Bring It All Together

I hear you say
That you can't go on
Cause you had it all and watched it fall away
You feel betrayed
Cause everything's gone wrong
Can't find the strength to hope for a better day
We may not understand the reasons
But I know His promise will never change

(Chorus)
He's gonna take your pain
He's gonna take your doubt
He's gonna bring it all together, bring it all together
Gonna make you happy
He's gonna make you laugh out loud
He's gonna bring it all together
Bring it all together for good

You say you're livin your life
Doing the best you can
Wondering if the struggle means anything
If you realized that it's in His hands
You'll find the peace that sweet surrender brings
Well, we may not understand the reasons
But His promise will never change

He's gonna take your pain
He's gonna take your doubt
He's gonna bring it all together,
Bring it all together
Gonna make you happy
He's gonna make you laugh out loud
He's gonna bring it all together
Bring it all together for good

I know there will come a day of healing
Then We will see the master plan
We will celebrate His faithfulness
And we'll sing (sing) and we'll shout (shout)
Praise His name

Verse of The Day!

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Romans 5:3-4

God isn't finished with me yet! :)

A "Singleness Sucks" Weekend

Any of you who are single know what I mean by the title. This weekend was one of those "Singleness Sucks" weekends. I'm just being real! People have families, people have husbands/boyfriends, people have lives. For those of us who are single, long weekends are often hard. There is just too much time to feel lonely and dwell on the fact that we are alone. People are busy living their lives and those plans often don't include us. Sure, if I had the money, I would travel on long weekends, but I don't. I'm thankful that I volunteered in the Nursery on Saturday and my friends prayed for me. I'm thankful for my Women's Group that met last night, and I'm thankful I have a friend who invited me to go to a movie with her today. It was a funny movie and nice to have Company! Then I came home and found this devotion on the internet. God knows my longings and understands my loneliness, but most of all He wants to be the one to fulfill my longings.

I'm hoping this devotion can help you, whether you are married or single.

Our Longings, God's Fulfillment


Compiled by Fern Horst
Devotion Found on singleness.org

We have many God-given longings that we'd like to have fulfilled. We often think that they can be fulfilled only by another human being. While God does use other humans to demonstrate love to us, He also wants to fulfill these longings with Himself. Consider these Words from Scripture as you identify your personal longings and God's promise of fulfillment.
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I want to be loved.
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. (Jeremiah 31:3)

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I want to belong to someone.
But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself. (Psalms 4:3)
But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. (Isaiah 43:1)

Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. (Isaiah 49:15-16)

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I want to be cherished.
Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life. (Isaiah 43:4)
The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

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I want someone to fulfill my heart's desires.
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4)

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I want someone who will always love me, no matter what.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-89)

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I want someone to be with me through the hard times of life, and to protect me. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. (Isaiah 43:2)
Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. (Psalms 32:7)

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I want someone I can draw strength from.
The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace. (Psalms 29:11)
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. (Psalms 31:24)

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13)

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I want someone to be with me when I am afraid.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (Isaiah 41:10)

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I want someone to comfort me.
The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. (Psalms 34:18)
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. (Psalms 147:3)

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. (John 14:18)

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

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I want someone to help me with life's burdens.
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. (Psalms 55:22)
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

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I want someone to hold me.
The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Deuteronomy 33:27)
Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually. (Psalms 119:117)

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I want someone to be with me.
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Joshua 1:9)

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I want someone to live with me who loves me.
The beloved of the LORD shall dwell in safety by him; and the LORD shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders. (Deuteronomy 33:12)

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I want someone to make me happy.
For the joy of the LORD is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

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I want someone to protect me from those who would harm me.
Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength. (Psalms 31:4)
Thou shalt hide them in the secret of thy presence from the pride of man: thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues. (Psalms 31:20)

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I want someone to shower me with nice gifts.
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

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I want someone who inspires me.
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3)

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I want someone who is always consistent.
That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil. (Hebrews 6:19)
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. (Hebrews 13:8)

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I want someone who will pray for me.
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. (Romans 8:26-27)

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I want to be able to call someone when I'm in trouble.
The LORD will hear when I call unto him. (Psalms 4:3)
The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. (Psalms 34:15)

The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. (Psalms 34:17)




© 1999 Fern Horst

Let It Go by Tenth Avenue North

He Is My Sunshine!

Courage by Max Lucado

Courage
by Max Lucado

The disciples were alone in the storm for nine tempestuous hours. Long enough for more than one disciple to ask, “Where is Jesus? He knows we are in the boat. For heaven’s sake, it was his idea. Is God anywhere near?”

And from within the storm comes an unmistakable voice: “Courage! I am! Don’t be afraid!” (Matthew 14:27, literal translation).

From the center of the storm, the unwavering Jesus shouts, “I am.” Tall in the Trade Tower wreckage. Bold against the Galilean waves. ICU, battlefield, boardroom, prison cell, or maternity ward—whatever your storm, “I am.”

Christ comes astride the waves and declares the words engraved on every wise heart: “Courage! I am! Don’t be afraid!”

