Do you know what your significant other's love language is? Do you know what your love language is? If not, I think it is imperative to your relationship that you find out what each other's love language is! We often communicate our love for others in ways that we like to receive love. You may have the best of intentions, and be trying really hard to show someone how much they mean to you! However, if how they receive love is different from how you are giving love, your significant other's love tank is not going to get filled up. This leaves him/her feeling unloved. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book, which I'm sure you have heard of. It's called "The 5 Love Languages". The 5 Love Languages are:
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Your love languages can also change over time. I think Physical Touch was my primary love language when I wasn't dating anyone, because I wasn't getting many hugs, etc. It was only a year ago that I found out "Gifts" were one of my top love languages.
Jonathan's primary love language is Physical Touch. This isn't just referring to sex. He loves hugs, hand holding, etc. Jonathan feels loved when he is given physical touch.
My primary love language is Words of Affirmation. Therefore, I tend to give words of affirmation to Jonathan. If I don't give Jonathan physical touch, words of affirmation aren't going to make him feel loved. I could compliment him till I'm blue in the face and he would like hearing it, but it's not going to make him feel nearly as loved as if I were to hug him. He has come SO far in learning my love language!
My second love language is Gifts. However, I didn't know that gifts were one of my love languages until we didn't get each other anything for Christmas or Valentine's Day right after we got engaged. Let's just say we both learned from those days! :) How could Jonathan know Gifts were one of my love languages, if I didn't even know? I think that's often how we find out what our love languages are, when our needs are not met. Now that Jonathan knows that gifts are my second love language, he can work at meeting that need, and he has been doing a wonderful job! :) He got me these roses for our 1 year Engagiversary:
The important thing is not the gift, but the emotional love that is communicated by the gift...the gift is quickly gone but the memory lingers.
There is a 5 week love languages challenge going on, which I signed up for and was going to blog about. However, it wasn't what I expected. The first challenge it gave me, because Jonathan's love language is physical touch, was to read a book about sex and discuss it with Jonathan. Jonathan thought that idea was not helpful either! I thought it would give me daily reminders to hug him, kiss him etc. Anways, that's why I decided to just blog about the 5 love languages! :)
I would like to know what your love language is. I'm asking everyone who reads this blog to please take the love language quiz, and let me know what your top love language is! :) All you need to do is click here, take the quiz and then comment back on my blog with your primary love language. Please, for the sake of your relationships, if you have a significant other, ask them to take it as well! You will learn a lot about each other, and what they need to feel loved by you. You will also learn ways that they may be showing you love, just not in the way that you need to be shown it.
Now, go show love to your neighbor, friend, spouse, parent, children, etc! :) We all need to be shown love!