2017 - A Year of Great Change and Personal Growth

One would think that 2016 would have been our year with the most change.  I mean, we bought a house and adopted a "special needs" rescue dog!  Well, 2017 was equally a huge year of change for us, but it had a much more profound affect on my view of life.  Financial Security is something I didn't have until after I got Married and we got debt free a year later.  Then we saved and traveled, and finally bought our 1st home on April 8th of 2016.  The Blessing is that since I didn't have credit cards, my Name is on the Title, but it is not on the loan.  My Income didn't count when it came to purchasing our home.  We lived below our means, including the size/price of house we chose to buy.  Jonathan could have been approved for a more expensive house, but we didn't want to be "house poor".  

I started babysitting at the age of 12 and started buying my own clothes then.  I started working at at 16.  I worked in college, over breaks, and during the summers as well.  I started working Full Time as soon as I graduated college.  Besides for a total of 9 months throughout the years, I have always been employed Full Time.  I waitressed for 6 Months before I was finally given a job offer at LM. My job at LM was there when I needed it.  They have amazing benefits, etc.  I met my Husband there.  I will be eternally grateful that I was hired there and found Love (and Friendship) at LM!    This job was there for me when I needed it and I was employed for 9.5 years.  That's a long time for me.  The detailed work was so me, but the putting in headphones and focusing and sitting at a desk 37.5 hours a week was not a good fit for this Extrovert.  But I stayed where life was "safe and comfortable and secure".  I mean after all, I was making GOOD Money.  

Something wasn't right though.  I constantly sat there obsessing about my Mom's cancer, my BIL's Cancer, my Step Dad's Grand Mal Seizure.  All heavy stuff, right?  Well my mind literally could not stop obsessing.  Part of the reason being, was if my Family needed me and I left work 3 hours early, I would get a full incident against me.  It would be as if I hadn't shown up for work at all that day.  After like 5.75 incidents you get a verbal warning, and the consequences got stiffer the more incidents you got.  FMLA is only used for your own medical condition, or if you are the primary caregiver for a relative.  I couldn't get FMLA when Jonathan's Dad was sick and dying.  There were other Family issues that were going on at the same time too.

It all caught up to me, and I just couldn't do it anymore.  I saw my Counselor.  I saw my Dr, who I ended up firing, and I fought for my mental health.  I was on Short Term Disability, but after a short while, my Husband and I came to the conclusion, that what was best for me, was for me to resign from my job at LM.  It took 3 months to get in to see a Psych NP.  My new MD made some med changes, but my Psych NP actually put me on Aderall.   Yes, at the age of 43 I was diagnosed with ADD.  My Husband was very surprised how productive I was at home during the day.  You know why?  Because I'm a hard worker, but my ADD made it nearly impossible to focus at a desk job, not talking to people.  When it came to running errands, making appointments, etc, I was uber productive.  And you know what?  I didn't obsess about all of the cancer and illness in my Family.  I was too busy to obsess.  

It was a very long Summer waiting for approval for my STD after every Dr Appt.  Always being afraid it would be denied.  Psych issues are treated so much differently than physical issues.  I know this is 2017.....2018 in a few hours, but it's true.  I was only on STD for less than 3 months when my Husband and I reached the decision, that I needed to quit my job.  It wasn't for me.  It didn't fit my personality.  It didn't allow for me to leave and be there for my Family if they needed me.  It didn't allow for me to call in sick when I could hardly function, not if I wanted to keep the job.  I resigned as soon as we made the decision.  I resigned on August 21st and I haven't once regretted my decision.  Even my Husband says we don't really miss my income.  Why?  Because we live below our means.  My Husband is Happier.  I am Happier.  If my Sister in WI needs me, I can drive to WI.  If my Mom or Grandma need me, I can be there for them, without receiving an incident.

Lessons Learned in 2017...I mean REALLY Learned:

1.  Peace is more important than Money.

2.  Family comes first...before Money..before a Job.

3.  It takes a leap of Faith and Trust in God, but He will provide.  No...please don't quit your job if you live alone and say....well Jen said......!  I supported myself for years.  I am the saver in our relationship.