From Fear Not Promise Book
Originally printed in Next Door Savior

A Sound Mind

2 Timothy 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. NKJV

This is what I want, a sound mind. I've mentioned before that worry is my pet sin. All it does is make me anxious and unproductive Why do I still do it? Habit I guess. I'm human and God understands this, but that doesn't give me a right to worry. Worry is clearly a sin because it isn't trusting God. Tonight I watched a video message by Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.TV. I found the link b/c it was a contribution associated with this verse on youversion.com. It was an amazing message and another God moment for me. It's amazing that He knows just what I need to hear at just the right time in my life! There were 3 parts to the message. 1. I will do what God asks me to do. 2. I will give God what I cannot do. 3. No matter what happens I will trust God. This message was well worth 35 minutes of my time. It was probably the best message I have heard regarding the sin of worry. Worry happens when we are too big and our God is too small. Our God is not small, but we (I) often make Him small. I trust that God will help me overcome this sin. Lord help me do do what I can do and leave the rest to you. Please help me to overcome the sin of worry so that I can better serve you and lead others to you. How are others supposed to be drawn to you when they know that I worry so much about things I can't control?

Here's the link if you'd like to watch the message:

http://www.youversion.com/contributions/22353/hostage--worry

Me & My Sisters With My Cousins!

Can you guess which one is me in each picture?

These Are The Words I Would Say

This is a powerful song I heard on the radio yesterday. It has a great message and I wanted my friends/readers to hear it to0! "Don't live life in fear...God's got his hands on you"! :) Praying these words touch your heart today, as they did mine!

The Ups and Downs of Life

I'm baaaack! I know I haven't blogged in a while. Just call it a hiatus! :) I know I'm a good writer and it's therapeutic for me, so I'm going to work at blogging more regularly.

I've been in a funk lately. It's just been a time in my life where I'm completely overwhelmed and wonder how much more I can handle! We've all been there at one time or another, often many times! Here are some of the reasons why I've been feeling overwhelmed and down:

• The production requirements at work are going up. I already work non-stop to hit the production numbers I'm required to hit, while having to maintain quality numbers as well. Knowing this is coming, has raised my level of stress. How can I do any more claims in one day? I need this job! There is no one to fall back on!
• It greatly concerns me that Mom's cancer spread even with chemo. She is currently undergoing more chemo and radiation, while working full time. She has a very positive attitude! I believe this fact plays a HUGE part in how she has been a cancer survivor and fighter for almost 10 years! Go Mom! Yeah God! :)
• My friend Mary got married to FM (my nickname for him) on August 1st! :) She moved to the Indianapolis area which is 3 hours from here. I'm so happy for them, but it's been an adjustment for me to not have her close by. Mary was my very first friend when I moved here 2 years (and almost 4 months ago). We have a lot in common and think a lot alike. I know God put us in each others lives at a time when we both desperately needed a friend. Thank you God! :) I know we will still be there for each other for years to come, but things change when someone moves. From my years of experience of having friends get married, I know that it also changes the dynamics of a friendship, as well it should. I look forward to visiting Mary and FM hopefully in October and I know God will provide more friends for me!
• I'm tired of doing life all alone! Granted I have friends and family that I "do life" with, but it's not the same! At the end of the day, it's just me. There is no one else to help w/ responsibilities such as oil changes, calls to insurance and medical providers, bills, household responsibilities, etc. Usually I'm fine being single. I have learned that the grass is not always greener and that I have God to rely on, but sometimes I get like this, where I just want a significant other to share life with. God spoke to me last night when someone on Twitter posted this quote from a book: "A romantic relationship,no matter how passionate, spontaneous,or exciting,can never complete you. Only God can do that." WOW! It was just the reminder I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear it.

It's times like these that I feel God is trying to get it to sink into my very stubborn head, that He is in Control and I am NOT! He wants me to know that He loves me and that me not having a significant other is not a punishment! That's just what Satan wants me to believe. He has protected me from getting into/staying in unhealthy relationships. So right now, I'm going to focus on taking care of me and nurturing my relationship with my bestest friend Jesus! If you get a chance, check out youversion.com. It's a great way to read the Bible online.

I look forward to the time when things start to look up for me, but for now, I have lots to be thankful for and want to focus on becoming the person God wants me to be.

I'll end this post with what was my Dad's favorite portion of Scripture:

Proverbs 3:5-6:

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

There's No Such Thing As Perfect People!

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been
And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

This song spoke to me and I hope you enjoyed it to!

Meet Angel!

Angel is my new roommate Jamie's dog. Isn't she the most adorable dog you have ever seen? Ok, so I'm a bit prejudiced! :) We've quickly become buddies! She so reminds me of Charlie who we had growing up! She's so loving and such a good dog. In the bottom pic, she's just chillin on the couch with me. She's such a great companion! I moved in here on Saturday and am slowly getting settled. Hence, the reason I haven't blogged lately. I think I've finally broken my internet/facebook/twitter addiction. That's a good thing for me! Thanks again to all of my faithful followers! Please continue to check back for new blog posts. Have a great weekend! :)

Murphy's M.V.P.

Who is Murphy's M.V.P. you ask? She is my friend! Her name is Mary, and Mary will soon be Mrs. Murphy!! She and her fiance will be getting married this August 1st! I'm so happy for them! This picture was taken last night (Friday) at a bachelorette get together. The other women went to Hacienda and a Silverhawks baseball game 1st, but I worked till 7:15pm, so I met up with them at Mary's friend's apartment afterwards. Mary doesn't usually wear a baseball cap, but isn't she adorable in her Murphy's M.V.P. get-up?! :) The past 2 years I've heard a lot about Helen and Katie (Mary's friends who live out East). It was great to finally meet them in person and to meet many more friends of Mary's as well. This afternoon (Saturday) was her bridal shower and it was fun, and was held at a very classy place (Villa Macri's)! But you see, Mary's a classy girl and deserves the best. Mary, I wish you God's blessings on your upcoming M.V.P. role! :-)

Yesterday Was My 1 Year Twitterversary!

