Something Beautiful from our Grief

"God does not waste an ounce of our pain or a drop of our tears; suffering doesn't come our way for no reason, and He seems especially efficient at using what we endure to mold our character. If we are malleable, He takes our bumps and bruises and shapes them into something beautiful."

Frank Peretti, The Wounded Spirit

"There is a saying that says: "Minor surgery is what happens to you and yours. Major surgery is what happens to me and mine." When it happens to you, it isn't minor."
Chaplain Norris Burkes

I found the two quotes above on the internet tonight. I find them both to be true! It's human to consider things to be harder/more major when they are happening to us. Just like Cancer, we all hear the word everyday, but until it hits you or someone you love, it's just that, a word and a disease that "happens to other people and their loved ones".

I've heard of grief described as a deep wound that eventually scabs over. Sometimes that scab gets scratched and it hurts again, or sometimes that scab falls off, and we feel the deep wound all over again.

I have felt that deep wound all over again the past few days. I've been to quite a few funerals since my Dad's funeral which was on December 11th, 1999 (8 years and 7 months ago tomorrow). I've attended viewings of parents of friends of mine and given them support. I have a very close friend who lost her Father a year before I lost mine. We met 6 months after my Dad died. This time, it's happening right now to an already close friend of mine who is experiencing the loss of her earthly Father. His funeral was yesterday in WI. Sometimes the wound hurts all over again , even when you thought it was all scabbed over and fine. This is one of those times for me. My heart aches for my friend because I know the pain she is experiencing. Although everyone experiences grief differently, her situation is quite similar to my situation. She is 27. She is the oldest child of 4. Her youngest brother is 20. Her earthly Father was called home to heaven at the age of 54. I was a month away from turning 26. My earthly Father was 59. I am the oldest child of 3. My youngest sister was 21. I wish she didn't have to experiencing this life changing pain, but God in His infinite wisdom wanted her Father to come home.

When I come home to Heaven
How joyful it will be!
For on that day at last
My risen Lord I'll see.
No greater happiness
than to see Him face to face,
To see the love in His eyes
and feel His warm embrace.
Then why should earthly care
weigh down upon me so?
They'll be a distant memory
when home at last I go.
Author Unknown

This Poem was a great comfort to me immediately following my Dad's Death. It still is! I have a picture (like the one above) with this poem right beneath it, in a frame. As Christians, our goal is to go home to Jesus! Brenda's Dad got to go home to Jesus on Saturday. He had the opportunity to see his daughter get married exactly 2 weeks before he went home! I'm happy for him. I'm happy for my Dad. The pain never really goes away. Life just somehow goes on and memories are formed without that loved one. We never stop missing those who go on before us, and that void can never be filled by anyone else. Only Jesus can heal our broken hearts.

As Frank Peretti states above, God does not waste our pain, or our tears. I know that my pain has not been wasted. Although being there for Brenda is bringing up painful memories of when my Dad died, I believe He has used my pain to mold me into who I am today. I also believe He will use my pain so that I can be a supportive friend and a source of comfort and encouragement to Brenda. We won't know the answers to our "why" questions until we go home to heaven. I do know that God has great plans for Brenda and that He will continue to hold her close as she mourns the loss of her Dad. I believe He is still shaping my bumps and bruises into something beautiful, even if they still hurt at times like these.

"For I know the plans I have for you...Plans to prosper you and not to harm you...to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11