I am Happy..  I am at Peace.  I was Diagnosed with ADD.  I am a hard worker.

I started my small business called J-La-Sta's Thrifty Threads on September 26th of 2017.  I love bargain hunting!  I love meeting new people.  I love serving others.  I love having a more flexible schedule where Family comes first.  I am not making anywhere near the amount of money I made working Full Time at Liberty, but you know what?  2017 taught me that Peace is FAR more important than money!  My security rests in my Savior, not in LM, and not in the Money I received from LM.  I work my butt off now.  I may not get the same amount of money, but this job fits the flexible lifestyle I need and want now.  Thank you Jonathan, for letting me quit LM and for realizing it was the best move for us!  I Love You! :-)

I also learned that I'm stronger than I think I am.  Being mentally ill, and having sick Family Members, one learns who their true Friends are.  Thank you to those who were there for me during one of the darkest and most challenging times in my life.  Please fight for yourself and your health, because no one else will.  I had to fight hard for months to get the care I need, when I barely had the energy to get out of bed.  I had a MD (after I told her I couldn't function and I was crying in front of her nonstop) say to me "So you are going back to work tomorrow right?"  Even if your Dr doesn't get it, keep fighting to get the help you need.

Peace and Happiness are Far More Important than Money.  I am Blessed.  We are Blessed.  I've only been running my small business for 3 months, but I hope to continue to grow it in the future.  I'm a hard worker, just a hard worker with ADD and an Extroverted Personality.  I did what I had to do when I had to do it, for 9.5 years, and now......I'm doing what I GET to do.

My Goals for 2018 are to grow my Business and to lose weight I gained as a result of giving into cravings caused by new meds.  I want to be healthier again.  However, I have also learned that my weight doesn't define me.

Happy New Year Everyone!  I Hope that 2018 is a Year Full of Happiness and Blessings Beyond Measure for you!

~ J-LaSta

The Fight For My Mental Health

It's been a long 3 months!!  Very long!!   Some of you may be thinking, The Fight for your mental health?  It's not like you are fighting cancer, or diabetes, or heart disease!  What do you mean by "The Fight for My Mental Health"?    If you have ever dealt with a mental illness, you know exactly what I'm referring to!  It is a Fight!  It's a huge fight and it's not a fight for one who backs down easily.  It takes persistence and consistency and never giving up!  I'll give you a run down of the timeline (thus far) of my fight to get better.

March 17th  -  I cried at work.

March 20th - I went to the Dr b/c of my Depression getting worse.  She told me I needed better coping skills and upped my Prozac from 10 mg to 20 mg.

March 25th -  I had a 7 am counseling appointment with my Counselor who taught me Mindfulness.

April 21st - I had an awful crying day at work on the 20th.  i was able to take the 21st off and called my Dr. at 8:15 am on the 21st, to try and get in to be seen.  My Depression was getting much worse, and not better.  My Dr said she could not see me and told me to go to Epworth.  I later found out that Epworth is an inpatient facility only.  Since I was not a harm to myself or to others and was not suicidal, I had to wait till Monday, April 24th, to be seen.  My Dr.. did not offer me any other appointments with other Dr.'s at her practice that Friday.  When i saw my Dr. on Monday the 24th of April, she upped my Prozac from 20 mg to 40 mg.  I was crying uncontrollably and told her I  could not function.   She looked at me with a straight face and said "So you are going back to work tomorrow, right?".  I said "I just told you I cannot function!  No, I cannot go back to work tomorrow.  She offered to write a note.  I told her notes don't work at my place of employment and that I needed FMLA to secure my job.  I was in disbelief, I had always gotten along with her before and had no problems with her, until my depression started acting up.  She had been prescribing my meds for 6 years and not once had I ever had issues severe enough that I went to see her in regards to my depression.  I was not a "cry wolf" type of patient.  She finally agreed to give me 2 weeks of FMLA.  I filed for FMLA, but not for short term disability because I needed to use my vacation time for our mission trip to Ecuador in July.