Friday, May 29th was my 1 year Twitterversary! :) Many of you are probably thinking, "what in the heck is a Twitterversary?". Well, I joined the Twitterverse (i.e. world of twitter) on May 29th, 2008. Twitter is a status update tool where you update your followers regarding what you are doing, in 140 characters or less. It's been a lot of fun!

Here are some of my previous tweets to give you some examples of what we do in the Twitterverse:

Good News! Kidneys are ok! Dr. thinks it may be Venous Incompetence. Who has heard of this? I had to look it up online.
8:07 PM May 19th from web

Looking forward to watching the Bachelorette in 10 minutes! Glad it's on ABC cuz that's one of the only channels I get! No NBC or CBS.
8:49 PM May 18th from web

Yikes! I just read on Yahoo that a 66 year old woman is pregnant. I have never been pregnant..but pregnant at 66 years old? NO THANK YOU!
8:47 PM May 18th from web

Just realized my last tweet was my 1000th tweet! Woo Hoo! :) It's been almost a year I'm been tweeting...a year end of this month!
11:23 PM May 17th from web

is moving into the condo in 20 days! I can't wait! :)
10:50 PM May 17th from web

had a great time visiting with family and friends at Trey's Confirmation party today!
10:50 PM May 17th from web

President Obama will be speaking at the Notre Dame Commencement tomorrow, just a few miles from me. I really hope people behave themselves!
11:25 PM May 16th from web

Heading to St. Joseph, MI in the AM for Nephew Trey's Confirmation. Will be fun to see a bunch of relatives I haven't seen in a while!
11:08 PM May 16th from web

If you are on Twitter, please follow me! My Twitter name is Jennifruit!

Excellent Devotion by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Jealousy and Singleness

Although I have often found myself thinking, "When will it be me"? I can't say that I often get jealous of my friends who get married. I'm genuinely happy for them! For the most part, I love my life and my freedom and I know that God knows what's best for me. Even so, I found this devotion to be a great reminder for me and other singles out there.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: The apostle Paul says, “Love does not envy.” Elisabeth Elliot has helped us think through what that means. She writes, “If I imagine that I love my neighbor, let me test my love by asking how glad I am that he has managed to acquire what I have long wished to acquire. That he is loved by someone in some way that has never been granted to me.”

This can be especially challenging for singles. Do you ever find yourself jealous of your friends who are getting married? Maybe you’re married, but you’ve never been able to have children. Are you jealous of those who are able to have children?

These are some of the most painful situations a woman can go through. Avoiding envy might seem impossible, but love is from God. The way to avoid jealousy is to be filled up with godly love.

Ask Him to give you His love. The kind that doesn’t envy.

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Advantages & Disadvantages of Singleness

I was just thinking that I haven't blogged about singleness in quite a while. Although I want a diverse audience I would also like to use this blog as a ministry to other singles. Like all stages/phases of life, singleness has it's advantages and disadvantages. On Facebook and Twitter I hear a lot about the joys and trials of parenting. Singleness also has it's joys and trials. While I was cleaning yesterday, I found a little booklet on "Singleness; The Misunderstood World of Single Adults". There are many good things in this booklet. One part I found interesting is the part where they talk about 1,300 Christian single adults being asked about the advantages and disadvantages of singles. They indicated that the following advantages of singleness, in order, were:

Women

1. Mobility and freedom
2. Time for interests
3. Social life in general
4. Privacy

Men

1. Mobility and freedom
2. Time for interests
3. Privacy
4. Social life in general

The disadvantages of being single were:

Women

1. Loneliness
2. Financial Insecurity
3. Self-centeredness
4. Restrictions on sex life

Men

1. Loneliness
2. Restrictions on sex life
3. Self-centeredness
4. The dating grind

I would tend to agree with these (at least from the female perspective of singleness). I love my mobility and freedom, and especially love my social life! I am blessed with many friends from many ages and stages of life! The four disadvantages to singleness are things I definitely struggle with. Even with all of the friends I have, there are many times when I get lonely, especially over long weekends such as this one where I didn't plan anything ahead of time. I also find that the financial insecurity aspect of being single frustrates me sometimes (I have gotten much better at handling my God given money). If I lose my job there is no one to fall back on. I am it, no financial security for me. At the same time that can be an advantage...if I lose my job, there are no little mouths to have to feed either! My heart goes out to all of you single mom's. I seriously don't know how you do it!

Here are some awesome key quotes from the booklet:

The only true guarantee of happiness has little to do with marriage or singleness and everything to do with being obedient to the will of God.

A lot of singles yearn to be married; a lot of marrieds wish they were single again.

Godliness with contentment is great gain.
I Timothy 6:6

Whatever your age or stage in life, I pray that you find contentment in Christ Alone and I also pray that He will grant you the desires of your heart!

Taken from RBC Ministries Booklet written by Dave Egner

Rules of Life and Recovery

I found this while I was cleaning today. There is no Author's name on it, but I thought it was cool, so wanted to share it with you.


Rule 1
Life isn't fair

Rule 2
You can't change rule 1

Rule 3
If you don't accept rule 1 and rule 2 you are in deep trouble

Rule 4
We are what we feel and we feel what we do, when you don't deal with your feelings they deal with you.

Rule 5
What other people do is their fault, what you do is yours

Rule 6
Feelings are only forever if you don't deal with them

Rule 7
Don't try to deal with forever you can't, just deal with today

Answers To "About Me" Quiz!

