I know someone who tends to "play the victim". "Playing the victim" is her default mode in dealing with life's inevitable problems. When she is overwhelmed, stressed and/or depressed, she tends to be "Vera Victim". Vera Victim is similar to Debbie Downer, but instead of being negative about everything, she just thinks her situation is harder than everyone else's situation, and that she has no way of making things better, She believes life just happens TO her, and that she has no choice but to get thru it, instead of taking control of her life, and making the most of the situation. Most of the time Vera Victim is buried, but she can be quite annoying when she reappears and falls back into her old way of thinking/being. I'm really good at recognizing when people are playing the victim. It gets really annoying sometimes and I often have to bite my tongue, especially on Facebook! It's the "woe is me" mentality. We all know people like this, but the reason that I'm so good at recognizing when someone is playing the victim, is that I AM Vera Victim! Yes ladies and gentlemen, my name is J-La-Sta and I am the queen of playing the victim!
I'm not proud of my Vera Victim mentality, but I am proud that I am being real about it! I first learned this about myself when I took a "Boundaries" class at Church 5 years ago. I've worked hard, with God's help, to overcome my Vera Victim mentality. It's natural for us to fall back to our "default mode" of being during stressful times. Right now is one of those times for me. It's December, it's dark, my Dad passed away in December, it's just my toughest month, and my thinking tends to be more negative. It may be my default mode, but I don't have to STAY in this mode. I have a choice! I want to choose Joy!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 5:13 NIV
Fact: On Christmas Eve, Jonathan works 9:00am-5:15pm and I work 9:45am-1:45pm. On New Years Eve Jonathan works 9:00am-5:15pm and I work 9:45am-6:00pm. We only have Christmas Day and New Years Day off for the Holidays.
Vera Victim Mentality: This really sucks! I SO need time off! Many people get the whole week off and all we get is Christmas Day and New Years Day!
Silver Lining Mentality: We are blessed to have jobs! While many people are unemployed, we are going to make our regular pay PLUS time and a half on Christmas Eve! We get to have Christmas Day and New Year's Day off AND get paid for these days. Many people who work in hospitals and nursing homes, etc, will be working on both of these days.
Life has been challenging for us the past 3 months, but I don't have to be Vera Victim! There will always be people who have things better/easier than us, but there will also be people who have things much worse/more difficult than we do!
So, Farewell Vera Victim, Joyful Jen is coming back!