After, being shocked and very unhappy with how the appointment went with my Dr on the 24th, I made an appointment to see a new Dr. on April 26th.  He was awesome, but most of all because he possessed empathy and understanding in regards to depression.  We set up another appointment for me to see him for a follow-up on Friday, May 5th, before I returned to work on May 8th.  He wanted me to have another week off to see my Counselor and work on getting better, so he gave me another week of FMLA.  I took that unpaid as well.

I went back to work on Monday, May 15th.  I worked the 15th-18th (Mon-Thurs) and by the end of the day on Thursday I was behind on my work and crying.  I was able to take the 19th off of work.  I got in to see my new Dr. on the 20th.  I told him that every time the old Dr upped my Prozac, 3 weeks later, I would be crying uncontrollably.  He believed me and set up a plan for me to be weaned off of the med.  He agreed to up my Seroquel from 200-300 mg.  We also both agreed that it was time for me to apply for short term disability while getting used to new meds and waiting to see a Psych Specialist. My Husband and I decided it was not in my best interest to go out of the country on the mission trip at this time.   When I first saw this Dr. on April 26th, he got me on a referral list for a Psychiatrist.  I called that place on May 18th and found out I was on a waiting list for a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner because that Psychiatrist only saw adolescents and children.  The last time I checked (a few days ago), they will be calling to schedule an appointment with me in the next week or 2, but I probably won't be seen until the end of July/beginning of August.

I had a follow-up appointment with my new Dr on Friday, June 2nd.  I had gained 10 lbs in 2 weeks due to my meds making me crave bad stuff, and me giving in to those cravings.  He advised me to push thru the extreme tiredness and avoid sleeping whenever I was tired.  It's been hard, but I was successful yesterday, and I have been successful today..  I have an appointment on June 27th for blood work to be drawn and then my next follow-up appointment with my Dr is July 6th.  

I  applied for Short Term Disability thru my Employer on May 19th.  Due to a Holiday and some miscommunication between my Dr.s Office and my Employer, my employer just received the needed paperwork from my Dr late on Friday June 2nd.  Today is June 6th and I am still waiting for an answer as ti whether my short term disability will be approved or denied.

During all of this my Husband got a promotion at work.  God is good and is watching out for us.  I am very much at peace right now in regards to my short term disability getting approved or denied.  I don't know what will happen.  Since I was feeling so much peace, I used the concordance in my NLT Bible and I found the following verse: " Submit to God, and you will have peace; then things will go well for you."  Job 22:21.  I can honestly say that I feel that's what I'm doing now, submitting to God.  My health has to come first.  I'm glad my Husband realizes that, and I'm glad we live modestly and live below our means.  I am not worried.

So, there you have it.  This is my saga thus far.  I think the uppage of seroquel and the weaning off of prozac has helped, but I'm still dealing with the side effects of the seroquel, which aren't fun.  



Thank you to the Friends who have stopped by, called and/or texted, or have sent me well wishes thru my Husband at work, or to me thru FB.  I really appreciate it.  It is nice to be thought of and know that I'm cared for.  God's got this.  I'm not worried.  I just want to get better.  

So there you have it.  That's what I mean by "The Fight For My Mental Health", and it's not over yet.

As a bracelet given to me by a friend says "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it".  With God and Jonathan on my side, I can and will come out of this stronger!

Peace, Love, and Joy to you All!

Love,

J-La-Sta

I Just Want to Feel Like Myself Again

Yes, parts of J-La-Sta come out every now and then.  Just bits and pieces of my goofiness, usually around Jonathan, who is one of the only people I see these days, since i am off of work.  I used to think it would be cool to be off of work for a while. But this is not how I imagined it.  Dr. Appointments, Counseling Appointments,  getting used to strong meds that make me so so tired, but not knowing if I'm even on the right ones yet.   Waiting and waiting and waiting some more to get in to see a Nurse Practitioner (Psychiatrist).  Not feeling like doing much of anything. Having a horrible memory, and not being able to talk right, ie say what I want to say.  I can't safely drive myself long distances due to the effects the meds are having on me. Jonathan says I sleep a lot, although I do make myself get up and go to bed at basically the same times every day.   I have little to no energy.  Plus, I'm still waiting to see if my short term disability from work has been approved, which adds more stress to my life.   Then the bills that are piling up from said appointments..  Yes, I'm blessed to have great insurance and I'm thankful I chose the PPO plan for the last year it's being offered.  I've already met my deductible, and it's a very low deductible comparatively.  I'm bummed that we are not going on the Mission Trip to Ecuador because we felt the Lord prodding us not to go due the current state of my mental health.  Then on top of this I worry about the serious health conditions of close loved ones.  Yes, I know God is in control, but you would worry too, trust me!  If you were in my shoes and didn't worry at all, you wouldn't be human.  Just sayin!

