Happy Valentines Day To The Love Of My Life!!

It really is true what they say, that after you have been Married for a while, Valentine's Day isn't nearly as big of a deal as it used to be.  When I was Single I always felt left out and felt as if my Singleness was accentuated on that day.  Everyone else had a Valentine (or so I thought), but I didn't.  I have learned that Real Everyday Married Love goes so much deeper than the love that can be expressed on February 14th every year. 

Real Love is choosing to change unhealthy lifestyles together because of your love for the other person and your love for yourself.  Real Love is supporting each other thru caring for and watching a parent die of cancer.  Real Love is being there when your spouse is hospitalized and has surgery even though your Dad just died 2 days prior.  Real Love is going with each other to the grave sites of our earthly Fathers.  Real Love is going to support a loved one during a sentencing hearing.  Real Love is choosing to love each other even on days when we don't feel so lovable.  Real Love is living everyday life with all of it's stressors and ups and downs.

We have lived a lot of life in our 1317 days of Marriage.  The loss and struggles we have experienced together, have only made us stronger.  Together we have accomplished far more than we could have individually.  This Covenant Marriage is no doubt God's design.  We aren't the same people we were the day we got Married.  Jonathan hit his goal weight at weight watcher's today.  He is 115 pounds lighter than the day we got Married.  I have lost a lot of weight myself.  We are also debt free.  Both weight loss and debt loss require sacrifice and not giving in to our every whim and feeling and want.  Going thru these processes together has taught us discipline.  We are Happy!  We are Healthy!  We are Blessed!  We are Thankful!

I Love You Baby!  There is no one else I'd rather be doing life with!  Thank you for your extreme patience with me thru all of these lovely hormonal changes that no one warned me about!  You are the Best!  You are one of the hardest working, most caring, most loving, most accepting people I know!  Thank you for Daily Teaching me about Love and Grace!  I can't wait to share your 40th Birthday with you at Fenway Park!  I know we will feel God's presence and your Dad's presence in those precious moments together!  We leave on our NYC/Boston Trip in just 140 days!  In 144 days we will celebrate our 4th Wedding Anniversary and in 146 days we will be at Fenway Park celebrating your 40th Birthday while we watch the Red Sox hopefully beat the Yankees!  I cannot wait to experience that with you because I love You! 

Happy Valentine's Day Mr. Stanley!  I will love you until God calls me home...cuz...well...I am the "Cougar" in this Relationship! :-)

Here's to many more Valentines Days together, but most importantly, many more days of living everyday life together!

I am SO PROUD of You and Proud of the Man you are, have become, and are becoming! 

Love Always,


Mrs. Stanley

Precious Peace

Peace

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. ~Unknown

 

One of the Most Peaceful Places I Know - Mackinac Island

 

I have never in my life known and experienced such internal peace as the peace I know now!  It's taken 40 plus years, but looking back, I see how God has used every loss and every struggle I have experienced in life, to bring me to this point of Joy and Peace.  Yes, I knew all along that God was in control (in my head that is), and I knew that I "should" feel peace, but I didn't "really" feel peace (which I felt guilty about).  I didn't have that confident hope deep in my heart, deep in my being.  I wasn't completely filled with joy and peace.  I had heard (and memorized) many of the Bible verses about peace before, but you know what?  They hadn't sunk deep into my heart.  It was just head knowledge. 

As I've been reflecting on why that was, I've realized that for most of my life, I saw God as more of a Controlling Judge who pointed out my wrong doings, than a Loving Father.  I didn't know in my heart that the Character of God is (and always has been) Loving.  I didn't believe in my heart that He Loved me REGARDLESS, and IN SPITE OF, what I have done or haven't done.  I didn't believe that he ALWAYS has my best interest at heart.  In my mind, His Love was based on my performance.  Fear of punishment is no way to live.  It makes me sad that I, in essence, was so self-righteous, that I believed my "trying to be perfect" would earn His Love.  It is SO FREEING to FINALLY GET that He Loves me.  He Loves ME.  He Loves ME because HE IS LOVE!  He Loved me when I was a Lutheran, and He Loves me Now and He would Love me if I was an agnostic and He would Love me if I was an atheist.  He Loves ME!  He is NOT out to get me! 

Guess What?  He LOVES YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You can't DO anything to make Him Love you More and NOTHING you could DO could ever make Him Love you any less!

I LOVE the New Living Translation of the Bible!  What I knew before was head knowledge.  This Version helps me read all of the verses I grew up knowing, in a different light.  That's why it FEEDS my HEART the way I need it to be fed.

So, whatever comes my way, good or bad, whether I have 2 Months, 3 Years, or 40 Years left on this earth, I KNOW without a doubt, that HE IS GOOD and HE IS LOVING! That's a GREAT Place to be in Life! :-)

My Definition of Peace:

Praise Him Knowing with Absolute Certainty that
Everything is ALWAYS in His Capable Hands
And that He will Lovingly
Care for Me and Guide Me thru this Life and into
Eternity with Him Forevermore.

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13 NLT

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!  His faithful love endures forever." 
Psalms 136:1 NLT

"For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow."
James 1:3 NLT

"They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them."
Psalm 112:7 NLT

I'm Too Young For This!!!!!!

• My short term memory has been awful
• Insomnia
• Waking up drenched by my own sweat
• Inability to focus
• It's like CONSTANT PMS with no relief
• Moodiness
• Irritability
• It's like PMS on Steroids
• It's like Puberty in reverse
• Etc
• Etc
• I'll spare you from reading all of the wonderful symptoms, you get the idea! :-)

Hello!  My Name is J-La-Sta and I am in Perimenopause!  Can I have PMS back please?  JUST PMS?  You know, where the irritability goes away once Aunt Flo comes to visit? :-) 

My Perimenopause Journey began last Fall.  Before Last October, I thought Menopause was something that happened to women in their 50's and 60's.  Then they had a few hot flashes, missed a few periods, and then they were done!  Oh if only life were that simple!  In my defense, most of my girlfriends who are my age and younger and even some who are older then me, thought the same thing.  So, that's why I'm here to raise awareness for Perimenopause!  Menopause does not actually happen until a woman has missed a period for a full year!!  Who knew?  I didn't until a year ago!  Up until that point, she is considered to be in Perimenopause.  I had never heard of the term before I entered this phase of life.  I thought I was dying, but I wasn't.  So Ladies, if you experience these symptoms, and most importantly if your periods become irregular, i.e. closer together, longer (like my 21 day period which came 2 weeks after my last period ended), heavier, further apart, you may be entering Perimenopause.  Am I on the early end of it?  Yes, I am!  But Perimenopause can start anywhere from age 35 to age 55.  Every woman is different.  I have now been in it for a year.  I was 39 years old when Perimenopause started for me.

This has been quite the roller coaster ride, but I'm thankful to have a caring, loving, and understanding Husband by my side! :-)

I have a Dr's Appt in 2 weeks, and hope to get some type of relief for my insomnia, night sweats, etc.

So, Obviously, I am NOT too young for this, even though I thought I was!   Every woman experiences it differently, but I would like to raise awareness, pave the way for friends who have yet to go thru it, or who are going thru it, and bring it out in the open.  It's real.  Let's be open and honest about it with the generations to come!  It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about!

Yes, It's real, and NO I'm not going crazy...well some days I do! :-)

Off to warn my Husband to wear a flotation device to bed, and to TRY and sleep! :-)