A Work In Progress

A Work In Progress
Showing posts with label Married without Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Married without Children. Show all posts

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Caffeine Made Me CRAZY....Well, CRAZIER than my "Normal" CRAZY!!!! :-P


Yep!  You read that right!  I, J-La-Sta, haven't had coffee or caffeine (except for a tea I tried when there were no other caffeine free options) in 14 days!  I wish I had figured this out sooner, but by nixing caffeine, I am SO Much Calmer!  Life isn't an overwhelming thing for me like it was before.  Seriously, on a day off, I didn't want to go to the store, because that was "doing something".  It was hard enough just to muster up the energy to hold down a Full Time job (which I always have done).  I had little to no energy left for anything else.  Cooking Dinner was overwhelming.  Grocery shopping was overwhelming.  Laundry was overwhelming.  Even meeting up with a friend was often overwhelming.  On top of being overwhelmed with life, I was also incredibly anxious, and I of course felt guilty and bad for being overwhelmed and constantly anxious.  I told myself lies like "Christians aren't supposed to feel anxious", and that only made me feel more anxious.  I thought this anxiety was my cross to bear in life.  Little did I know that a HUGE cause of my extremely anxious and sleep-deprived self, was caffeine.

Previously I usually had about 16-18 ounces of coffee a day.  I would often sip on the same cup throughout the day and be finishing it as I left work at 6:00pm.   I know it's not good to drink coffee after Noon-2:00pm, but I've since found out that even drinking it in the morning can interfere with sleep.  I'm also on meds for anxiety and I read that caffeine can reduce the effectiveness of at least one of the meds by 50 percent.  I am also on another med that increases the length of time that my body takes to metabolize caffeine. Also, we Ladies can get by with not taking care of ourselves in our 20's and early 30's, but by late 30's - early 40's, we can't get by with that anymore.  At least I've found that I can't get by with that anymore, while at the same time living a healthy and happy life! :-)  I thought my extreme anxiety was caused by perimenopause.  Yes, I am in perimenopause and yes, anxiety is a major symptom of it, but caffeine affects women more as they age.  I guess sometimes I forget that I'm not 25 anymore! :-)

Since going off of caffeine, I have slept so much better!  The pics below show my sleep from the past 2 weeks.  It's been A-MAZ-ing!!!!!!  Losing weight has gotten easier since I'm sleeping instead of eating my points overnight! :-) 




I'm also much less overwhelmed and have much more energy, and that is greatly helping my Husband as well.  I've been cooking much more than I used to, and it doesn't overwhelm me or make me anxious, like it used to.  Take Today for example.  I went to Weight Watchers, did the grocery shopping, and had dinner in the crockpot before 2:00pm. 

You might be asking, REALLY, going off of caffeine has improved the quality of your life this much?  Yes, it surely has!  Do I miss drinking coffee?  Yes.  Did I have withdrawal symptoms?  No.  I was very blessed and never got headaches or anything, but I did sleep and have more energy since day 1 of no caffeine.

I know it's going off of caffeine that is making me feel much calmer.  Last Sunday at Church there was no decaf tea, so I tried regular tea.  Within a half hour, while sitting in church, I began to feel more anxious again.  I had my answer.  I MUST NOT HAVE CAFFEINE EVER AGAIN!  So, my new drink of choice has been peppermint herbal tea.  It's still hot and comforting! :-)

I wish I would have gone off of caffeine sooner, but I am very grateful that I now get GREAT Sleep and that I help my Husband so much more now.  I've learned that I'm actually NOT a bad wife, I was just so anxious and overwhelmed, that holding down a full time job took all the energy I had.

So, if I must veto caffeine for life to get sleep, and have the energy to live a productive life, than it's well worth the minor sacrifice! :-)



Tuesday, February 10, 2015

6 Things I've Learned in 6 Days of My 10 Day Break From Facebook


1.  Weekends (Life in General too) are more fun and relaxing without being on Facebook.

2.  Getting together with a Friend face to face is so much more rewarding than sitting in front of my laptop on Facebook for hours on end, especially for this extrovert.