The Answers are in bold print:

1) What cell phone network do I use?
a) Sprint
b) Verizon
c) T-Mobile
d) AT&T

2) My favorite flavor of ice cream is ________.
a) Chocolate
b) Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
c) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
d) Mint Chip

3) How many times have I traveled out of the country?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3
e) 5

4) What is my favorite holiday?
a) Christmas
b) Thanksgiving
c) Easter
d) 4th of July

5) What city was I born in?
a) St. Joseph, MI
b) Mishawaka, IN
c) Milwaukee, WI
d) South Bend, IN
e) Denver, CO

6) How many Nieces/Nephews do I have?
a) 2
b) 3
c) 4
d) 5
e) 6

7) When did my Dad pass away?
a) 1995
b) 1997
c) 1999
d) 2002
e) 2005

8) What are the names of my Godchildren?
a) Trey, Gregory, Hannah
b) Trey, Lexi, Tyler
c) Gregory, Lexi, Ryan
d) Lexi, Joey, Hannah

9) What is my favorite movie?
a) Bennie & Joon
b) The Notebook
c) A Walk to Remember
d) 13 Going on 30

10) How many 1st Cousins do I have(include both sides fam minus my 2 sisters)
a) 6
b) 9
c) 10
d) 15
e) 17

Happy Blogiversary To Me!

Can you believe it? I've been blogging for a full year now! In fact my very first blog post was posted exactly 1 year ago today at exactly this time of the night/morning! :) It's been a great year! So much has happened! I love blogging because I love to write, I find it extremely therapeutic, and I love to keep my followers up to date on the happenings in my life! As time goes on, I am gaining more followers. My friend Michelle told me it would just take time! :) She was right! I just wanted to thank all of my readers who have been following me on this journey we call life! Whether you are a faithful follower, or just stop by once in a while, I appreciate you! :) Without you, this blog wouldn't be nearly as important or worthwhile to me. Thanks for your comments and for your support this past year. I hope you continue to follow my blog and leave comments when you feel the urge to do so! :) God Bless you! :)

About Me

Here's a quiz I created for my friends on Facebook to see how well they know me. How well do you know me? Feel free to answer by leaving a comment 1.C, 2.D, etc. I'll post the answers shortly!

1) What cell phone network do I use?
a) Sprint
b) Verizon
c) T-Mobile
d) AT&T

2) My favorite flavor of ice cream is ________.
a) Chocolate
b) Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
c) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
d) Mint Chip

3) How many times have I traveled out of the country?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3
e) 5

4) What is my favorite holiday?
a) Christmas
b) Thanksgiving
c) Easter
d) 4th of July

5) What city was I born in?
a) St. Joseph, MI
b) Mishawaka, IN
c) Milwaukee, WI
d) South Bend, IN
e) Denver, CO

6) How many Nieces/Nephews do I have?
a) 2
b) 3
c) 4
d) 5
e) 6

7) When did my Dad pass away?
a) 1995
b) 1997
c) 1999
d) 2002
e) 2005

8) What are the names of my Godchildren?
a) Trey, Gregory, Hannah
b) Trey, Lexi, Tyler
c) Gregory, Lexi, Ryan
d) Lexi, Joey, Hannah

9) What is my favorite movie?
a) Bennie & Joon
b) The Notebook
c) A Walk to Remember
d) 13 Going on 30

10) How many 1st Cousins do I have(include both sides fam minus my 2 sisters)
a) 6
b) 9
c) 10
d) 15
e) 17

Venous Insufficiency

Good News! The Dr. left me a VM Message this AM telling me my kidneys are fine. He thinks I have Venous Incompetence AKA Venous Insufficiency. I'm glad my kidneys are fine! I guess I can rest assured that I am in good health b/c practically everything was checked totalling up to at least $2,300.00 in medical bills. Thank God for health insurance! :) I am blessed. Anyways, I had no clue what venous insufficiency was, so I found the excerpt below on Medicine.Net. I will just wait to talk to the Dr. until my next Appointment, which is June 5th. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers!

How does venous insufficiency cause edema?
The veins in the legs are responsible for transporting blood up to the veins of the torso, where it is then returned to the heart. The veins of the legs have valves that prevent the backward flow of blood within them. Venous insufficiency is incompetence of the veins that occurs because of dilation, or enlargement, of the veins and dysfunction of their valves. This happens, for example, in patients with varicose veins.

Venous insufficiency leads to a backup of blood and increased pressure in the veins, thereby resulting in edema of the legs and feet. Edema of the legs also can occur with an episode of deep vein thrombophlebitis, which is a blood clot within an inflamed vein. In this situation, the clot in the deep vein blocks the return of blood, and consequently causes increased back-pressure in the leg veins.

Venous insufficiency is a problem that is localized to the legs, ankles, and feet. One leg may be more affected than the other (asymmetrical edema). In contrast, systemic diseases that are associated with fluid retention generally cause the same amount of edema in both legs, and can also cause edema and swelling elsewhere in the body. The response to therapy with diuretic drugs in patients with venous insufficiency tends to be unsatisfactory. This is because the continued pooling of fluid in the lower extremities makes it difficult for the diuretics to mobilize the edema fluid.

Elevation of the legs periodically during the day and the use of compression stockings may alleviate the edema. Some patients require surgical treatment to relieve chronic edema that is caused by venous insufficiency.

Voice Mail Message From Lexi!

When I got out of work last Thursday I had a VM message from my 6 year old niece Lexi who lives in Milwaukee, WI. The message said:

"Aunt Jenny, I was just gonna call you and say that my tooth fell out at school on May um 6th, 2009, bye."

This message from Lexi totally made my day! I was laughing and smiling for quite a while after I heard this message! It was so darn cute for one thing! Plus, I was honored that she wanted to tell ME about her tooth. It was the first tooth she lost, so this is a BIG deal to her! I was tickled that she mentioned the date. This reminded me that she takes after me when it comes to dates and details.

