What I've Learned In My 1st 95 Days of Marriage

     As you probably have already guessed after reading the Title of this post, we have been married for 95 days today!  :) Wow!  Time flies! In some ways I feel so comfortable with Jonathan that it feels like we have been together forever.  In other ways, I can't believe we've been married for over 3 months already!  I would be lying if I said this transition has been 100% smooth sailing.  After all, we are 2 human beings who only had to think about ourselves for years.  This isn't to say we were selfish people, it's just that we didn't have anyone else to consider in day to day living.  If I wanted to watch "The Notebook" on a Friday evening, I would watch "The Notebook". If Jonathan wanted to watch "Lord of The Rings", he would watch "Lord of The Rings.  We can still watch those movies, but now there is someone else's opinions/preferences to consider as well.  Jonathan turned 36 two days after the wedding.  I turned 37 in January. (I'm such a "cougar"!) We both had a long time to get "set in our ways".  All in all we are both very happy!  We are beginning our marriage on the foundation of the one who created marriage.  I think I appreciate Jonathan and my marriage to him so much more, simply because I had to wait for him for a very long time.  I know what it's like to be alone, to not be part of a family, to not have someone know if you live or die on your drive home.  Sad, but true.  Now I see clearly that God was preparing me for my "Mr. Right".  I'm learning that His ways are ALWAYS best.  He knows what is best for me.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

Here are the Top 5 Things I've learned in My 1st 95 Days of Marriage (in no particular order):

1. I'm thankful for commitment.  The first 2 weeks after we moved into "our" new place were a bit rough.  We were both used to living alone.  We both, especially me, don't like change. There were many times that we butted heads.  It was in those times that I understood why the commitment of a marriage (till death do us part) is so important. God knows that too! :) I'm happy to say things are much better now that we've had more time to adjust!
2. If I'm focusing on something I think Jonathan needs to work on, I more than likely need to turn the focus back to what I can do to work on improving myself.  I can't control him, nor should I try to, but I should be focusing on how I can become a better person/wife, not focusing on what I "think" he needs to work on.
3. I'm learning balancing marriage with my social life is easier said than done. All of you singles out there know what I mean when I say singles can feel forgotten because their friends are so busy with their husbands and children.  I still don't fully understand how hectic life with children can be, but I do have more of an understanding of the fact that even in a marriage, there is less time to devote to friends.   Maintaining and growing our friendships with others is very important to both of us.  I'm very thankful for that!  Jonathan has his times with his guy friends, and I have my times with my girlfriends.  We also do things with other couples.  When I lived alone, I was texting/calling friends a lot more than I am now.  I finally feel like I belong.  I belong with Jonathan.  I'm still working at finding balance in time with Jonathan and time with friends.  It may be a little more challenging because we work such different work hours and only have 1 weekend off together a month. 
4. Sex is not as big of a part of a marriage as we both had made it out to be in our heads before we got married. Don't get me wrong, sex is wonderful and God's plan for marriage is best!  We are far from perfect, but with God's help, we both waited to have sex until after we were married.  Yes, I know this is practically unheard of now a days, but we are both glad we waited. When you feel you "can't have something (due to Christian beliefs"..ie...sex before marriage)"...it makes it that much more appealing.  All thru my 20's and 30's,  I hoped I would get married soon so I could have sex before Jesus came to take me home to heaven, whether at the end of the world, or thru death.  We both have said that we built it up so much in our heads, and gave it far too much importance prior to marriage.  It's an awesome part of marriage, but it's not everything. We are learning together and I'm thankful we don't have baggage to deal with in this area of our life together.
5. The financial aspect of our lives is SO much easier with 2 incomes and 1 rent.  This is NOT a reason to get married, but once you find the right one, this is a HUGE perk! :) I had NO idea how much easier it would be before I got married.  I had always supported myself and lived alone.  After we got married, I changed my marital status for my taxes.  I did not change the deductions, yet I am getting over $93.00 extra in my checks each month!  We are paying less on auto insurance due to the multi-car discount, we only have 1 rent to pay and we no longer have to save/pay for the wedding!  We just paid off the rings (no interest!) last weekend!  In less than a year we will be debt Free! :)  However, it is also important to note, that we both learned how to handle our finances and get a grip on them before we got married.   We are now tithing faithfully and can't wait to be debt free.