3.  I don't want to give up on Facebook completely.  It is a good way to keep in touch with the happenings in the lives of my Family and Friends.  A Friend's Mom passed away and thankfully I heard about it a few days later from another Friend.  I would have known sooner had I not been on my Facebook break.

4.  For Years I wanted to be Married.  Now that I'm Married, why have I been spending so much time on FB, on my Laptop, in another room, while my Husband was in the Living Room Watching TV? This makes no sense.   We've spent more quality time together over the past 6 days.

5.  Not everything I say or do needs to be documented on Facebook.  Somehow my followers will survive without reading that I gained .6 lbs last Saturday at weigh in.  :-)

6.  Life is short and should be lived to the fullest, not spent staring at a screen waiting for someone to like my status update.




Saturday, August 2, 2014

I'm Too Young For This!!!!!!

  • My short term memory has been awful
  • Insomnia
  • Waking up drenched by my own sweat
  • Inability to focus
  • It's like CONSTANT PMS with no relief
  • Moodiness
  • Irritability
  • It's like PMS on Steroids
  • It's like Puberty in reverse
  • Etc
  • Etc
  • I'll spare you from reading all of the wonderful symptoms, you get the idea! :-)
Hello!  My Name is J-La-Sta and I am in Perimenopause!  Can I have PMS back please?  JUST PMS?  You know, where the irritability goes away once Aunt Flo comes to visit? :-) 

My Perimenopause Journey began last Fall.  Before Last October, I thought Menopause was something that happened to women in their 50's and 60's.  Then they had a few hot flashes, missed a few periods, and then they were done!  Oh if only life were that simple!  In my defense, most of my girlfriends who are my age and younger and even some who are older then me, thought the same thing.  So, that's why I'm here to raise awareness for Perimenopause!  Menopause does not actually happen until a woman has missed a period for a full year!!  Who knew?  I didn't until a year ago!  Up until that point, she is considered to be in Perimenopause.  I had never heard of the term before I entered this phase of life.  I thought I was dying, but I wasn't.  So Ladies, if you experience these symptoms, and most importantly if your periods become irregular, i.e. closer together, longer (like my 21 day period which came 2 weeks after my last period ended), heavier, further apart, you may be entering Perimenopause.  Am I on the early end of it?  Yes, I am!  But Perimenopause can start anywhere from age 35 to age 55.  Every woman is different.  I have now been in it for a year.  I was 39 years old when Perimenopause started for me.

This has been quite the roller coaster ride, but I'm thankful to have a caring, loving, and understanding Husband by my side! :-)

I have a Dr's Appt in 2 weeks, and hope to get some type of relief for my insomnia, night sweats, etc.

So, Obviously, I am NOT too young for this, even though I thought I was!   Every woman experiences it differently, but I would like to raise awareness, pave the way for friends who have yet to go thru it, or who are going thru it, and bring it out in the open.  It's real.  Let's be open and honest about it with the generations to come!  It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about!

Yes, It's real, and NO I'm not going crazy...well some days I do! :-)

Off to warn my Husband to wear a flotation device to bed, and to TRY and sleep! :-)



 
 

 
 
 
 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Dear December, I'm Starting To Like You! :)

Hello December,

I honestly don't remember a time when I didn't dread your coming, and did anything other than merely survive your visit!  I've never been a fan of cold weather, but the darkness your weather brings, does not help my situation.  It exacerbates my depression and it makes me want to hibernate, sleep, and eat cookie dough, LOTS and LOTS of cookie dough!  Oh, and I did spend many a December eating lots and lots of cookie dough!   It helped me feel better in the moment, but made me feel worse long term as my pant size kept moving up and up. 

Fourteen years ago something happened during your annual visit, that hurt me so very deeply and changed me forever.  My life would never be the same. Nor would I.  December 8th, 1999 my earthly Dad passed away.  He was 59 years old.  My Mom was now a 47 year old widow.  While the majority of my friends were  (and some still are) losing their Grandparents to death, I was experiencing the loss of my Dad.  I was 25 years old. My two Sisters were 24 and 21 years old.  