Anyways, it was just so cute that I had to share it with you all! I hope this blog post added at least a smile to your day! :)

Lexi will be here in Indiana with her family for a visit this weekend, and I can't wait to see her! :)

Finally Starting To Get Some Answers!

Most of you know that I've been dealing with health issues for the past 3 months. It's been frustrating because up until now I've felt like a "Medical Mystery". The Dr.'s didn't seem to have any explanation for why my feet/ankles have been swelling so much. All of the tests have come back fine! Well, today I had a Dr.'s Appt with my Internal Medicine Dr. and he talked to me about the results of my 2nd round of tests. He said my creatinine levels are elevated and that can signal problems with kidney functioning. Don't get me wrong! I don't want to have kidney failure, but at least we are starting to get to the bottom of this!

Here are my next steps: I need to go get more blood work done to see if the creatinine levels are still elevated. Then, on Tuesday morning the Dr. is having me go get an ultrasound of my kidneys. I then go back to see him in 4 weeks to discuss the results. I know he'll call if something needs to be done ASAP. He also said my cholesterol is very high. I guess it's at 286 (I think) which is horrible! However, he noted that both my good and bad cholesterol are both high, so he isn't AS concerned. I told him when I was 16 I also had high cholesterol, so I think in addition to my diet, it is hereditary as well. He prescribed a pill to help control my cholesterol levels and I will have that checked again in 8 weeks.

I tell ya, I sure am blessed to have good health insurance! Even without my upcoming tests, my tests thus far have cost over $1,600.00! Continued prayers are appreciated! I found the diagram below online and the symptoms seem to match the problems I am having. I have fluid overload (swollen ankles) and elevated creatinine levels. Here's hoping that if there are kidney issues, they can be treated with meds. I'm just thankful to FINALLY be getting some answers!

Two Years Ago Today

I moved back to "The Bend" from Milwaukee, WI on May 1st, 2007! I can't believe it's been 2 years already!! I always said I would NEVER move back here, but God had other plans for me! I've had some rough times over the past few years, but overall I am so much happier. It's taken a while, but I'm finally back on my feet! I'm close to family! I have wonderful friends! I have a great job! I've grown so much as a person and in my faith, and I'm moving into a condo on the River on June 6th, where I will have my own bathroom, a large closet, a garage and a pool! Hopefully one day I will own my own condo! :) God is good, and He certainly has provided for me. To my family, I'm glad I'm Home! To my Milwaukee friends, I miss you and treasure the times I do get to spend with you! Distance does not separate true friends! To my South Bend friends, I'm so glad I've gotten to know you. Thank you for helping me to grow and be "real"! To all of my friends throughout the US, you all hold a special place in my heart! I'm Home and I'm Happy! =-)

I Will Rise!

The graduation was on Saturday, which is when I started missing Dad. Then on the way to my small group on Sunday, this song came on the radio. Another God thing! I broke down in tears! Beautiful song and worth listening to the whole thing! :)

A Monumental Day

Today was a Monumental Day because my Sister Pam graduated from Western Michigan University with her Bachelor's Degree. I am SO proud of her! She has worked incredibly hard for this day! She works full time, is a wife and a mom and was going to school 3 nights a week. It makes me tired just thinking about it! She drove from St. Joe MI to Kalamazoo MI for many of her classes too! A year and a half ago, even with all that was already on her plate, her son Trey had open heart surgery. She's been through a lot to get where she is today!

I shed quite a few tears at Commencement today. Tears of joy, tears of pride, and bittersweet tears that someone was missing from this monumental celebration. When they asked for the parents of the graduates to stand up, my Mom stood up. Something was wrong with this picture. Dad should have been standing up with her, but he wasn't. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that these waves of emotion, feelings of loss and heart ache, come and go. As time goes on (it's been 9 1/2 years already!) those times get fewer and farther between, but they never go away. Loved ones are never forgotten, especially on monumental days such as today. I know it's natural and human for me to have these feelings. It's ok! Dad would have been so proud of Pam and all that she has accomplished. I know how proud he was to see me graduate!

The truth is, death is not natural. God never intended for things to be this way. I'm so glad He chose to send His only son so that one day we will all be reunited in heaven and will never again have these "waves" of heart ache and grief for someone who is missing from the picture.

Congratulations Pam! :) I'm proud of you and I know Dad would have been so proud of you too!

Randomness by J-La

1. I've been blogging for 11 months now!
2. My Sister Pam is graduating from Western Michigan University tomorrow! I'm so proud of her! She went back and finished College while working Full Time and being a Wife and a Mom!
3. I haven't felt good all week. It all started on Sunday evening. I even took Wednesday off to rest up. This is mostly why I haven't blogged this week. Hopefully I'm on the upswing!
4. I had more lab work done this week. I haven't heard anything yet in regards to the results. I'm still a medical mystery! :)
5. I'm looking forward to rescheduling with Jen. We were going to go to "Red Robin" on it's opening day on Monday, but I had to cancel because I was sick.
6. Work was more tiring than usual this week due to learning a new way of doing things. Change is good, but it is change and it does take time to learn new things! I get nervous about production, but I'll get there, it just takes time.
7. My allergies are acting up.
8. I want to lose weight and have been walking more as the weather gets nicer.
9. I LOVE my new MERRELLS! So Comfy! :)
10. Sister Debbie is 12 weeks along with my littlest nephew/niece! She is due November 4th! :) It would be cool if the baby were born on November 3rd, which was Dad's B-day.
11. Mom is still doing chemo. She had another round on Thursday. She'll have another one in 2 weeks and then there will be an MRI to see if the cancer is has shrunk/is gone...basically to see if the chemo worked. For her sake, I pray it did!
12. A friend of mine was laid off from her job today. She is a single Mom. This saddens me, but I know God has great things in store for her. I'm thankful to have a job.
13. I get motion sickness. I picked up Dramamine tonight for the ride to Kalamazoo w/ the fam tomorrow for Pam's graduation. The older I get the worse it gets. I'm so used to driving that when I don't drive, I experience motion sickness. YEAH Dramamine!
14. My Godson and Nephew will be confirmed in May. I can't believe he's 14 1/2! I still remember the day he was born!
15. I'm tired and signing off now. Tomorrow will be a long but happy day! :)
16. More later...

