2017 - A Year of Great Change and Personal Growth

One would think that 2016 would have been our year with the most change.  I mean, we bought a house and adopted a "special needs" rescue dog!  Well, 2017 was equally a huge year of change for us, but it had a much more profound affect on my view of life.  Financial Security is something I didn't have until after I got Married and we got debt free a year later.  Then we saved and traveled, and finally bought our 1st home on April 8th of 2016.  The Blessing is that since I didn't have credit cards, my Name is on the Title, but it is not on the loan.  My Income didn't count when it came to purchasing our home.  We lived below our means, including the size/price of house we chose to buy.  Jonathan could have been approved for a more expensive house, but we didn't want to be "house poor".  

I started babysitting at the age of 12 and started buying my own clothes then.  I started working at at 16.  I worked in college, over breaks, and during the summers as well.  I started working Full Time as soon as I graduated college.  Besides for a total of 9 months throughout the years, I have always been employed Full Time.  I waitressed for 6 Months before I was finally given a job offer at LM. My job at LM was there when I needed it.  They have amazing benefits, etc.  I met my Husband there.  I will be eternally grateful that I was hired there and found Love (and Friendship) at LM!    This job was there for me when I needed it and I was employed for 9.5 years.  That's a long time for me.  The detailed work was so me, but the putting in headphones and focusing and sitting at a desk 37.5 hours a week was not a good fit for this Extrovert.  But I stayed where life was "safe and comfortable and secure".  I mean after all, I was making GOOD Money.  

Something wasn't right though.  I constantly sat there obsessing about my Mom's cancer, my BIL's Cancer, my Step Dad's Grand Mal Seizure.  All heavy stuff, right?  Well my mind literally could not stop obsessing.  Part of the reason being, was if my Family needed me and I left work 3 hours early, I would get a full incident against me.  It would be as if I hadn't shown up for work at all that day.  After like 5.75 incidents you get a verbal warning, and the consequences got stiffer the more incidents you got.  FMLA is only used for your own medical condition, or if you are the primary caregiver for a relative.  I couldn't get FMLA when Jonathan's Dad was sick and dying.  There were other Family issues that were going on at the same time too.

It all caught up to me, and I just couldn't do it anymore.  I saw my Counselor.  I saw my Dr, who I ended up firing, and I fought for my mental health.  I was on Short Term Disability, but after a short while, my Husband and I came to the conclusion, that what was best for me, was for me to resign from my job at LM.  It took 3 months to get in to see a Psych NP.  My new MD made some med changes, but my Psych NP actually put me on Aderall.   Yes, at the age of 43 I was diagnosed with ADD.  My Husband was very surprised how productive I was at home during the day.  You know why?  Because I'm a hard worker, but my ADD made it nearly impossible to focus at a desk job, not talking to people.  When it came to running errands, making appointments, etc, I was uber productive.  And you know what?  I didn't obsess about all of the cancer and illness in my Family.  I was too busy to obsess.  

It was a very long Summer waiting for approval for my STD after every Dr Appt.  Always being afraid it would be denied.  Psych issues are treated so much differently than physical issues.  I know this is 2017.....2018 in a few hours, but it's true.  I was only on STD for less than 3 months when my Husband and I reached the decision, that I needed to quit my job.  It wasn't for me.  It didn't fit my personality.  It didn't allow for me to leave and be there for my Family if they needed me.  It didn't allow for me to call in sick when I could hardly function, not if I wanted to keep the job.  I resigned as soon as we made the decision.  I resigned on August 21st and I haven't once regretted my decision.  Even my Husband says we don't really miss my income.  Why?  Because we live below our means.  My Husband is Happier.  I am Happier.  If my Sister in WI needs me, I can drive to WI.  If my Mom or Grandma need me, I can be there for them, without receiving an incident.

Lessons Learned in 2017...I mean REALLY Learned:

1.  Peace is more important than Money.

2.  Family comes first...before Money..before a Job.

3.  It takes a leap of Faith and Trust in God, but He will provide.  No...please don't quit your job if you live alone and say....well Jen said......!  I supported myself for years.  I am the saver in our relationship.

I am Happy..  I am at Peace.  I was Diagnosed with ADD.  I am a hard worker.

I started my small business called J-La-Sta's Thrifty Threads on September 26th of 2017.  I love bargain hunting!  I love meeting new people.  I love serving others.  I love having a more flexible schedule where Family comes first.  I am not making anywhere near the amount of money I made working Full Time at Liberty, but you know what?  2017 taught me that Peace is FAR more important than money!  My security rests in my Savior, not in LM, and not in the Money I received from LM.  I work my butt off now.  I may not get the same amount of money, but this job fits the flexible lifestyle I need and want now.  Thank you Jonathan, for letting me quit LM and for realizing it was the best move for us!  I Love You! :-)

I also learned that I'm stronger than I think I am.  Being mentally ill, and having sick Family Members, one learns who their true Friends are.  Thank you to those who were there for me during one of the darkest and most challenging times in my life.  Please fight for yourself and your health, because no one else will.  I had to fight hard for months to get the care I need, when I barely had the energy to get out of bed.  I had a MD (after I told her I couldn't function and I was crying in front of her nonstop) say to me "So you are going back to work tomorrow right?"  Even if your Dr doesn't get it, keep fighting to get the help you need.

Peace and Happiness are Far More Important than Money.  I am Blessed.  We are Blessed.  I've only been running my small business for 3 months, but I hope to continue to grow it in the future.  I'm a hard worker, just a hard worker with ADD and an Extroverted Personality.  I did what I had to do when I had to do it, for 9.5 years, and now......I'm doing what I GET to do.