December of 1999 I was single and still trying to find my place in life.  I was still figuring out who I was.  Looking back, the new and improved 39 year old version of me sees that I was "just a baby" back then!  Since 1999, I have quite honestly hated you December! I'm just being real!  We were all still numb and in shock when Christmas Day came, just 2 weeks after Dad's funeral.  We, of course celebrated Christmas, but we were all just going thru the motions.  I was living in Wisconsin at the time.  I spent many a night alone and crying in my Apartment in Cudahy, WI.  

So now you know why I hated December, if you didn't already know!  It's the darkest month (I get Seasonal Affective Disorder), my Dad passed away in December right before Christmas, and being single for as long as I was, my singleness was only accentuated around the Holidays.  December used to only mean darkness, sadness, and loneliness for me.

Eleven years would pass before I would experience one of the happiest moments of my life, which happened to be in December.  December 10th, 2010 my now Husband Jonathan, asked me to marry him!!! :)  I of course said YES! :)  Here's a pic taken by my friends Chris and Holly the night of our engagement! :)



For the first time in eleven years, I had a happy event happen in my life in the darkest month of the year!  Thanks for that, Jonathan! :) We were Married on July 8th, 2011 and Christmas 2011 and 2012 we started making our own traditions.   I finally felt like I belonged and I finally had my Family! :)  He is my earthly rock! :)

Today is February 1st, 2014, and I just realized I never finished/posted this blog! Oops!  Better late than never, right?! :)  Anyways, last year (Dec of 2012), we had our 1st Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st.  I decorated with cheery, bright yellow decorations, and we celebrated the darkest day of the year with friends, knowing that from that day forward, we would be gaining daylight minutes!  YAY!! Now that's a reason to celebrate!  We had our 2nd Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st, 2013 and it was again, a huge success.  Everyone had a wonderful time, especially me! :)

The Winter Solstice Party Peeps, minus Matt, the Picture Taker (He didn't want to be in the pic anyways)!


 
Jonathan and I had a wonderful Christmas!  We spent Christmas Eve at my Sister's in St. Joseph, MI with immediate family.  It was great to be with Mom, Don, Grandma, and my Sister's and their Families (and of course my Hubs too!)! :)

Me and My Mom!


Me and My Hubby!

Christmas Day it is our tradition for it to be just us, hanging out at home together, with nowhere to be!  It was wonderful, as always! 

I also had lots of countdowns going on in December for my 40th Birthday, 40th Birthday Party, and our trip to Aruba (all in January). 

So, December, even though you still aren't my favorite month, I have to admit that I'm starting to like you, and making the most of your visit! :) 

See you in 10 months! :)

Love,


J-La-Sta

Sunday, October 27, 2013

PeriWHAT???????? Navigating This New, Unexpected, and Uncertain Time of My Life!

     *****MEN -  if you don't want to read about issues related to a woman's monthly friend please stop reading NOW!  :)  WOMEN - The purpose of this blog post is not to scare anyone, just to raise awareness.  It's ok to talk about hormonal imbalances ladies, this is a fact of life!  We don't need to suffer in silence.*****

     Before October 7th, 2013 I had this very inaccurate view of what I thought happened in Menopause. First of all, I thought Menopause was something that happened to women when they reached their 50's and 60's.  I am 39 (for another 67 days).  So naturally, this was something I didn't need to concern myself with for at LEAST 10 more years, right?  I seriously thought Menopause consisted of occasional hot flashes along with some missed periods.  Then, all of a sudden it was all over, and that was that!  Simple? Yes!  Naive?  Absolutely! I mentioned my former views about Menopause to some women who have gone/are going thru it and they laughed!  Yeah, I should know by now that things are rarely as easy as they appear to be from the outside looking in! LOL 

     So naturally, when my monthly friend came to visit just 2 weeks after the last friend showed up, I thought I was dying.  Cuz, you know, that WAS the most logical conclusion after all! :) LOL :P  We went to Immediate Care at the South Bend Clinic that evening. I was pulled aside by a Nurse and told that they could see me, but that there was probably nothing they could do for me.  Her next words will stick with me forever! She said "Honey, this is normal for a woman your age".  Huh??? WHAT??  This sure as heck was NOT normal for me!!!!  I am only 39 years old!! In all of my 25.5 years of having this monthly visitor, she was like clock work and within a few days of her expected arrival! Her visits were very predictable! She certainly never appeared 2 weeks early!!! That afternoon I had already called my OBGYN's Office and made an appointment with a Nurse Practitioner, but I couldn't get in to see her for another 9 days. No one seemed to think this was an emergency, except for me!  Although my Husband was quite concerned as well!
 
