knowing that His plan for my life will be the most fulfilling to me and pleasing to Him. I purpose to seek fulfillment in Him alone, realizing that He is able to meet and control my desires--spiritual, emotional, and physical. I also purpose to refuse any thoughts of self-pity, jealousy, or resentment which could creep in when I do not understand His way with me now or His intention for the future.

"Lord, I make this declaration before you. I need your help to be true to this commitment and to make me immediately aware of the slightest deviation. Help yourself to my life--giving or withholding marriage--whatever you choose. Thank you for being good and trustworthy. Thank you for your love for me and for your good purpose for my life. In Jesus' name, Amen."

--Source Unknown
So, how do I personally know that I have the gift of Singleness? Well, because this is the gift God has given me for this season of my life. There are many blessings and challenges in the life of a single person, and there are many blessings and challenges in the life of a married person. I just know that I want to put God's will for my life above my own will for my life. He knows what's best for me. So, whether single or married, I just want to do His will and bring glory to Him.

Wish I was here!

Well, I won't be on the beach by an ocean, but I'm thinking of taking an overnight trip somewhere on the western shore of Lake Michigan sometime in the next few months. I just want to get away from it all to recharge. Everyone needs time to recharge. Gotta see if I can work it out with the budget! Overtime is being offered again, so I'm taking it! Plus I volunteered to work on July 4th since we earn double time and a half on that day! I haven't flown, or gone outside of IN/WI (and surrounding areas) in 2 years! I've matured, and have become much more responsible with my finances, including putting God first! I have a long ways to go in learning to manage my money responsibly, but with God's help, I've also come a long way from where I used to be. I'll keep you posted on my possible destination and if it works out or not. But for now, I can dream can't I? =-)