My Goals for 2018 are to grow my Business and to lose weight I gained as a result of giving into cravings caused by new meds.  I want to be healthier again.  However, I have also learned that my weight doesn't define me.

Happy New Year Everyone!  I Hope that 2018 is a Year Full of Happiness and Blessings Beyond Measure for you!

~ J-LaSta

Dear December, I'm Starting To Like You! :)

Hello December,

I honestly don't remember a time when I didn't dread your coming, and did anything other than merely survive your visit!  I've never been a fan of cold weather, but the darkness your weather brings, does not help my situation.  It exacerbates my depression and it makes me want to hibernate, sleep, and eat cookie dough, LOTS and LOTS of cookie dough!  Oh, and I did spend many a December eating lots and lots of cookie dough!   It helped me feel better in the moment, but made me feel worse long term as my pant size kept moving up and up. 

Fourteen years ago something happened during your annual visit, that hurt me so very deeply and changed me forever.  My life would never be the same. Nor would I.  December 8th, 1999 my earthly Dad passed away.  He was 59 years old.  My Mom was now a 47 year old widow.  While the majority of my friends were  (and some still are) losing their Grandparents to death, I was experiencing the loss of my Dad.  I was 25 years old. My two Sisters were 24 and 21 years old.  

December of 1999 I was single and still trying to find my place in life.  I was still figuring out who I was.  Looking back, the new and improved 39 year old version of me sees that I was "just a baby" back then!  Since 1999, I have quite honestly hated you December! I'm just being real!  We were all still numb and in shock when Christmas Day came, just 2 weeks after Dad's funeral.  We, of course celebrated Christmas, but we were all just going thru the motions.  I was living in Wisconsin at the time.  I spent many a night alone and crying in my Apartment in Cudahy, WI.  

So now you know why I hated December, if you didn't already know!  It's the darkest month (I get Seasonal Affective Disorder), my Dad passed away in December right before Christmas, and being single for as long as I was, my singleness was only accentuated around the Holidays.  December used to only mean darkness, sadness, and loneliness for me.

Eleven years would pass before I would experience one of the happiest moments of my life, which happened to be in December.  December 10th, 2010 my now Husband Jonathan, asked me to marry him!!! :)  I of course said YES! :)  Here's a pic taken by my friends Chris and Holly the night of our engagement! :)

For the first time in eleven years, I had a happy event happen in my life in the darkest month of the year!  Thanks for that, Jonathan! :) We were Married on July 8th, 2011 and Christmas 2011 and 2012 we started making our own traditions.   I finally felt like I belonged and I finally had my Family! :)  He is my earthly rock! :)

Today is February 1st, 2014, and I just realized I never finished/posted this blog! Oops!  Better late than never, right?! :)  Anyways, last year (Dec of 2012), we had our 1st Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st.  I decorated with cheery, bright yellow decorations, and we celebrated the darkest day of the year with friends, knowing that from that day forward, we would be gaining daylight minutes!  YAY!! Now that's a reason to celebrate!  We had our 2nd Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st, 2013 and it was again, a huge success.  Everyone had a wonderful time, especially me! :)

The Winter Solstice Party Peeps, minus Matt, the Picture Taker (He didn't want to be in the pic anyways)!


 

Jonathan and I had a wonderful Christmas!  We spent Christmas Eve at my Sister's in St. Joseph, MI with immediate family.  It was great to be with Mom, Don, Grandma, and my Sister's and their Families (and of course my Hubs too!)! :)

Me and My Mom!



Me and My Hubby!

Christmas Day it is our tradition for it to be just us, hanging out at home together, with nowhere to be!  It was wonderful, as always! 

I also had lots of countdowns going on in December for my 40th Birthday, 40th Birthday Party, and our trip to Aruba (all in January). 

So, December, even though you still aren't my favorite month, I have to admit that I'm starting to like you, and making the most of your visit! :) 

See you in 10 months! :)

Love,


J-La-Sta

Weight Watchers Plus Determination Equals The Incredible Shrinking Couple! :)

1.  He Loves Me!  My Husband loves me so much that he started walking/losing weight with me after my pre-diabetes diagnosis in February of 2012.  He said he knew that it would be easier for me to change my habits if we both changed them together.  That is love!  In January of 2013 when I decided I wanted to join Weight Watchers Online, he decided to also join Weight Watchers Online the very next day! Even though he gets to eat more than me, it is SO MUCH easier navigating this weight loss journey with both of us being on the same page!  We are Blessed! :)

2.  We Are Determined!  When we say we are going to do something, we usually do it.  I am typically a woman of my word and he is typically a man of his word!  My Goal is to reach 135 lbs by my 40th Birthday!  Jon's goal is to reach 190 lbs and be below 200 lbs for the first time in his adult life!  Jon is currently 78 lbs lighter than our wedding day (July 8th, 2011).  Wow!  He is amazing!  I am currently 52.4 lbs lighter than I was on my 38th Birthday (January of 2012).  Jon has 21 lbs to go to reach his goal and I have 21.6 lbs to go to reach my goal.  We can and will do this!

