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| My Dad with his Grandson Trey. Trey was the only Grandchild he met. Trey was 5 when Dad passed away. |
Today was a rough day for me. I thought that after 17 years, I should be able to get thru the anniversary of Dad's death without being sad and letting it affect me like it does. But, you know what? I decided to give myself some Grace. The loss of my Dad affected me deeply and profoundly. News flash, I know, but I'm human! Humans have feelings. I have feelings. Painful memories such as the loss of a close loved one, they resurface sometimes, and of course they would resurface on the Anniversary of his passing. This is completely normal. So I'm not going to tell myself not to be sad. I'm going to allow myself to just be sad tonight, knowing that tomorrow is the Anniversary of his passing. Even Jesus wept. I miss my Dad. I miss having a Dad. He missed my Wedding. He never met my Husband. I was 25 when he passed. So much life has happened since then. I'm sad for all the things he has missed in my life, yet I would never want him back. Selfishly, yes, but he is pain and worry free in heaven. I listened to this song hundreds of times (alone in my apartment in WI, alone in my car) after his passing and shed lots of tears while listening to it. Thanks to my Sister Pam who posted this song today and reminded me of it. It has a healing effect for me, just listening to it again. I'll warn you that the video itself is really lame, but the words.....the words touch me and bring me peace.
I pray that if you need peace regarding the loss of a loved one, that this song would bring you some peace and comfort.
Saturday Jonathan and I will celebrate our 7th Engagiversary, and 6 months of having Mookie in our lives. I will allow myself to feel happy then. But for tonight, I'm just sad, and that's ok.
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