Here are Twenty things I’ve missed in the past 20 Years without Him:
1. I’ve missed having a close immediate Family member who is analytical like me. My Dad was.
2. I’ve missed being called “Jen Jen”. No one else is allowed to call me this.
3. I’ve missed my Dad getting to meet Jonathan.
4. I’ve missed not having my Dad walk me down the aisle, err..sidewalk to get Married.
5. I’ve missed getting/giving hugs from/to my Dad.
6. I’ve missed being able to talk to my Dad after I finally grew up. I wasn’t grown up at 25.
7. I’ve missed having mechanical (cars) and house (maintenance) issues help. My Dad was handy like that.
8. I’ve missed his corny jokes.
9. I’ve missed his sensitivity. He and I were more alike than I would ever admit when I was younger and he was alive.
10. I’ve missed him not getting to meet Mookie and Chai.
11. I’ve missed him not being here for the highs and lows in my life.
12. I’ve missed our Family as it was before he passed away. Things haven’t been the same for me since he was here.
13. I’ve missed being able to watch him grow old. 59 isn’t young, but it’s not old either.
14. I’ve missed the bond we had (even though we often butted heads and I didn’t see that bond until he was gone).
15. I’ve missed hearing him sing “I know that My Redeemer Lives”, even if he often sang off key.
16. I’ve missed getting to the “Friends” point with him.
17. I’ve missed having a Dad for 20 years. Period.
18. I’ve missed his serious yet playful personality.
19. I’ve missed wishing him a Happy Birthday for his past 20 Birthdays and having a Dad on Father’s Day for the past 20 Father’s Days.
20. I’ve missed celebrating Christmas with him for the past 20 Christmases.
Here are 5 things I’ve learned/had to learn/have become over the past 20 years since my Dad has been gone:
1. I had to learn how to be completely independent. My Sisters had their significant others and My Mom started dating pretty quickly after Dad passed. I felt very alone. I wouldn’t be who I am today, had my Dad not passed away 20 years ago. I didn’t start dating Jonathan until 2 months before the 10th Anniversary of my Dad’s passing.
2. I’ve become a much stronger Woman, not having a Father figure in my life for 20 years and being completely single for 10 years after Dad died.
3. I’ve learned how to problem solve and take action because I was alone for so long and My Dad was in Heaven.
4. I financially supported myself during college and worked full time until May/August of 2017. I got Married in 2011.
5. I’ve learned that Life is Tough, but God is Faithful.
I will miss Him till the day I die (although I’m thankful God spared my life on December 3rd, 2019)!
I’m so very Thankful for My Husband and Our Dogs!
Surprisingly, I’ve been more in the Christmas Spirit this Year than I’ve EVER been! :-) This will be my 21st Christmas without You! No one ever has or ever could replace You, but I’m Happy and Blessed and I know that “I can only imagine” the Joy you’ve been experiencing for the past 20 years!
I Love You Dad!
Jen Jen
No comments:
Post a Comment