Top: Jen on Jan 2nd, 2012 at 209 lbs/Jen on Aug 31st, 2013 at 156.6 lbs
Bottom: Jon (243 lbs) & Jen (189.1 lbs) on Jan 4th, 2013/Jen (156.6 lbs) & Jon (211 lbs) on Aug 31st, 2013

3.  Our Success Is SO MUCH More Than A Number!  Yes, It's true, the number on the scale tells us how much we weigh.  It is a good guide to go by when trying to get healthier, but it's not the only guide.  We are eating healthier, we are fitting into smaller clothes, we have gained some muscle, and we feel so much better about ourselves!  Partly, because we are accomplishing something we didn't think we could accomplish before.  We know we are getting healthier, and losing weight the right way. We LOVE FOOD.  We LOVE food that is bad for us!  We are REAL people who have real struggles.  We don't have a personal chef or personal trainers.  If we can lose weight, anyone can!  I kicked pre-diabetes to the curb, and THAT FACT is more important than any number the scale tells me! :)

4.  My Husband Goes On Hikes With Me!  I love him!  I married him for love.  I married him because I knew God made us for each other.  Did I ever think he would go on hikes with me?  No.  I honestly didn't.  Did I want him to?  Yes.  God is SO GOOD.  He has blessed me with more than I could have ever imagined!  I believe God is making us even more compatible with each other though our weight loss journey.

5.  I Will Be Extra Fabulous at Forty!  I seriously am looking forward to this next decade of my life!  I will be starting it off in ARUBA with my HUSBAND, at my goal weight!  I never would have thought I'd be at this point in my life (Married AND going to ARUBA!) if you would have asked me 6 years ago.  God's plans are always Best!  Even if I look good enough to wear a bikini, I won't wear a bikini.  I have 5 surgery scars from my gallbladder removal just 6 months ago.  I'll wear a Tankini and look just as fabulous!

6.  Weight Watchers Works For Us!  Weight loss is one of those very personal issues that a person has to want to do on his/her own.  Did people tell me I should eat healthier and lose weight before?  Yes!  Was I ready to listen?  No!  But when I decided I WAS going to lose the weight and get healthier, nothing could stop me!  Well, I've had hiccups...like gaining 7.6 lbs on our Anniversary vacay.  It's not always smooth sailing.  We are human.  But we just keep on keeping on and persistence and following the Weight Watchers Points is giving us results.  Sometimes not as quickly as we'd like to see them, but we are seeing results.  I can now see pictures of myself and say...I sure look good!  I have gained confidence and pride in knowing that I am doing what I said I would do.

I'll post again when we get to our goal weights.  In the meantime, if you have any questions, about Weight Watchers, just let me know!  I will always need the boundaries of weight watchers.  I love food too much to not have the boundaries weight watchers provides in our lives.

Facebook Is My Crack - My New Plan Of Attack!

Hello, My Name Is J-La-Sta and I am a

 

I'm sure this admission comes as no surprise to the majority of my FB followers.  Before FB, I was addicted to Internet dating.  Yes, I am now a Married woman.  No, I am NOT still addicted to Internet dating!  I don't think that would sit too well with my Husband, and understandably so! :-) 

 

• I am a very social person, so it is not surprising that I would be addicted to social media.  However, I've come to realize this about social media and in my case, Facebook:

 

In doing research on social media/facebook addiction, I've read that FB can be more addicting than drugs and alcohol.  I believe that, because it is for me!  But just as stated in the pic above, FB makes you feel that you're connecting with people when actually you're just not.  I agree that it is a form of connection with people you probably do know, or have known in real life, but it is no replacement for real human interaction, real human relationships.  

 

We've become a society that's so reliant on technology we've forgotten how to communicate with each other.We need to be not ruled by social networks. We need to go out there and actually connect to the world around us. Technology has made our life easier, but it's stopped us from connecting.We've become a disposable society; a society where relationships are no longer important. We basically use people as we use phones. We have one year contracts. It's time for us to really connect again because the world is becoming a disconnected place, right when we need each other most.  David Wygant

 

For the past few years now I've felt as if many people know what's going on in my life, without much effort on their part, because I post a lot of status updates on FB.  However, it takes more effort on my part to find out what is going on in their lives because they don't post on FB.  I have no one but MYSELF to blame!!  I think b/c I post on FB frequently, people may feel they know what is going on in my life.  Yes, they may know what is going on (although I don't post everything on FB believe it or not!), and that is the great thing about FB.  It keeps people up to date about the happenings in our lives in this very busy world.  But I miss real relationships.  Do I socialize outside of FB.  Yes!  Do I socialize enough outside of FB? No!  I want to get more connected at our Church and hopefully we will get plugged in to a Small Group soon!   

 

 

• I think one of the reasons that I'm addicted to FB is that I have a fear of missing out!  Who likes the feeling of missing out?  No one that I know!

 



          It's not facebook, its crackbook - and we all suffer FOMO. 

Summary: FOMO -- fear of missing out is keeping us addicted to our social networking sites according to a new connecting and communicating study released today.
Eileen Brown

• I think another reason that I'm addicted to FB is that I'm an approval addict as well.  Come on, admit it, does anyone else check FB to see who or how many people have "liked" your status update?  I have! Many times!

Not until I learn to remind myself of how little the opinions of others matter in deciding who I become in life will my social media addiction be entirely cured. It's not my use of the websites that trouble me, but my dependence on them to make me feel whole. Feeling complete should never be reliant on someone sitting at a computer pressing a button and accurately reflecting who I am online is impossible because no digitized photo album or self-aggrandizing "About Me" section will ever do me justice.
High School Senior
Jonathan Jacob Moore 

“Our desire for approval can only truly be met by receiving God’s acceptance and approval of us.”  Joyce Meyer 

I've put FB above my relationship with God for FAR too long.  So what am I going to do about my addiction?  With HIS help, I will overcome my addiction.  Here are the steps I've taken/will take to wean myself of this addiction.  Do I think people should quit FB altogether?  No!  I believe that when used in moderation, it can be a very handy tool for communication, encouragement, etc. 

