I honestly don't remember a time when I didn't dread your coming, and did anything other than merely survive your visit! I've never been a fan of cold weather, but the darkness your weather brings, does not help my situation. It exacerbates my depression and it makes me want to hibernate, sleep, and eat cookie dough, LOTS and LOTS of cookie dough! Oh, and I did spend many a December eating lots and lots of cookie dough! It helped me feel better in the moment, but made me feel worse long term as my pant size kept moving up and up.
Fourteen years ago something happened during your annual visit, that hurt me so very deeply and changed me forever. My life would never be the same. Nor would I. December 8th, 1999 my earthly Dad passed away. He was 59 years old. My Mom was now a 47 year old widow. While the majority of my friends were (and some still are) losing their Grandparents to death, I was experiencing the loss of my Dad. I was 25 years old. My two Sisters were 24 and 21 years old.
December of 1999 I was single and still trying to find my place in life. I was still figuring out who I was. Looking back, the new and improved 39 year old version of me sees that I was "just a baby" back then! Since 1999, I have quite honestly hated you December! I'm just being real! We were all still numb and in shock when Christmas Day came, just 2 weeks after Dad's funeral. We, of course celebrated Christmas, but we were all just going thru the motions. I was living in Wisconsin at the time. I spent many a night alone and crying in my Apartment in Cudahy, WI.
So now you know why I hated December, if you didn't already know! It's the darkest month (I get Seasonal Affective Disorder), my Dad passed away in December right before Christmas, and being single for as long as I was, my singleness was only accentuated around the Holidays. December used to only mean darkness, sadness, and loneliness for me.
Eleven years would pass before I would experience one of the happiest moments of my life, which happened to be in December. December 10th, 2010 my now Husband Jonathan, asked me to marry him!!! :) I of course said YES! :) Here's a pic taken by my friends Chris and Holly the night of our engagement! :)
For the first time in eleven years, I had a happy event happen in my life in the darkest month of the year! Thanks for that, Jonathan! :) We were Married on July 8th, 2011 and Christmas 2011 and 2012 we started making our own traditions. I finally felt like I belonged and I finally had my Family! :) He is my earthly rock! :)
Today is February 1st, 2014, and I just realized I never finished/posted this blog! Oops! Better late than never, right?! :) Anyways, last year (Dec of 2012), we had our 1st Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st. I decorated with cheery, bright yellow decorations, and we celebrated the darkest day of the year with friends, knowing that from that day forward, we would be gaining daylight minutes! YAY!! Now that's a reason to celebrate! We had our 2nd Annual Winter Solstice Party on December 21st, 2013 and it was again, a huge success. Everyone had a wonderful time, especially me! :)
 |
| The Winter Solstice Party Peeps, minus Matt, the Picture Taker (He didn't want to be in the pic anyways)! |
 |
| Me and My Mom! |
 |
| Me and My Hubby! |
Christmas Day it is our tradition for it to be just us, hanging out at home together, with nowhere to be! It was wonderful, as always!
I also had lots of countdowns going on in December for my 40th Birthday, 40th Birthday Party, and our trip to Aruba (all in January).
So, December, even though you still aren't my favorite month, I have to admit that I'm starting to like you, and making the most of your visit! :)
See you in 10 months! :)
Love,
J-La-Sta
No comments:
Post a Comment