A Work In Progress

A Work In Progress

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Balance - J-La-Sta Style

Balance Is.......... 
  • Eating 1 or 2 Servings of Edy's No Sugar Added Half the Fat Ice Cream instead of eating no ice cream at all or eating half the container.  
  • Walking 10,000 Steps 5 days a week instead of not walking at all or walking 10,000 steps 7 days a week.
  • Using 1 lb hand weights over my 45 minute lunch walk on Monday, Wednesday and Friday instead of not using weights at all or using them all 5 Weekdays.
  • Being on Facebook a little bit each day instead of being on it all the time or giving myself a week or 2 off of FB altogether.
I have a long ways to go, but for being such an all or nothing person, I think I've made great strides in finding balance in my life! :-)

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Life Isn't Perfect !

I went to a Wine & Canvas Event by myself over a year and a half ago.  I was trying to do the "Life Is Good" Painting.  They even had an example for us.  I started feeling immobilized because I was expecting myself to be perfect. I am not that artistic!  So then I decided I would be unique and do a different take on "Life Is Good"! :-)  I like my version of the painting better anyways! :-)

     Perfectionism.  All or nothing thinking/way of living.  It's an exhausting way to live!  I know this because I struggle with expecting myself to be perfect combined with my often all or nothing way of thinking.  If I don't think I can do it perfectly, I avoid doing it.  It keeps me stuck.  It leads to procrastination, which leads to lower self worth, since I sometimes base my worth on my successes or failures.  Not to mention the fact that perfectionism is totally unattainable this side of heaven!

     One of the things Pastor talked about at Church today was that Perfection is a barrier to serving others.  If we think we can't do it perfectly, we often choose not to serve.  That idea clicked for me because I SO get it!  I haven't cooked all that often for my Husband.  Although, kudos to me for having a home cooked meal ready for him when he got home from work on my day off! :-)  Not once have any of my meals turned out burnt, dry, hard, etc.  I CAN cook!  It's just I let my desire to be perfect get in my way.  It immobilizes me.  I allow it to immobilize me. Really any task (which is often most tasks) that seem overwhelming to me.....I often let pile up, like my laundry.  It's really not all that hard!  Just do it, Jen!  But for us perfectionists, it's not that simple.  Although I have learned that DONE is better than perfect! :-)  It's a good feeling to have accomplished something that once seemed so overwhelming! :-)

Being Pre-diabetic was overwhelming!  Having 77 lbs to lose was overwhelming!  But I did it! :-)  That's one of the reasons I have such pride in my accomplishment!  It was incredibly difficult, but I persevered!  I reached the goal I had set for my self 2-2.5 years ago.  Am I more worthy of love now that I am a person of normal weight?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Do I feel better about myself?  Yes!  I am healthier and therefore happier being in a normal weight range.  Will it be easy to maintain this weight?  NO!! 

I will write a blog post another day about balance (which I'm striving for as I try to simplify (and reduce stress levels in) my life.  For tonight, I'm going to focus on my "imperfect progress", and continually remind myself that Christ lived and died perfectly, for me and for you, so that we don't have to be perfect! 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

I'm Too Young For This!!!!!!

  • My short term memory has been awful
  • Insomnia
  • Waking up drenched by my own sweat
  • Inability to focus
  • It's like CONSTANT PMS with no relief
  • Moodiness
  • Irritability
  • It's like PMS on Steroids
  • It's like Puberty in reverse
  • Etc
  • Etc
  • I'll spare you from reading all of the wonderful symptoms, you get the idea! :-)
Hello!  My Name is J-La-Sta and I am in Perimenopause!  Can I have PMS back please?  JUST PMS?  You know, where the irritability goes away once Aunt Flo comes to visit? :-) 

My Perimenopause Journey began last Fall.  Before Last October, I thought Menopause was something that happened to women in their 50's and 60's.  Then they had a few hot flashes, missed a few periods, and then they were done!  Oh if only life were that simple!  In my defense, most of my girlfriends who are my age and younger and even some who are older then me, thought the same thing.  So, that's why I'm here to raise awareness for Perimenopause!  Menopause does not actually happen until a woman has missed a period for a full year!!  Who knew?  I didn't until a year ago!  Up until that point, she is considered to be in Perimenopause.  I had never heard of the term before I entered this phase of life.  I thought I was dying, but I wasn't.  So Ladies, if you experience these symptoms, and most importantly if your periods become irregular, i.e. closer together, longer (like my 21 day period which came 2 weeks after my last period ended), heavier, further apart, you may be entering Perimenopause.  Am I on the early end of it?  Yes, I am!  But Perimenopause can start anywhere from age 35 to age 55.  Every woman is different.  I have now been in it for a year.  I was 39 years old when Perimenopause started for me.

This has been quite the roller coaster ride, but I'm thankful to have a caring, loving, and understanding Husband by my side! :-)

I have a Dr's Appt in 2 weeks, and hope to get some type of relief for my insomnia, night sweats, etc.

So, Obviously, I am NOT too young for this, even though I thought I was!   Every woman experiences it differently, but I would like to raise awareness, pave the way for friends who have yet to go thru it, or who are going thru it, and bring it out in the open.  It's real.  Let's be open and honest about it with the generations to come!  It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about!

Yes, It's real, and NO I'm not going crazy...well some days I do! :-)

Off to warn my Husband to wear a flotation device to bed, and to TRY and sleep! :-)