My New Walking Shoes...One Step Closer

I had my appointment with my new Internal Medicine Dr. on Friday morning. I was there for an hour & a half and had an EKG done. It's a standard procedure for all of their new patients. I hate to see how much the bill will be for that appointment! I still don't have answers regarding the fatigue and feet/ankle swelling, but hopefully I am one step closer to getting answers! The next round of tests are to find out if my liver and kidneys are functioning properly. When the Dr. was examining me I felt pain near the bottom of my ribs. The Dr. said that was my gallbladder. He said gallbladder issues wouldn't cause ankle swelling though. I wonder if the meds I have been on long term are ultimately hurting my liver/kidneys? We shall see. One of the diagnoses by the Dr. is that I'm overweight. I guess I've been in denial. He wants me to exercise more, which is really hard to do when I can't fit into tennis shoes. The tops of my feet are so swollen I can't fit into normal shoes. So, I bought a new pair of shoes (pic above) at The Walking Company today. These should work both now and when/if my feel/ankle swelling goes down, and they were on sale! :) I just want to feel "normal" again..whatever that is. The good news is that I'm not dying! :) I'm alive and kicking and am determined to one day not be diagnosed as being "overweight"! :) One thing at a time Jen, one thing at a time!

Mishawaka Has A New Barnes & Noble!

Mishawaka has had a Barnes & Noble for a long time, but about a week ago the old one closed and the new one opened up. The new one is attached to the Mall. This is the largest and coolest Barnes & Noble I have ever seen and I've been in many B&N's in the big cities! I never thought South Bend would have a B&N this big! It has a large fireplace and even has an extra big study area, which I believe is geared toward Notre Dame students. I just had to take pics of the pictures on the walls in that study area to show you all. All of you local peeps should check it out soon! Come on you out of towners, I know you want to come visit me just so you can experience the new Barnes & Noble Mishawaka has to offer! :) Enjoy the pics!

Birthday Celebration!

Today isn't just tax day, more importantly, it's Mary's Birthday! :) We had a great time hanging out at Hacienda tonight. Their margarita's were on special for $1.00. Can't beat that!

I've known Mary for almost 2 years now and we both agree that we are SO much alike! I'm so blessed that God sent her into my life!

I love you Mary!

My Redeemer Lives! :)

He lives and grants me daily breath.

He lives and I shall conquer death.

He lives my mansion to prepare.

He lives to bring me safely there!

Oh the sweet joy this sentence gives,

I know that my Redeemer lives!

I just want to wish all of my readers a very Blessed Easter!

Words Have Power

This past Wednesday I had my second Mammogram. I had my first one at age 30 because of my Mom's history with breast cancer. They really aren't that bad. It's just uncomfortable. But, it's quick and it saves lives! My Mom has battled cancer off and on for over 9 years. She was first diagnosed with breast Cancer in February of 2000. She is a fighter! :) Anyways, Thursday I received a Voice Mail message from my Dr.'s office informing me my Mammogram results were back and that I should call them as soon as possible. Now what would the normal person deduct from hearing those "as soon as possible" words? I was anxious for over an hour and a half. I called them back and the office was closed for lunch. I called my Mom and even she said, they might see something and want you to have another Mammogram. Maybe they did it wrong the first time. I finally was able to get a hold of them. I did not speak with the person who left the VM Message. I was told everything was fine and that I should come back next year. Phew!

I told the lady that had I received a message that said my results were in and I could call them back at my convenience, I wouldn't have reacted the way that I did. Was it really necessary to leave that VM Message for me to say "call as soon as possible". That would be a negative! Did it put things in to perspective for me in regards to my swollen ankles? Absolutely! My Mom's strength in dealing with these phone calls on a regular basis, absolutely amazes me.

Ladies, if you are 30-35 and your Mom or sister has a history of breast cancer, please get a Mammogram ASAP if you haven't. If you are 40 or older and have no history of breast cancer, please get a Mammogram ASAP, it could save your life! :)

Good Friday - Amazing Grace

Please Help to Bring Anya Home!

My friend Kathy and her husband Marty are the pre-adoptive parents to an adorable 6 year old little girl named Anya. They have been trying to bring her home from Irkutsk for going on 5 years! Their love and determination for this little girl is amazing! It's heart wrenching for me to know they are going through this, so I honestly can't imagine all of the emotions they have been dealing with. Kathy is a Wardrobe Coach, Personal Shopper, and Fashion Expert for WSBT news. Kathy's friend designed and made the necklace pictured above. I purchased this to help bring Anya home, and now I feel even more connected to this family and this wonderful cause. It's a beautiful necklace, and here is a beautiful description of what the pieces of the necklace represent:

The Pearl in this piece represents Truth, a pearl is the stone of Truth. Throughout this ordeal, Marty and Kathy have continued to believe in the TRUTH - which is that Anya was not put on this earth to be left an orphan. The TRUTH is that God loves her too much to leave her without a family.