We all have our crosses in life to bear.  Mine just happens to be depression.  Yes I've tried it all and no, essential oils won't take it all magically away and removing sugar from my diet won't magically take it away, etc etc etc.  There is no easy fix.  I have dealt with depression since I was 16 years old.  Actually, I can even remember having it as a small child.

I was off of work for 3 weeks and went back for 4 days and couldn't handle it.  I need to be able to function at 100 percent and I wasn't there yet.  These meds are kicking my butt and I only had 1 med change at the time.  This is my 5th full week off of work.  I have worked there for 9 years.  I have worried about losing my job, but you know what?  I work to live.  I don't live to work.  If there is anything this most recent bout of depression has taught me, is that I put my job way ahead of where it should have been in the list of my priorities.  I put it above my health, above my trust in God, etc.  It has caused me to re-evaluate my priorities and I want my life to show what my priorities are.  If my Family needs me I will be there.  Work is not, nor should it be my first priority.  I want my life to show that my priorities are 1.  God.  2.  Jonathan  2.5 (half joking) Mookie  3. Family  4.  Work.  God will provide for my needs.  Jonathan and I live below our means.  Jonathan was recently blessed with a promotion at work.  We can live on his income and survive just fine.  We just wouldn't be able to bless others and travel like we love to do.

I am Jennifer Stanley, a Loved Daughter of the King.  I am not Jennifer Stanley, Technical Assistant.  My worth does not come from my job.  But you know what, I was letting my worth come from my job before this bout of depression.  I based my worth on my performance.  So maybe, just maybe, God is using this to teach me to not hold on so tightly to my job, to make me Trust that God will provide for me and that I have Jonathan now.  I'm no longer all alone in this world.  I don't know what the future holds, but God promises to take care of me.

When I first pulled up FB this Afternoon, I saw this right away:

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

"I want you to face adversity with confidence and firm determination. Because I am with you and the Holy Spirit lives in you, you have everything you need to be bold. Cowardliness is not of My kingdom. When you are feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances, remember who you are—a child of the eternal King! Invite Me into the very circumstances that are intimidating you, and let the Light of My powerful Presence strengthen you. When you choose to live courageously, I am pleased. And I respond by strengthening your heart, thus increasing your valor." —Jesus Today by Sarah Young, p. 338

"Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord." —Psalm 31:24 NKJV

God knew I needed to read this.  I am going to live courageously, no matter what my depressed feelings tell me, and no matter what happens with my job.  God will strengthen me and He will provide for me as he always has.

So Friends, I pray that this has given you some encouragement as well.  Life isn't easy..  We all have our crosses in life to bear.  If the grass looks greener on the other side, chances are it's not.....it only looks that way.  Not everyone opens their heart and soul like I do, but I pride myself in being real.

So, like Jonathan keeps telling me, my job right now is to get myself better.   That's it.  That's my job.  Whether I get paid for it or not.  

Thank you to my Friends who have been there to support me!  It is much appreciated!  Thank you for being His hands and feet to me.  Thank you to Jonathan for dealing with me the past few months.  I know it hasn't been easy and that this is the worse my depression has been since we've been married (almost 6 years).

To my co-workers, I hope to be back sooner, rather than later.  If you would, say a prayer that a Psychiatrist appointment would magically open up, that would help! :-)

I'm thankful for an Awesome MD who has empathy and wants to help me and knows I am trying to get better.

Most of all, Thank you to God for providing for my every need and for placing people into my life at just the right time, especially my sweet 4 legged baby, Mookie, who loves me unconditionally and follows me everywhere. 

Thanks for listening everyone!  I'll continue to keep you updated on my progress.