1. Last night I created a new FB Password.  It is 15 letters/numbers long.  There is no way I could possibly remember it.  I then logged off of FB on my cell phone.  I deleted my FB and Twitter Apps on my phone. 
2. I will only use FB on the laptop, which we moved out of the living room and into our guest room.  I will have the password written down there.
3. I will start off by limiting myself to 20 minutes on FB in the morning (AFTER showering and my quiet time with God!), and I will allow myself to use FB for an hour and a half in the evening.  This is FAR FAR less time than I had been spending on it!  I will not have limits on yahoo, google, etc for now b/c I am not addicted to the Internet.  I am addicted to social media.

It’s like an eating disorder. You can’t eliminate food. You just have to make better choices about what you eat.” She added, “And what you do online.”  Katie Hafner

Please pray for me as I begin this weaning process!  I need all the prayers and encouragement I can get!  Just like I gradually weaned myself off of overeating via weight watcher's.  I will now wean myself off of FB gradually, till I reach a healthy amount of FB time for me!  I'm sure I will now have so much time that I won't know what to do with myself, but I'm sure I'll be tons more productive outside of work!  (Thankfully we can not go on FB or the Internet at work for personal use!)

I feel this is the last addiction (that I know of) that I need to confront.  Baby steps!

Here is a tool if you are curious to find out if you are addicted to FB or not:

Rate yourself on the Facebook Addiction Scale.
Record your responses -- very rarely, rarely, sometimes, often or very often -- to the six following statements.
•You spend a lot of time thinking about Facebook or plan to use Facebook.
•You feel an urge to use Facebook more and more.
•You use Facebook in order to forget about personal problems.
•You have tried to cut down on the use of Facebook without success.
•You become restless or troubled if you are prohibited from using Facebook.
•You use Facebook so much that it has a negative impact on your job/studies.
Now count up the number of times you answered "often" or "very often."


Quick Poll
Did you respond "often" or "very often" to four or more statements?

Yes -- Congrats! You're a Facebook addict like the rest of us.

No -- Woohoo! Your Facebook dependency hasn't reached the level of addiction.


Sara Gates
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/facebook-addiction-test-women_n_1500656.html

 

My FPU Story

     There is FREEDOM in being debt free! But it hasn't always been that way for me! There is always hope! I'm hoping my story can give people hope to keep on keeping on! In September of 1998 I went to a consumer credit counselor b/c I couldn't pay my credit card bill...I was only paying the interest. I had 10K on a credit card. I had Student Loans. I had a car payment. I lived alone and had to pay rent. I had other bills. You get the idea! I was 24 years old. I was probably making 22K if that?? Life was tough! I didn't really budget and I will say that I wasn't the most responsible with my money...eating out (fast food) a lot, etc. The consumer credit counselor helped me, but would only work with my creditors if I cancelled my credit cards and no longer used them. It took me 5 years to pay off my CC.

     I have not used a credit card since September of 1998. 15 YEARS of not using a Credit Card and I've only had a second income (Jonathan) for 2 years. It was scary! I had no one to fall back on. But I needed to learn how to handle my money first. While Jonathan and I were dating he took Financial Peace University and I started Budgeting and working on the first few baby steps. We paid for our wedding without incurring any new debt. We came back from our 1 year anniversary vacay and paid off our last debt.   

     We just celebrated our 2nd Anniversary on July 8th! We were both single with no kids and had never been married. God is good! We now have a fully funded emergency fund and our goal is to bless others with what we have been given, travel a bit, and buy a condo in a few years. Jonathan just turned 38 and I will be 40 in January. We are very Blessed! So yes, I'm in a really good place right now, but I haven't always been. Just wanted to encourage those who get discouraged trying to make ends meet and get debt free. It IS possible. VERY Difficult, but it is possible! Keep on keeping on! You never know what tomorrow may bring!

     The hard work it takes is worth the FREEDOM that being debt free brings!

I Can't Believe This Is MY Life!

God has Blessed me with FAR more than I ever could have asked for or imagined!

 

I am overwhelmed with awe and thankfulness for the life I am living right now!  Is this really MY life?  Had I not gone thru years of challenges, difficulties and loneliness, I KNOW I wouldn't be even half as appreciative as I am today!  God is GOOD Now and He was GOOD Then!  It's just easier to see when life is going very well!

 

What I'm Thankful For

 

• Undeserved and definitely unearned GRACE from my Savior Jesus!

 

• MY HUSBAND.  I was single for 37.5 Years!  We will be celebrating our 2 Year Anniversary on July 8th and I couldn't be happier!  I am Married to my perfect match and now all of my single years make sense!  There was a purpose!  God was strengthening me thru the tough times.



 

• The fact that we are DEBT FREE.  Yes, we worked very hard to get where we are at, but it was only because we are both Blessed with jobs.

 

• VACATIONS!  We have this coming week off of work and get to spend it in Northern MI enjoying each other, and the beauty of God's creation!  We get to rest and get rejuvenated from our challenging start to the year (FIL passing and my hospitalization the same week - This was our last "vacation").  In  September we get to visit my MIL in WV, and in January we get to go to ARUBA where we will spend 7 nights at an all-inclusive resort.  It will be a nice break from the Indiana winter permacloud and  we will be celebrating my 40th Birthday.

 

• HEALTH.  I am so very thankful for my health and the health of my Husband!  I had my dead and gangrenous gallbladder removed in March.  I was hospitalized for 3 nights.  Between my Husband and I we have collectively lost 123 lbs since February of 2012.  That's a whole person!  We are eating healthier and also walking.  We LOVE Weight Watchers Online! :)  We both feel SO much better and it's an Amazing feeling to be fitting into smaller sizes of clothing that we haven't worn in years!  I was prediabetic in Feb of 2012 and I am proud to say that I kicked prediabetes to the curb! :)

 

• FAMILY & FRIENDS.  We have wonderful family and lots of wonderful friends.  We LOVE being "Aunt Jenny & Uncle Jonathan".  We are blessed to have lots of little (and many not so little anymore) ones to love and spoil!  What an Honor to be in these influential roles!