The little silver bead represents the Strength of platinum. Marty and Kathy's strong resolve, and strong faith to bring Anya home.

The teardrop in the center represents the many tears shed over making Anya wait to come home...it also represents tears of Joy for the end of this story.Finally, the links in the chain represent all the prayers and love that have been protecting Anya since 2004.

Even just reading this description makes me all sappy.

To read more about Kathy and Marty's fight to bring Anya home and to purchase a necklace, you can go here. Whether you decide to purchase a necklace or not, the Friend's would appreciate your prayers as they near the end of this long journey. They are currently awaiting a court date in Irkutsk.

Thank you! :)

Blog Labels

FYI - I just recently started labeling my blog posts by topic. I went back today and labeled some of my older posts. You can view the topics at the bottom right hand side of my blog. Keep in mind that I have not labeled all of my blog posts yet, but hope to do so soon.

Lower Extremity Edema

Ok, so I know my feet are not attractive to begin with, in fact, they are the least favorite part of my body. However, I am blessed to have them. They get me where I need to go! :) These pics give you an idea of the symptoms I have been experiencing. The proper medical term for this is "Lower Extremity Edema". What is causing the lower extremity edema? This is the Million Dollar Question! :) I've been dealing with these swollen feet/ankles for well over 6 weeks. Five weeks ago when I first went to the Dr. he (as a good Dr. should) had me get a chest x-ray and tons of blood work done. $995.00 worth of tests to be exact! Thank God for health insurance..and I seriously mean that! The good news is that

everything came back normal. So, the Dr. gave me a water pill and I was good to go..or so I thought! The water pill did work for 2 weeks, if that, and then the extreme swelling came back. So, this past Wednesday I went back to the Dr. I also showed him the pictures I had taken. He said my pictures serve as good documentation! He was completely baffled as to what's causing this. I'm thankful he admitted that he didn't know what else to do. He said if I were 80, he would think it was a symptom of congestive heart failure, but he said I'm a healthy 35 year old woman. He also said it's strange that this is happening in both of my feet/ankles. My Dr. referred me to an Internal Medicine Dr. My first appointment with the IM Dr. will be on April 17th. So I have 2 more weeks to wait. I told my Dr. the first time that I am a Medical Mystery! :) I think he believes me now! LOL Please don't ask me if I have too much salt in my diet! That will make me want to scream! Trust me, I've heard it all! I know people mean well, but seriously..do these feet/ankles look "normal" to you??? My Dr. assured me that this is more than just too much salt intake! So, I'll just have to be patient and hope and pray that I will get some answers in the next month or so. All I know is that I can only wear the same 2 pairs of shoes, and that I am extremely fatigued. I would appreciate your prayers over the next few weeks that the IM Dr. can get to the root cause of the problem, and that hopefully someday soon, I will be able to see that I do in fact have ankles! :) Thank you! :)

Who's Out There?

I've been blogging for 10 months now & I know I have a few faithful followers. I'm just curious to know how many people follow this blog, and who you are. Please leave a comment with your name, location and what you like about this blog (optional). I would love to hear from you even if this is your first time here. If you don't have a google/blogger account, you can use Anonymous and just type in your info in the comment section. Thanks for following my blog! :)

Another Dunkin Donuts "Date"!

It must be a Saturday thing! :) A week ago Saturday I was at Dunkin Donuts with my niece Lexi in Milwaukee, and this past Saturday I was at Dunkin Donuts in Goshen with Jennifer. I must say I had so much fun on Saturday! Jen is a very fun person, but I think this is one of the most fun times that we have shared together! While at Dunkin Donuts, we had a great discussion, including meditating on various scripture verses, while sipping blueberry coffee (which tasted even better at the Goshen location!). Then we went to see Jen's boyfriend's choir perform. They got a "gold"! :) After that we went to Concord Mall where we ate at Enzo's Pizza and walked around the Mall. Jen had the pleasure of seeing a tattoo of dough on one of the worker's arms. You'd have to be there to understand, or keep an eye out on Jen's blog and maybe she'll tell you about it. She can tell it the best because I was already sitting down when she was having this very peculiar conversation. We had lots of laughs about it! :) Thanks Jen! I look forward to more fun times with you in the future!

Who I am in Christ

Understanding your identity in Christ is absolutely essential for your success at living a victorious Christian life!

Dr. Neil T. Anderson


God is doing AMAZING things in my life this week! My friend and roommate Alaina has been suggesting for a few months now that I meet with her Pastor to talk about filling my mind with the truth. You see, I knew I was telling myself (allowing Satan to tell me) lies and believing them, but I didn't know how to stop that. You see, I wasn't filling my mind with the truth of God's Word enough to combat those lies. In many ways I am a baby Christian. For those of you who have known me for a very long time, I can hear you saying, "What? You have been a Christian your whole life, why are you saying you're a baby Christian?" Well, I say that because it's only been in the past few years that I have started to understand what a "relationship" with Christ is and how important it is in life. Life is not meant to just get through until we get to heaven. In Christ, we can live a victorious and joy-filled life. Because it has only been over the past few years that I have realized this, I am a baby Christian in that I never really "had a relationship" with God. Sure, I went to Church, I prayed, and I know more Bible Verses and more information about doctrine/theology than a lot of people do. For this, I am extremely thankful. I was raised in a God-fearing home and I have all of the tools I need to fight this battlefield of the mind. However, I didn't know who I was in Christ. I didn't let it sink in that God loves me unconditionally, regardless of if I go to Church or not, regardless of if I mess up, regardless of the good things I try (but often fail) to do. The King of heaven and earth wants a relationship with me. He wants me to talk to him throughout my day about anything and everything. He wants me to see him as being approachable. He doesn't want me to look at him like a mean father who has ruler to slap my hand whenever I mess up. He wants me to be free in Him. I think meeting with Pastor A. on Tuesday really instilled these truths into me even more. I don't have to hold on to my past of being afraid of God, but I can move forward and take all of the energy I spend looking back at my past, and use that energy to move into a deep relationship with the one who thought I was worth the death of His Son. I am thankful for Alaina and Pastor A. who introduced me to "Freedom In Christ Ministries" by Dr. Neil T. Anderson. This Ministry shows you Satan's Lies and God's truths. Here are some of them:

Satan's Lie - You are a sinner because you sin.