 
     In the meantime, I did some online research and learned about "Perimenopause", which is something that can begin anytime between the ages of 35 and 55. Why hadn't I been warned about this?  Upon describing my situation to some girlfriends, I realized that they had never heard of this happening either.  I hadn't been the only one kept in the dark! They all assumed, as I did, that as you neared menopause, your periods would be fewer and farther between, not that they could come more often and could sometimes WAY overstay their welcome. They all said they too would be concerned if this happened to them! 

I was relieved to find this blog site: http://www.theperimenopauseblog.com/.  The slogan is "Yes, It's Real & No, You're not going Crazy!" Phew!!!! :) That's good to know! :)


You may be asking What IS Perimenopause? 
Perimenopause, or menopause transition, is the stage of a woman's reproductive life that begins several years before menopause, when the ovaries gradually begin to produce less estrogen. It usually starts in a woman's 40s, but can start in a woman's 30s or even earlier. (WebMD.com).

Here are 35 Possible Symptoms of Perimenopause (These symptoms were taken from Healthline.com, written by Magnolia Miller on Feb 23rd, 2012):
  • Hot flashes, hot flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
  • Irregular heart beat
  • Irritability
  • Mood swings, sudden tears
  • Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
  • Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
  • Loss of libido
  • Vaginal dryness
  • Crashing fatigue
  • Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
  • Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
  • Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
  • Disturbing memory lapses
  • Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
  • Itchy, crawly skin
  • Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
  • Increased tension in muscles
  • Breast tenderness
  • Headache change: increase or decrease
  • Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
  • Sudden bouts of bloat
  • Depression
  • Exacerbation of existing conditions
  • Increase in allergies
  • Weight gain
  • Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
  • Dizziness, vertigo, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
  • Changes in body odor
  • Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
  • Tingling in the extremities
  • Gum problems, increased bleeding
  • Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
  • Osteoporosis (after several years)
  • Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
  • Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc.
"The hallmark of perimenopause is the erratic, unpredictable symptoms which literally seem to come out of nowhere. As a result, women often feel confused, powerless, and overwhelmed which, unfortunately, only exacerbates the symptoms and intensifies the feelings of losing control. 
If you are having a difficult time coping with the symptoms of perimenopause, it is very important that you understand it is not a sign of mental weakness or a lack of self-control.  And though it may seem as if the symptoms will never end, they do.  And if you’re still feeling crazy after that, just remember what George Carlin said, “It’s because men are stupid.”  (Magnolia Miller - Healthline.com - June 18, 2012)


     I went to see the Nurse Practitioner the morning of October 16th.  My special visitor lingered on and was still there when I went to see her.  At this point, it was day 10 of her visit.  The NP said they could do an endometrial biopsy to rule out uterine cancer, they could do an ultrasound, or we could wait and see what next month would bring. Wait and see what next month would bring???  I wanted to end this months visit first!!! :)  I chose to have the endometrial biopsy done to be proactive and/or to ease my peace of mind. She also did an exam, and said everything was as it should be, and that there were no fibroids or anything. I was told they would call me with the results in 5 days or so.  Thankfully, just two days later I was told the results of the endometrial biopsy were normal.  Phew! I did not have Uterine Cancer.  Praise Jesus! :) That was a huge relief!  I was still concerned though, I mean my friend was STILL visiting and it was day 12.  What was going on?