~J-La-Sta

Happy 13th Birthday In Heaven Dad!

November 3rd, 1940 Herbert William Latzke, who would later be my Dad, was born in Eagle River, WI.  Yep, he would have been 72 years old today!  He spent 59 years on this earth and passed away on December 8th, 1999.  So much has changed since then, in the world, and in our family.

 

 

THEN:

November 3rd, 1999 (Dad's 59th Birthday):

• I was 25 years old. 

• I was living in Cudahy, WI.

• I called you to wish you a Happy Birthday.

• I was working 2nd shift and overnights, with at-risk teens, at Calvary Academy in South Milwaukee, WI.

• I was single and thought I'd never get married.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's only Grandchild at the time) was 5 years old

• Bill Clinton was President of the United States.

• We couldn't have comprehended that less than 2 years later, 9-11 would terrorize our Nation.

• Mom was cancer free.

NOW:

November 3rd, 2012 (Dad's 13th Birthday in Heaven):

• I am 38 years old (yet somehow I haven't aged one bit!) 

• I have been living back in South Bend, IN for 5.5 years (Yes, I know I said I'd NEVER move back to South Bend! I am older and wiser and have learned to never say never!)

• I can't call you to wish you a Happy Birthday, but I will be thinking of you all day.

• I have been working at an Insurance Company for 4.5 years.

• I have been married to an Amazing man named Jonathan for 16 months.

• My Nephew Trey (Dad's 1st Grandson) is now 18 years old!  There are now 4 more Grandchildren that Dad never got the chance to meet.  No, I did not have quadruplets! LOL :)  Lexi will be 10 tomorrow,  Hannah is 8, Tyler is 6 and Myles just turned 3. 

• Barack Obama is President of the United States.  The Presidential election is in 3 days and I cannot wait for it to be over!

• We are living in a post 9-11 world, and the world seems to be getting more and more violent.

• Mom has been battling cancer since 2 months after you passed away (February, 2000)

Life has changed since you went home to heaven Dad, in wonderful ways, and in some not so wonderful ways.  But one thing that won't change, is that I will always love you and miss you!

 

 

Happy 72nd Birthday Dad!  See you soon!

 

 

Love,

 

 

 

Jen Jen

 

 



The Day We Were Called To Step Up

 

     Life is full of changes.  I'm getting better with change, but I still don't like it, and I still have a hard time with it.  Change is even harder for me during the fall/winter months, as Seasonal Affective Disorder does affect me, no matter how many steps I take to prevent it and make it better.  We have been married for 15 months, and our first major life change as a married couple, began on September 26th, 2012, just 18 days ago.

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
Arnold Bennett

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
Alan Watts

"The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance."
Nathaniel Branden

  My Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2000 (2 months after my Dad, her Husband, passed away).  She has been battling this disease for almost 13 years.  She continues to work full time on her feet while receiving daily treatments.  My Mom turned 60 this Summer.  I'm thankful she has her Husband Don of 11 years, to care for her.  Jonathan's Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer August of 2010, but we weren't made aware of it until March of 2011.  Jonathan's Dad turned 67 this Summer.  I hate cancer.  It sucks!  Even more, I hate that the fact that the word cancer doesn't really phase me anymore because I've heard it SO much over the years in regards to family and friends. 

The newly married couple with my Mom 7/8/2011

Jonathan & his Dad Father's Day 2012

Me & my FIL Father's Day 2012

   Jonathan's Dad was hospitalized for approx 6 days before Father's Day of this year.  He was hospitalized again for approx 8 days in August.  We didn't find out until that time, that when he was first diagnosed, he already had stage 4 cancer.  When he left the hospital in August, he went to live with his daughter in Elkhart.  On September 26th, 2012, Jonathan got a call from a nurse at Elkhart General Hospital asking him to call her back in regards to his Dad.  We were of course concerned about Keith, but it also struck us as odd that Jonathan got the call, since Jonathan's Sister who lives in Elkhart was the contact person for the hospital.  To make a long (and extremely sad and complicated) story short, Jonathan's Dad's living situation suddenly changed.  We had no clue!  From the moment we arrived at the hospital that Wednesday evening, we knew we would need to step up to the plate and be there for Keith.  He had been living in his house for a week with no utilities.  He had lost 30 lbs since we saw him last. He needed us more now than ever.  We are the only 2 people he has who live in the area.  From that day forward, Jonathan became the contact person for the hospital. 