God's Truth - You are a saint (one declared righteous by God) who sins.

Satan's Lie - Your identity comes from what you have done.

God's Truth - Your identity comes from what God has done for you.

Satan's Lie - Your identity comes from what people say about you.

God's Truth - Your identity comes from what God says about you.

Satan's Lie - Your behavior tells you what to believe about yourself.

God's truth - Your belief about yourself determines your behavior.

Here are some bible verses and truths about who I (we) am (are) in Christ. These are the ones that really hit home and have started to sink into my heart.

Col 2:10 - I am complete in Christ!

Ehp 1:1 - I am a saint!

Jn 1:12 - I am God's Child!

Jn 15:15 - I am Christ's Friend!

Rom 8:1-2 - I am free forever from condemnation!

2 Cor 6:1 - I am God's co-worker!

Eph 3:12 - I may approach God with freedom and confidence!

I Jn 5:18 - I am born of God, the evil one cannot touch me!

I challenge you to look up these Bible Verses. I looked them all up, because when I read some of them, I was like "really?". Seriously check it out! They are in the Bible!

My "Date" at Dunkin Donuts!

This one's for you JJ! Saturday night my Niece Lexi and I went on a date in Downtown Milwaukee. First we went thru a car wash, then we drove down to the Milwaukee Lake Front where she took a lot of pictures (hmm she must take after her Aunt Jenny)! Then we went to Dunkin Donuts because I wanted to try DD's Blueberry coffee which my friend JJ loves! It was delicious! Lexi didn't want anything because she wanted to get ice cream later. We then walked around downtown and the went to McDonalds to end the evening with ice cream! We got home an hour before the rest of the family and just hung out and watched TV. All I remember is some show called "Phineus and Ferb"! It was so great bonding with Lexi! I think she's coming out of her shell! Friday I was going to stay with the rest of the kids while her Mom walked her to School. Lexi was upset that I wasn't walking her to School. Lexi doesn't show a whole lot of emotion so I didn't think it mattered to her. Once I knew it mattered, we decided Debbie would stay with the kids and I would walk Lexi to School. Have I mentioned I love being "Aunt Jenny"!? :)

My 6 Year Old Niece is So Creative!

Lexi gave this to me on Sunday after we went on a "date" on Saturday evening. It was great spending one on one time with her. My first niece is growing up fast! She is such a sweetheart and a creative one at that! :)

One Year Ago Today.....

I started my career at Liberty Mutual. I love how this Company acknowledges Anniversaries with a balloon bouquet! It made me feel special. I mean I already know I am special because God said so, but it's nice to feel appreciated! The weather was PERFECT today, so I took a pic of the building on one of my breaks. I'm loving the clear blue skies! :) You can go here to see my recent accomplishments at work. I look forward to achieving more of my goals in the upcoming year!

Red Flags in Dating

• On your first date he takes you to a pet store at the mall and tells you he wants to get a German Sheppard and train it to attack people.


• On your first date he uses a coupon to get your dinner for free and still divides up the bill and expects you to pay over half of that amount.


• The day after he tells you he loves you, he tells you he would take his ex-wife back in a heartbeat if she wanted him back.


• After dating for approximately 3 months, he takes you out to dinner, holds your hand, then takes you home only to break up with you at the end of the evening...mixed messages.


• He only wants to see you once every 5 weeks even though you are willing to take turns with driving (long distance) to see each other.


• He refuses to spend any money, even just for his own cup of coffee , so that you can actually go on a date once a week, during the 2nd/3rd months of dating.


• If you are always the one driving to see him and he never drives to see you.


• He tells you to get the f*** out of his house and never apologizes on the phone or in person.


• He later tells you he feels liberated having kicked Satan out of his house. (If he calls you Satan, this is the biggest red flag of all!)

These are all real experiences that I have had in the dating world. There are probably many more, but these are the major Red Flag ones that stick out in my mind. I hope you get a few laughs from these. I've lived and learned! :)

Sun Filled Day! :)

Today was a gorgeous SUNNY day! :) I went for an hour and 20 minute walk down by the River. I couldn't get through the walkway on both sides of the River due to flooding, but I found an alternate route to get where I wanted to go. The fourth pic shows the most flooding. That was taken at Beutter Park and you used to be able to walk through those walk-ways and see small waterfalls...as you can see it's totally flooded now. I love the new bridge with the arch! Now there are two different parts of my walk that I can cross over the River on a Bridge! See the condos in the 3rd pic (front of condos) and the last pic (back of condos)? I would love to own one of those someday. This gives me even more incentive to get my financial plan together. I want to control my money and not let it control me. I just soaked up all the sun I could get today. I couldn't have asked for better weather. God is good! :) Enjoy the pics below and I hope everyone gets to catch some rays this week! It sounds like we are in for an awesome few more days of warm/sunny weather! :)