 

I know that life can change in an instant, but right now I'm thoroughly loving and enjoying this life that I am Blessed to live!  Thanks God!  :)

 

 

 

 





Vera Victim

I know someone who tends to "play the victim".  "Playing the victim" is her default mode in dealing with life's inevitable problems.  When she is overwhelmed, stressed and/or depressed, she tends to be "Vera Victim".  Vera Victim is similar to Debbie Downer, but instead of being negative about everything, she just thinks her situation is harder than everyone else's situation, and that she has no way of making things better,  She believes life just happens TO her, and that she has no choice but to get thru it, instead of taking control of her life, and making the most of the situation.  Most of the time Vera Victim is buried, but she can be quite annoying when she reappears and  falls back into her old way of thinking/being.  I'm really good at recognizing when people are playing the victim.  It gets really annoying sometimes and I often have to bite my tongue, especially on Facebook!  It's the "woe is me" mentality.  We all know people like this, but the reason that I'm so good at recognizing when someone is playing the victim, is that I AM Vera Victim!  Yes ladies and gentlemen, my name is J-La-Sta and I am the queen of playing the victim! 

 

I'm not proud of my Vera Victim mentality, but I am proud that I am being real about it!  I first learned this about myself when I took a "Boundaries" class at Church 5 years ago.  I've worked hard, with God's help, to overcome my Vera Victim mentality.  It's natural for us to fall back to our "default mode" of being during stressful times.  Right now is one of those times for me.  It's December, it's dark, my Dad passed away in December, it's just my toughest month, and my thinking tends to be more negative.  It may be my default mode, but I don't have to STAY in this mode.  I have a choice!  I want to choose Joy!

 

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 5:13 NIV

 

 

Fact:  On Christmas Eve, Jonathan works 9:00am-5:15pm and I work 9:45am-1:45pm.  On New Years Eve Jonathan works 9:00am-5:15pm and I work 9:45am-6:00pm.  We only have Christmas Day and New Years Day off for the Holidays.

 

Vera Victim Mentality:  This really sucks!  I SO need time off! Many people get the whole week off and all we get is Christmas Day and New Years Day!

 

Silver Lining Mentality:  We are blessed to have jobs!  While many people are unemployed, we are going to make our regular pay PLUS time and a half on Christmas Eve!  We get to have Christmas Day and New Year's Day off AND get paid for these days.  Many people who work in hospitals and nursing homes, etc, will be working on both of these days.

 

 

Life has been challenging for us the past 3 months, but I don't have to be Vera Victim!  There will always be people who have things better/easier than us, but there will also be people who have things much worse/more difficult than we do! 

 

 

So, Farewell Vera Victim, Joyful Jen is coming back!

 

 

Happy 13th Birthday In Heaven Dad!

November 3rd, 1940 Herbert William Latzke, who would later be my Dad, was born in Eagle River, WI.  Yep, he would have been 72 years old today!  He spent 59 years on this earth and passed away on December 8th, 1999.  So much has changed since then, in the world, and in our family.

 

 

THEN:

November 3rd, 1999 (Dad's 59th Birthday):

• I was 25 years old. 

• I was living in Cudahy, WI.

• I called you to wish you a Happy Birthday.

• I was working 2nd shift and overnights, with at-risk teens, at Calvary Academy in South Milwaukee, WI.

• I was single and thought I'd never get married.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's only Grandchild at the time) was 5 years old

• Bill Clinton was President of the United States.

• We couldn't have comprehended that less than 2 years later, 9-11 would terrorize our Nation.

• Mom was cancer free.

NOW:

November 3rd, 2012 (Dad's 13th Birthday in Heaven):

• I am 38 years old (yet somehow I haven't aged one bit!) 

• I have been living back in South Bend, IN for 5.5 years (Yes, I know I said I'd NEVER move back to South Bend! I am older and wiser and have learned to never say never!)

• I can't call you to wish you a Happy Birthday, but I will be thinking of you all day.

• I have been working at an Insurance Company for 4.5 years.

• I have been married to an Amazing man named Jonathan for 16 months.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's 1st Grandson) is now 18 years old!  There are now 4 more Grandchildren that Dad never got the chance to meet.  No, I did not have quadruplets! LOL :)  Lexi will be 10 tomorrow,  Hannah is 8, Tyler is 6 and Myles just turned 3. 

• Barack Obama is President of the United States.  The Presidential election is in 3 days and I cannot wait for it to be over!

• We are living in a post 9-11 world, and the world seems to be getting more and more violent.

• Mom has been battling cancer since 2 months after you passed away (February, 2000)

Life has changed since you went home to heaven Dad, in wonderful ways, and in some not so wonderful ways.  But one thing that won't change, is that I will always love you and miss you!

 

 

Happy 72nd Birthday Dad!  See you soon!

 

 

Love,

 

 

 

Jen Jen

 

 



Pure True Indescribable Joy

Have you ever experienced pure true indescribable Joy?  I have!  Easter Sunday, April 8th, 2012 is the day I experienced pure true indescribable Joy!  This was my Baptism Day!  Yes, I was baptized as an infant.  If you want to know why I chose to get baptized as an adult, you can read that blog by clicking this link. For about 2 weeks afterwards, I was on what I called a "Baptism high".  It's been exactly 4 months today since my Baptism, and even now I have such Joy in my heart when I think about that wonderful day!  It truly was one of 2 of the happiest days of my life!  That day changed my life and my heart forever!  I say indescribable because there are no words that can accurately describe the joy my heart felt that day and continues to feel because of that day.  I found this description on a blog by John which is the closest I'll come to describing it:

"During a baptism something happens that is very difficult to explain. In a single moment - everything changes.  One enters the water purposeful, ready and willing to surrender everything to God.  And in a single moment, they rise with a radiance that rivals the brightest sunrise."