     The next week I was exhausted and it was heavier than it had ever been.  I felt weak and it was a struggle just to get thru my normal days of work.  My NP had me get a blood test on Tuesday evening, so they could see if I was anemic.  My NP Appointment was also moved up from Thursday to Wednesday.  When I went to my Appointment my friend had now been visiting for 17 days, yep you read that right, SEVENTEEN DAYS!!!!  My NP told me I was not anemic.  When I asked her if she thought I was in Perimenopause she said she thought it was probably too early for that, i.e. that I was too young.  She did suggest I start taking a low dose birth control pill to even out my hormones and therefore make my period go away. It was around this time that my theme song became the song by "The Band Perry" which is called "All I Want To Be Is DONE"! LOL Jonathan laughed at me when I started singing it and calling it my new theme song after I heard it performed on The Voice last week! :)

     Before this point in my life, I had always been against taking a birth control pill for myself.  However, this now became a completely medical decision for me. It was affecting my energy and my daily life.  My hormones were obviously completely out of whack!  With all of the research I have done over the past 3 weeks, I am now convinced that I have started the "Perimenopause" phase of my life.  I still am surprised that I had never heard of this before and was so ignorant about this phase of a woman's life.  Why isn't it discussed?  Why don't older women give younger women the heads up about this? If they did, would we even believe it? Probably not because it's just so CRAZY!  LOL  Some women (like my Mother, sail thru Menopause).  She NEVER had any of the symptoms I am experiencing, therefore she couldn't warn me about them!

      I obviously don't have all of the answers, but I do know that I want to raise Perimenopause awareness and warn those my age and younger of things that could  affect them in the future.  Granted, I am on the young end for it to be happening to me.  From what I read it seems 45 is the average age for the onset of Perimenopause.  But, I am a woman and I know my body and I know that something has definitely changed! I've learned that perimenopause can start earlier in women who have never been pregnant.  I have never been pregnant.  I also have learned that the age at which a woman's Mother went thru Menopause is a determining factor in predicting when you might go thru Menopause. My Mom was completely done at 47.  Therefore it stands to reason, that with my Mom going thru Menopause earlier than the average, along with the fact that I have never been pregnant, that I would go thru it sooner than the majority of my peers.  FYI:  It isn't considered Menopause until a woman has gone 12 months without a period.  "The average age of a woman having her last period, menopause, is 51. But, some women have their last period in their forties, and some have it later in their fifties. - See more at: http://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/menopause".

     I hope and pray that "Lo Loestrin Fe" will help to balance out my hormones. What I've learned from my research about Perimenopause is that it is a very unpredictable and uncertain time in a woman's life.  That's exactly how I feel!  It's quite unsettling, although not nearly as unsettling now that I've realized this is "normal", whatever that is! LOL :) I have a feeling, that like it or not, I'm in for the hormonal ride of my life!  I can't change it, so I might as well roll with it!  In case you were wondering, my visitor finally left (for now at least, after her 19/20 day unwelcomed visit!).  I'm so blessed to have such a caring, wonderful, supportive, and encouraging Husband by my side!

     Oh, and one more thing.  I've read that Perimenopause is like Puberty in reverse!  Oh JOY of all JOYS! LOL :)  Women, we don't need to suffer in silence!  It's nothing to be ashamed of!  It's ok to talk about our female issues!  Let's warn the next generation! If something changes with your body, get it checked out!  It's always good to rule out the worst case scenarios, but I just wanted to make you aware that if something like what happened to me, happens to you, it really could be "Normal", as CRAZY as that may seem! :) 

  

Friday, November 23, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving 2012!!

I hope you all had a very blessed Thanksgiving!  Ours was wonderful!  We got to spend it with loved ones, and were blessed with a 60 degree sunny day!  Happy Holidays from our Family to yours!


Monday, November 19, 2012

We Have Been Married For 500 Days Today!

J & J - 7/8/2011 - Clearwater Beach, FL
 
Those of you who know me, know that I am a numbers girl!  I love dates and numbers!  Well, today we have been married for 500 days!  In my opinion, that is blog worthy for sure! :)  I also find it interesting that our first date was 1,137 days ago.  We have almost been married for half of the time we have been together! 
 
Looking back, we realize that our 1st year of marriage was a breeze!  We are thankful that we could just be Newlyweds for a year and not have any other major life events happen during that year of adjustment.  Marriage is an adjustment (especially for those of us who have been single well into our 30's.), but it is a happy adjustment.  Change is hard, but good change is MUCH easier than the changes the past few months have brought us.
 