     During Keith's hospital stay, Jonathan worked with the Social Worker to determine where Keith would go after he was released.  Jonathan has learned so much about the ins and outs of Medicare and Medicaid.  Fun stuff!  NOT!  Keith was hospitalized for 9 days.  During his hospital stay Jonathan and I searched his truck and house for necessary paperwork to get him applied for medicaid.  It was then that we became aware of the horrendous conditions he had been living in the past week.  We were determined to never ever ever let him live there again, even if he needed to come live with us.  We had planned to go away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend of Oct 5th/6th, but cancelled the Tuesday before.  We knew we needed to be there for Keith. 

     Monday, October 1st, Jonathan stayed home because he caught the cold I had.  I decided that instead of going to Bible class at church, that I would go to visit Keith, because he needed me.  I am SO thankful God lead me to make the right choice. I didn't know until I got to his room that evening, that he had almost passed away overnight.  Keith told me that evening that he "asked Jesus to accept him today" and said "I hope He can forgive me!".  I told him that "He already has".  I also asked if I could pray with him before I left.  Wow!  I will never forget that evening as long as I live!  It was very special!  God certainly put me in the right place at the right time! :)

     It's been an emotional and exhausting 18 days for us.  Jonathan has been using most of his breaks/lunches at work to take care of getting his Dad applied for medicaid, getting him into a nursing home, etc.  The hospital released Keith on Friday, October 5th, 2012.  They transported him to a nursing home.  He is not well enough to live anywhere else.  We are both SO thankful to Jonathan's Sister Sandy and her family who were in town when he was transferred to the nursing home, and helped him get settled, and made sure he got the things he needed from the store.  It made us be able to focus better at work, knowing Keith had them to help him with this transition.  We are convinced Keith was well enough to leave the hospital because Sandy, Joel, and their 3 boys came to town to see him.  He needed to go to the Nursing Home. We both work full time and would not be able to be here to give him the 24 hour care he needs.  After coordinating it and finding wonderful people who were willing to help Notarize and Witness for us, Jonathan's Dad made him his Power Of Attorney on Wednesday.  This is a huge responsibility!  But one that my Husband knew he had to take on.  I am so proud of him for taking on this responsibility.  God truly has called us to serve Keith. 

     I found the following information on this website in regards to what being a POA entails: http://www.sbshlaw.com.

"It is always a good idea to discuss your expectations and wishes with whomever you plan to name in this important document, before you sign it. First of all, that person is going to have a lot of responsibility in the event of your incapacity. They may be responsible to write your checks, pay your bills, balance your accounts, manage your investments and file your tax returns among other things. It’s not so much an honor to be named in a durable power of attorney document as it is an immense responsibility."

     Yes, we both had full time jobs, and we both have our apartment to keep up, but we don't have a house, we don't have kids, we were planning on going to Hawaii in February, but we didn't have any HUGE responsibilities.  Our life has changed.  That is ok.  We will have the rest of our lives (God willing) to travel, etc.  But the important thing is that we are here for our parents when they need us.  Now is one of those times.  Keith needs us more than anyone right now.  He is adjusting to the nursing home.  We live in South Bend, and it is a good 35 minute drive for us to get to the nursing home.  Our goal is to go 2-3 times a week to visit him.  We want him to know that he is not alone.

We haven't really had much time to focus on each other, but we realize this needs to be a priority in our lives.  If we don't take care of ourselves and spend time together, we won't be any good for Keith.  I found the following information on this website:  http://life.familyeducation.com:

 

"Praise your spouse often when he or she is dealing with an aging parent. Let him or her know how difficult it is and how well he or she is managing things. Your praise will go a long way when your spouse is handling such an emotional issue. It's especially important to keep your relationship with each other strong. You might be feeling overwhelmed by time and energy commitments to a parent, but don't forget each other. Keep doing nice things for each other, treating each other nicely, and spending time together. Even if you cannot spend as much time together as you used to, make every effort to spend at least a reasonable amount of regular time together. You will best be able to support each other if you continue investing in the relationship."
 