I was SO excited and smiling so big before my Baptism that Dr. (Pastor) Bob (the guy on the right who baptized me) said "I'm not worried about this one!" I'll let the pictures and video speak for themselves, but I do know that God used my Baptism to open my heart to love more deeply and to feel His Joy more completely! :)

My friend and co-worker Brandon caught my Baptism on video! :) It's only 53 seconds long, and my baptism starts at 38 seconds.

I thought the 2nd to the last picture was so awesome!  It's like I'm holding up the words.  My desire is "forever to bring Him praise, forever to lift up His name"!

My Weight Loss Journey

     I've always struggled with my weight, but when I do decide to lose weight, I do it!  I lost approximately 35-40 lbs in 2000.  Most of you know that I am very "all or nothing".  Either I don't step on a scale or try on new clothes (cuz in my mind denial is better than actually knowing how much I weight or that I need to go up yet another pant size!), and continue to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, or I follow a fairly strict regimen. I lost weight before the wedding.  I had motivation!  I had a wedding dress I needed to fit into, and gosh darnit, I was going to look good in those wedding pictures which last forever!  I did fit into that dress and I looked and felt amazing! :) 

     The wedding came and went and I lost my motivation.  I no longer had a wedding dress to fit into, the gorgeous pictures had already been taken by my wonderful SIL, I was comfortable being married, my Husband loved me regardless of if I was fat or skinny! So for the first 6 months of our marriage, I gained 20-25 lbs.  Jonathan actually lost 10 lbs!  December 8th I bought the best Pedometer ever, and started walking about 6,000-7,000 steps a day.  In the past year I have had Cellulitis 3 different times.  Cellulitis is a nasty bacterial infection.  I have Venous Insuffiency (a vein disorder in my legs), which makes me more prone to Cellulitis. The last time I had Cellulitis was the end of January of this year.  At that time I weighed 207-209 lbs!  I am only 5'3 inches tall!  I realized my weight had gotten out of control!  That was the most I had ever weighed in my life! 

Here is a pic of me which was taken on January 2nd in Chicago. We were celebrating my 38th Birthday which was the following day:

     I went back to my Dr. in early February.  I wanted to get to the bottom of why I kept getting Cellulitis so frequently!  She said that "Once or twice having Cellulitis in such a short period of time, we can chalk up to fluke things, but 3 times, there is probably something going on".   So about a week later I fasted for 12 hours and had blood drawn and tested.  The results were mailed to me.  On February 8th I got the results.  I wasn't prepared for what I was going to read.  When I read the words "Pre-Diabetes" I instantly panicked and felt anxious!  My impaired fasting glucose was 108.  I had never heard of pre-diabetes before.  I later found out it used to be called "impaired fasting glucose, but those words didn't communicate just how serious the condition is, and people weren't making the changes they needed to make.  Reading "Pre-Diabetes" on that paper, was the motivation I needed!  I was determined NOT to let this turn into Diabetes! I DO NOT want to have to give myself insulin shots!  I had a choice to make!  Either I would continue down the same path, which wasn't looking very good!  Or I would make the necessary lifestyle changes.  Here is the range of fasting glucose numbers and how those numbers are classified:

     Here is the the definition of Prediabetes according to Wikipedia:  "Prediabetes is the state in which some but not all of the diagnostic criteria for diabetes are met. It is often described as the “gray area” between normal blood sugar and diabetic levels.  There is a 50% risk over 10 years of progressing to overt diabetes. A recent study cited the average time for progression as less than three years."

     Thankfully I had started the First Annual "J-La-Sta 10,000 Steps Walking Challenge" on January 8th and was walking 10,000 steps a day!  Had I not been walking for those 2 months prior to my blood test, I probably would have had a higher glucose level!  My husband also realized that we needed to eat better for my health and for his health.  In February or March we started making dietary changes. We weigh most of our food, so we know exactly how much we are eating.  I am SO thankful we are doing this together!  It would be so much harder to do without the support and encouragement of the one you are living with!  We do not keep sugary cereals in the house, etc.  We are both on board with these lifestyle changes!  The walking challenge ended on March 30th, but we continue to walk at least 10,000 steps a day for 6 days out of the week.  I am happy to report that Jonathan has lost a total of 50 lbs since the wedding and I have lost 30 lbs since the end of January! (See pic below which was taken on June 23rd, 2012.

     I go back in 2 months to have my blood checked again.  I am confident that because of my walking, healthier eating, and weight loss, my glucose level will be much lower than it was!  What is my new motivation for losing weight?  I love my God, my Husband, my Friends, my Family, and last but not least, I love ME! :)

I have 42 more lbs to lose to get to my goal of 135 lbs.  I can and will do this with the strength I get from God, and from the support and encouragement I receive from my Husband, Family, and Friends! :)
 

I Want To Live Like That!

"I Want To Live Like That!"
by Sidewalk Prophets

This song has really touched my heart ever since the first time I heard it! The lyrics are incredibly powerful and thought provoking! I've been meaning to blog about it for months, and decided to finally do just that this evening! This song really makes me think about how my words and actions can either show others the love of Jesus or possibly turn those who are searching for truth, away from Jesus.  If you have a few minutes, I encourage you to watch the video/listen to this amazing song!