We are learning more now about some of the "worse" parts of our "for better or worse" vows.  Life has been anything BUT easy for us the past 2 months.  The things we are dealing with, most people wouldn't expect to have to deal with until well into their 40's, 50's and even 60's.  Jonathan's Dad is only 67, but he has had Stage IV lung cancer for 2 years and 3 months.  He also has COPD.  My Mom is only 60, but has been battling cancer for almost 13 years now.  Emotionally, that's a lot for us to handle in and of itself.  But it's not just dealing with the emotional part of it.  We had to put Jonathan's Dad in a nursing home and Jonathan is now the Power of Attorney for his Dad.  We are his only weekly/twice a week visitors and the nursing home is 30 minutes away from us.  We both work full time outside the home.  We may not have children, but we (especially Jonathan) do have a LOT of responsibility!  Jonathan has learned A LOT (more than he ever thought he would have to know at age 37) about Medicaid, Medicare, Nursing Homes, Cemeteries, Funeral Insurance, FMLA, etc, the past few months. 
 
This has been a very stressful time for us.  We have been flying by the seat of our pants. Uncertainty is hard to deal with.  While we don't know what the future holds, we do know that God has been with us every step of the way, and will continue to give us His strength.  He saw to it that Keith was approved for Medicaid the FIRST time, and for that we are very thankful!  Jonathan has said he wants to use the knowledge he has gained to help friends when/if they have to go thru this stuff with their aging parents.
 
Jonathan and I are extremely grateful that we have each other during this dreary time in our lives.  I think overall we are doing as well as we can be doing given the circumstances.  Things have settled down a little bit now that Keith has been approved for Medicaid.  We are looking forward to 3 nights away for my Birthday after the New Year!
 
This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that Keith has accepted Jesus.  I'm also thankful that Jonathan is my Husband and that we are a team...for better or for worse.  I'm thankful that we are blessed to spend another Thanksgiving with my Mom and with Jonathan's Dad.  Life is short, but life is precious.  We are learning to live in the moment.  None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. 
 
We know this too shall pass, but for now, we cling to Jesus and to each other.
 
Our Marriage verse was "God sets the lonely in families".  We may feel weary and overwhelmed, but we are not lonely. 
 
Thank you Lord for my 500th day of being married to the love of my life.  I waited and waited, but you were faithful, as always!
 
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  Savor every minute you are blessed to have with your loved ones this Holiday Season! :)
 
Love,
 
 
 
J-La-Sta



 



Photobucket


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Random Thoughts By J-La-Sta

  1. My husband and I need a break from life.
  2. It's been 7 weeks today since Jonathan's Dad went into the hospital and J started the process of becoming POA for his Dad, which changed our lives dramatically.
  3. I will never again say "this is a piece of cake compared to what I went thru alone as a single person".  As soon as I said that, God started to challenge us!
  4. I hate the end of daylight saving time.
  5. I hate these short days.
  6. I know that I start to feel better after the New Year starts.
  7. Only 36 more days till we start to gain daylight instead of losing it.
  8. I am thankful that my my mammogram came back normal! 
  9. I'm thankful Jonathan's Dad was approved for Medicaid.
  10. I HATE cancer.  I hate what it does to my Mom and I hate what it is doing to my FIL.
  11. I can't believe December 8th it will have been 13 years since my Dad passed away.
  12. I got an email from parents.com informing me my baby is the size of a cantaloupe at 21 weeks.....UMMM.....Really???  Do they know something I don't?  Our plate is already quite full!
  13. It's a challenge to stay positive when there is so much negative going on in the lives of those we love.
  14. I know God has a plan and will work things out for the good of those who love Him, but it doesn't mean we don't get weary, stressed, and sad.
  15. Speaking of SAD, I hate Seasonal Affective Disorder and what it does to me.
  16. There will always be people who have things "easier" than you, and there will always be people who have things "much harder" than you.
  17. Sometimes life just sucks and is incredibly overwhelming.
  18. My Vitamin D levels were great, much to my surprise!
  19. We are both looking forward to having 4 very much needed days off in a row for Thanksgiving!  Only 5 more days of work for me and 6 more days of work for Jonathan.
  20. We plan to treasure time with loved ones over the Holidays.  Life is short and we need to savor the memories.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

We Are Content Being A Family of Two!