     We want to put God first, our relationship second, Keith 3rd, but we also have jobs that we need to keep! :)  Yes, we won't be able to spend as much time together as we did before, but we are choosing to make it a priority in regards to our "New Normal".  Jonathan and I are incredibly blessed to have each other for help, support and encouragement during this difficult and challenging time.


     Keith asked Jonathan the other day if he could read the Bible with him.  That, my friends, makes all of this crap worth while! :)  We don't know how many days Keith has left on this earth, but we are convinced that God called us to serve Keith in this capacity right now.  I have to remember that God is in control of Keith's life, here and in heaven, and that I can do my best, but need to let go and let God. 

Please keep us all in your prayers, especially Keith!  Please pray that we will remain strong and will serve Keith in the way that God has called us to serve him.  Thank you!  :)

"God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."  James 1:12

J-La-Sta's First Thankful Thursday!

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get."   Frank Howard Clark

If you are anything like me, it's sometimes hard to be positive in a world filled with some "not so positive things"!  For me at least, it doesn't take work to dwell on the negatives, but it does take effort to count my blessings"!  While I was walking at the Mall today, I decided that I would start a new thing on my blog called "Thankful Thursday".  This week I had thought about keeping a daily journal of blessings.  This is kind of right along the same line with that idea.  I want to cultivate an "Attitude of Gratitude"!   This is just one of the ways I plan on doing that.  I am trying to live life in the present rather than in the past or future.  So when I list the things I am thankful for on my blog each Thursday, I will focus on things I am thankful for today and this week, not what I'm going to be thankful for next month.  So, here are the things I am thankful for (in no particular order) on this first "Thankful Thursday":

I'm thankful that this Father's Day was the 1st Father's Day I had a Father-In-Law.  This Father's Day was the best Father's Day I've had since my Dad passed away in 1999.  It wasn't that I didn't miss my Dad this Father's Day, cuz I did.  I think anyone who has lost a Mother or Father feels the loss much more acutely each Mother's Day or Father's Day.  It's completely normal, no matter how long it's been since your parent passed away.  I decided to honor my Dad's memory by going to visit his grave.  This Father's Day was different than the past 12 Father's Days, in that this was the first year I had a Father-In-Law.  My husband and I took him out to eat and celebrated the fact that he was out of the hospital!  Not only do I now have a Father-In-Law, but I have a Father-In-Law who thinks I'm awesome and who has told Jonathan numerous times recently, "She is a gem!  You couldn't have done any better!  She is a real pleasure to be around!" It feels good to be valued so highly by an earthly "Father figure" in my life. 

I'm thankful for so many hours of daylight.  Yesterday was the Summer Solstice, which means that it was the longest day of the year!  I love light!  I love the long days!  Summer is my best time of year and I'm thankful that it's here!  I plan to enjoy it!  I have much more energy this time of year!

I'm thankful my Mom is a fighter and I'm blessed to still have her in my life.  I saw her today while I was walking at the Mall.  She was working.  She continues to work full time.  She has battled cancer for 12.5 years.   She was first diagnosed at age 47 and she is now 59.  She is a Survivor! :)  She is currently getting 10 chemo shots a day for 5 days a week.  That's 50 shots a week!  They are very painful for her!  Yet she still works full time and continues to smile and have a positive attitude.  Continued prayers for her are appreciated!

I'm thankful my husband and I have the opportunity to work overtime at work.  While so many people are without work, we are blessed to have the opportunity to work more hours, which means more money, which means we can pay off debt faster and have extra money for our upcoming vacation.  We both have job security! :)

I'm thankful I have had today all to myself.  I work on Saturday so I had today off work.  It's so great to have a day to spend by myself!  I love my husband and I also love having some alone time once in a while!  I'm blessed!  I went to the BMV to renew my plates, I walked at the Mall, and now I'm hanging out at home.  It's been a great day off!

I hope my "Thankful Thursdays" will encourage you to also have an "Attitude of Gratitude"!  :)

What are you thankful for today?