Here are the lyrics:
The lyrics are bolded and my comments are in Italics.

Sometimes I think
 What will people say of me
 When I'm only just a memory
 When I'm home where my soul belongs

What do I want to be known for when God calls me home?  What Legacy do I want to leave here on earth? 
Was I love
 When no one else would show up
 Was I Jesus to the least of those
 Was my worship more than just a song

I want to be known as someone who loved others well, even "the least of these", like Jesus did!  I want my worship to be a way of life, and not just an hour on the weekend!


I want to live like that
 And give it all I have
 So that everything I say and do
 Points to You

Yes, I really do want to live like that!  I want to be intentional about loving others and pointing others to Him!

If love is who I am
 Then this is where I'll stand
 Recklessly abandoned
 Never holding back

GOD is Love!  I am human and therefore imperfect, and cannot give pure unconditional love, but I plan on giving it all I've got, with the help of my Savior!


I want to live like that
 I want to live like that

Am I proof
 That You are who you say You are
 That grace can really change a heart
 Do I live like Your love is true

I want to live like His love is true, trusting boldly in his promises!  Grace can and does change hearts everyday!

People pass
 And even if they don't know my name
 Is there evidence that I've been changed
 When they see me, do they see You

I can and want to tell others about Jesus, but I don't have to use words.  People notice those who are "different from others in the way they live their lives".  I honestly do believe that actions speak louder than words.  I want people to see Jesus in me without me having to say a word!
 
I want to live like that
 And give it all I have
 So that everything I say and do
 Points to You

I want my life to point to Him!
If love is who I am
 Then this is where I'll stand
 Recklessly abandoned
 Never holding back

"Never holding back".  Never is a tough act to follow, but all I can do is pray for strength to love others well and be a witness to others simply by the way I live my life.

I want to live like that
 I want to live like that

I'm going to need lots of help!  I do know that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
I want to show the world the love You gave for me
 I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King

Life is short!  I want everyone to know the love my King gave for them!

I want to live like that
 And give it all I have
 So that everything I say and do
 Points to You

It's easy to judge and find fault with others, but it takes a lot more effort to just love them where they are at!
If love is who I am
 Then this is where I'll stand
 Recklessly abandoned
 Never holding back

I want to live like that
 I want to live like that

I want my life to be a testimony of His AMAZING Grace!

After Years of Searching, I Found My Home!

All 3 Pics were taken by my SIL Sandy of Sandra Ellen Photography in Grand Rapids!

My Moves During College (6 times if I'm counting correctly):
August 1992 - Moved from South Bend, IN to College in Milwaukee, WI - Lived in dorm.
May 1993 - Moved back to South Bend, IN for the Summer
August 1993 - Moved back to College in Milwaukee, WI - Lived in dorm.
May 1994 - Moved from dorm to an apartment on campus for the summer.
August 1994 - Moved from summer apartment to another apartment on campus for the school year.
May 1995 - Moved to another apartment on campus for the summer and following school year.

My Moves Since College (Yep, 15 times in 15 years)
May 1996 - Graduated College - Moved to an off campus apartment in Milwaukee, WI with a friend.
August 1997 - Moved to Greenfield WI to my own apartment when roomie got married.
May 1998 - Moved to South Milwaukee, WI where I lived where I worked.
September 1998 - Moved to Cudahy, WI where I had my own apartment again.
July 2001 - Moved to Denver (Aurora), Colorado for a job and lived where I worked.
February 2002 - Moved back to WI and lived in Oak Creek, WI with a family who are friends of mine
November 2002 - Moved into my own apartment in Milwaukee, WI.
March 2004 - Moved into another apartment in West Milwaukee, WI, which was right across the street from where I worked at the time.
October 2006 - Moved to West Allis, WI by New Berlin, WI border.
May 2007 - Relocated back to my hometown of South Bend IN and lived with my Grandma in Granger, IN.
September 2007 - Moved to Autumn Lakes Apartments in Mishawaka, IN with a friend.
March 2008 - Moved into a house with 2-3 other women in Mishawaka, IN and rented a room.
June 2009 - Moved into a Condo in Mishawaka, IN that I shared with the Owner.
July 2010 - Finally got back on my feet and moved into my own Apartment at Irish Hills Apartments in South Bend, IN.
July 2011 - I moved from my 1 bedroom apartment into a 2 bedroom apartment with my husband, at the same apartment complex in South Bend, IN.

I HATE MOVING! 
Wouldn't you if you had moved so many times?

Moving is the third most stressful event in life, following death and divorce. (from: Employee Relocation Council).  Moving is trauma, ranked right up there with getting a divorce, losing a job or burying a loved one.

I dealt with the loss of my Dad alone and have moved SO many times by myself, that with all of that stress, God must be preparing me for something huge! :)

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”
― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

This is my favorite Engagement Pic!  Sandy is a very talented Photographer! :)

I'm so thankful that we are staying put for a few years!  The only reason we would move, is to buy a condo or a house!  It's nice to have some consistency and stability for a while! :)

All of this moving really has taught me that

"Home Is Where The Heart Is!"

We Are Content Being A Family of Two!