Yes, my Husband and I are a FAMILY of two!  We believe that our family is complete! :)

Our First Date As a Married Couple - Clearwater Beach, FL


We are not planning on having any children.  However, we also know that the Creator of life may have other plans. (In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9)  We are 100% Pro-Life, so if God chooses otherwise, we will be happy with His plan and embrace His gift of life.  That being said, my life just hasn't been the "get engaged in college, get married right after college, have kids right away" type of life that many of my friends have had.  I haven't followed the typical"/expected" path.  That hasn't been God's plan for me.  I used to not like being different,  but now I love it!  I'm Jennifer Stanley, not Suzie Homemaker. Neither do I consider myself to be a "Career Woman".  I work to live, not live to work.  Anyways, there will most likely not be a television show called "Jon & Jen Plus (Insert any number here)".  It's more like "0 Kids & Not Counting"!  I will be 39 in January, not 22.  Some days I hardly have the energy to work full time and take care of myself and be a wife, so I don't know how I would have the energy to be a Mom at this point in my life!.  I do know that God never gives us more than we can handle.  Which is why my best friend has 4 boys, and I don't.  He knew she could handle it and be a great Mom, too!  I also am on medications that are working that I could not be on if I were pregnant. 

What people might assume about us (or others) because of our (their) choice to not have children:

1. We are selfish.  Yep, we are human and we can all be selfish at times.  However, I wouldn't consider us to be selfish people.  I don't believe our reasons for not wanting children are selfish.  We love to serve God and others with our time and money, and we can do that in ways that we couldn't do if we had children. 


2. We don't like children.  Wrong!  We love kids, and they really do love us too! :)Have you seen pictures of us with our Nephews/Nieces?  We all have fun when we are together!  They especially love to climb on Uncle Jonathan!  We get to enjoy our Nephews/Nieces and (hopefully) be good examples for them.  Just because we love children, doesn't mean we want to raise some of our own.


3. We want to spend all of our money on ourselves.  I would be lying if I said we didn't have things, such as traveling that we want to do!  However, we love giving of our time and money to God, family and friends!  We are very Blessed!  We want to get out of debt (which we will be very shortly!) so that we can continue to give and be a blessing to others.  We are choosing to live well beneath our means in order to do so.
Some "not so great" reasons to have children (in my opinion):

1. In case we might someday regret not having children.  Not a good reason to have kids.  It sounds a bit selfish, because it's all about "us". " I'll have kids so I don't feel regret later in life". 

2. To have someone to take care of us when we get old.  There are no guarantees in life.  Having children just so there will be someone to take care of us when we are old, would not be fair to the kids, nor is it necessarily realistic.  In this day and age people relocate more now than ever, and families often don't live in close proximity to each other.  In my opinion, having children for this reason is more selfish than choosing not to have children.  Plus, I'm the type of person who will be talking with everyone and having fun even when I'm in a Nursing Home!

3. Because many of our friends have children/are having children.  We've all heard this one:  "If your friends jumped off of a cliff, would you jump off of a cliff too??"  Umm, NO!  Not a good idea to do something just because everyone else is or is not doing it!  Many of my friends got married in their early to mid 20's.  Did that mean that I should have settled for any guy that came along just so I could "be married like everyone else"?  Absolutely not!  I'm SO glad I didn't do that and waited for my Mr. Right!  God has been So Faithful to me and to us! :)

4. To get unconditional love.  First of all, God is the only person that can give pure unconditional love!  Second of all, if we want unconditional love, we can get a dog!  Having kids is about the kids and what we can do for them, what we get from them is just an added bonus!


*****We <3 Being "Aunt Jenny & Uncle Jonathan"!*****
We Are The Coolest Aunt & Uncle Ever, and Humble Too! :)