Yes, my Husband and I are a FAMILY of two!  We believe that our family is complete! :)

Our First Date As a Married Couple - Clearwater Beach, FL

We are not planning on having any children.  However, we also know that the Creator of life may have other plans. (In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9)  We are 100% Pro-Life, so if God chooses otherwise, we will be happy with His plan and embrace His gift of life.  That being said, my life just hasn't been the "get engaged in college, get married right after college, have kids right away" type of life that many of my friends have had.  I haven't followed the typical"/expected" path.  That hasn't been God's plan for me.  I used to not like being different,  but now I love it!  I'm Jennifer Stanley, not Suzie Homemaker. Neither do I consider myself to be a "Career Woman".  I work to live, not live to work.  Anyways, there will most likely not be a television show called "Jon & Jen Plus (Insert any number here)".  It's more like "0 Kids & Not Counting"!  I will be 39 in January, not 22.  Some days I hardly have the energy to work full time and take care of myself and be a wife, so I don't know how I would have the energy to be a Mom at this point in my life!.  I do know that God never gives us more than we can handle.  Which is why my best friend has 4 boys, and I don't.  He knew she could handle it and be a great Mom, too!  I also am on medications that are working that I could not be on if I were pregnant. 

What people might assume about us (or others) because of our (their) choice to not have children:

1. We are selfish.  Yep, we are human and we can all be selfish at times.  However, I wouldn't consider us to be selfish people.  I don't believe our reasons for not wanting children are selfish.  We love to serve God and others with our time and money, and we can do that in ways that we couldn't do if we had children. 

2. We don't like children.  Wrong!  We love kids, and they really do love us too! :)Have you seen pictures of us with our Nephews/Nieces?  We all have fun when we are together!  They especially love to climb on Uncle Jonathan!  We get to enjoy our Nephews/Nieces and (hopefully) be good examples for them.  Just because we love children, doesn't mean we want to raise some of our own.

3. We want to spend all of our money on ourselves.  I would be lying if I said we didn't have things, such as traveling that we want to do!  However, we love giving of our time and money to God, family and friends!  We are very Blessed!  We want to get out of debt (which we will be very shortly!) so that we can continue to give and be a blessing to others.  We are choosing to live well beneath our means in order to do so.

Some "not so great" reasons to have children (in my opinion):

1. In case we might someday regret not having children.  Not a good reason to have kids.  It sounds a bit selfish, because it's all about "us". " I'll have kids so I don't feel regret later in life". 

2. To have someone to take care of us when we get old.  There are no guarantees in life.  Having children just so there will be someone to take care of us when we are old, would not be fair to the kids, nor is it necessarily realistic.  In this day and age people relocate more now than ever, and families often don't live in close proximity to each other.  In my opinion, having children for this reason is more selfish than choosing not to have children.  Plus, I'm the type of person who will be talking with everyone and having fun even when I'm in a Nursing Home!

3. Because many of our friends have children/are having children.  We've all heard this one:  "If your friends jumped off of a cliff, would you jump off of a cliff too??"  Umm, NO!  Not a good idea to do something just because everyone else is or is not doing it!  Many of my friends got married in their early to mid 20's.  Did that mean that I should have settled for any guy that came along just so I could "be married like everyone else"?  Absolutely not!  I'm SO glad I didn't do that and waited for my Mr. Right!  God has been So Faithful to me and to us! :)

4. To get unconditional love.  First of all, God is the only person that can give pure unconditional love!  Second of all, if we want unconditional love, we can get a dog!  Having kids is about the kids and what we can do for them, what we get from them is just an added bonus!

*****We <3 Being "Aunt Jenny & Uncle Jonathan"!*****
We Are The Coolest Aunt & Uncle Ever, and Humble Too! :)

My Life 5 Years Ago - Then vs. Now

My Life 5 Years Ago - May 1st, 2007

• I was unemployed.
• I relocated back to my hometown of South Bend, IN which meant leaving behind 15 years worth of friends.
• I had been denied unemployment (which I eventually fought and won) so I had no income coming in for over 3 months.
• My Grandmother was gracious enough to let me live with her.
• My Mom's cancer was in her bones.
• I was single and thought I would never find the right guy!
• That July my Nephew was diagnosed with a heart condition which was a birth defect that wasn't caught until he was almost 13 years old.  He had major open heart surgery that September.
• The economy in South Bend/Elkhart IN was awful.  It took me a year of looking to get 1 job offer.  After unemployment ran out (I got it for only 6 months), I took a waitressing job in the meantime to pay the bills.  I would cry if I got jipped on a tip b/c I really needed the money.
• Life was extremely difficult.
• Life was lonely.
• It didn't help matters any that I had the "I'm the victim" mentality, in fact it made my situation worse.
• I was not emotionally healthy.
• I understood that God loved me in my head, but not in my heart.

My Life Now - May 1st, 2012

• I have been working at the same job for 4 years and 1.5 months.
• I have been married for almost 10 months to a man I met thru said job. Our 1st date was almost 2.5 years after I moved back to South Bend.
• My Nephew Trey is doing great!  God spared his life and his last check-up with the cardiologist showed everything looks great!
• I saw an amazing Christian Counselor for about 2 years and 3 months and worked on my issues.
• I have been with my same Small Group for over 4 years.  They have helped me to grow and with God's help to overcome my former "victim mentality", although it still is my first nature and I still fight it!
• Overall, I am emotionally healthy now.
• I am not lonely.  I have Jonathan and lots of friends, both old and new!
• My husband and I plan on being debt free sometime this Summer.
• Life is challenging, but is no longer extremely difficult.
• I wish I could say my Mom's cancer battle is over, and that she is in remission, however she continues to fight the battle!  She is the strongest woman I know and has been a Survivor for over 12 years and 2 months!
• My relationship with my Savior is strong and growing! I know he loves ME unconditionally!

The Moral of my story is:  God has a plan for your life and even if things aren't going so great now, it doesn't mean things will be like that forever.  My life didn't magically get better overnight.  It took many years of perseverance and hard work.  I am in a great season in my life now, so I'm going to appreciate it for as long as it lasts.  My hope is that the next time I hit hard times in my life, that I will "Praise Him in the storm".