God is Good! Really?

     Can I just be honest for a few minutes?  When I hear the phrase "God is Good", it makes me mad, seriously mad!  Before you start judging me and preaching to me, let me explain please.  Whenever I hear "God is Good", or see it written on Facebook, it's usually in response to Good News, actually, it's always in response to good news!  Someone gets results that tumors have shrunk, or that the cancer is gone and there are a bazillion comments about how Good God is!   There are tons of "likes".  However, when someone posts about a cancer diagnosis or that the cancer has spread or that treatments aren't working, then people are quiet.  At least this is what I have observed over the years.  So, having the analytical mind that I do, I often thought, so God is only Good when people are cured or their prayers are answered in the way that THEY want them to be answered? 

   Well, what happens when the news is bad?  When prayers aren't answered in the way we WANT them to be answered?  Guess what Friends?  God is STILL GOOD in those times!  His Character doesn't change based on our circumstances.  However, I think people would be offended if they posted bad news and people commented "God is Good!"  But it's true my Friends!  He is ALWAYS ALWAYS Good!  But He isn't a puppet on a stick that we can control by praying!  He is All Knowing, All Loving, Always Present, and Always wants what is best for us.  It's taken me a very long time to realize that my Family and I are not the Victims.  Life is hard and we have had some hard things happen to our Family.  I'm glad I've learned the truth!  God is not out to get my Family.  God is using my Family for something far greater!  I'm praying he is using our Family to lead others to Christ, to help others, to serve others, with a Love that knows the pain of loss and cancer diagnoses and all of the ugliness that goes with these things.  Cancer isn't good, but God can use it for our Good and for His perfect plans.

    February of 2000 my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, just 2 months after my Dad (her Husband) passed away.  She was 47 years young at the time.  She has battled cancer more often than not over the past 16 years.  She has had more chemo and radiation over the past 16 years and worked full time up until a year ago, even though her cancer treatments are a full time job in themselves. She had 2 primary cancers. Breast cancer and bone cancer.  Last August her breast cancer from 15 years prior metastasized to her brain.  The cancer is no longer in her brain.  She is such a Fighter and seriously hands down the strongest woman I know.

     February of 2013 my FIL passed of lung cancer that metastasized to the brain. 

    April 15, 2015 my BIL Scott was diagnosed with a very rare form of Sarcoma called DSRCT, for which there is no cure.  He was 37 at the time.  He is Married to my Baby Sister and their kids are now 13, 11, 9, and 6.  When he has chemo, he has it for 40 hours a week.  It's a Full Time job!  Raising a Family with small children is challenging.  But, raising a family while dealing with cancer, I cannot even imagine.  God is Good!  Really?  Cuz the last time I checked, a cancer with no cure isn't good!!! 

     Last Evening I found out that Mom's breast cancer from 15 years ago has now metastasized to her lung.  If you heard this about your Mom, would your first instinct be to say God is Good?  No, it wouldn't be.  Cuz it wasn't for me.  But after having time to process, I can say that God is Good, even when the circumstances aren't. 

     I believe God will use all of the challenges my Family is currently facing, for our Good and for His Glory. 

     I can't say God is Good when someone is cured  Because it goes against my grain, knowing that the healing doesn't always come, and that God is still just as Good.  I will rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

     Would you please join me in praying for Scott, Debbie and the kids, and Mom and Don, along with all of us who love them?

God is the Reason for the Hope that I Have and I want everyone to know it! 

He is Good!  ALL the Time! :-)

Merry Christmas All! :-)

J-La-Sta

Caffeine Made Me CRAZY....Well, CRAZIER than my "Normal" CRAZY!!!! :-P

Yep!  You read that right!  I, J-La-Sta, haven't had coffee or caffeine (except for a tea I tried when there were no other caffeine free options) in 14 days!  I wish I had figured this out sooner, but by nixing caffeine, I am SO Much Calmer!  Life isn't an overwhelming thing for me like it was before.  Seriously, on a day off, I didn't want to go to the store, because that was "doing something".  It was hard enough just to muster up the energy to hold down a Full Time job (which I always have done).  I had little to no energy left for anything else.  Cooking Dinner was overwhelming.  Grocery shopping was overwhelming.  Laundry was overwhelming.  Even meeting up with a friend was often overwhelming.  On top of being overwhelmed with life, I was also incredibly anxious, and I of course felt guilty and bad for being overwhelmed and constantly anxious.  I told myself lies like "Christians aren't supposed to feel anxious", and that only made me feel more anxious.  I thought this anxiety was my cross to bear in life.  Little did I know that a HUGE cause of my extremely anxious and sleep-deprived self, was caffeine.

Previously I usually had about 16-18 ounces of coffee a day.  I would often sip on the same cup throughout the day and be finishing it as I left work at 6:00pm.   I know it's not good to drink coffee after Noon-2:00pm, but I've since found out that even drinking it in the morning can interfere with sleep.  I'm also on meds for anxiety and I read that caffeine can reduce the effectiveness of at least one of the meds by 50 percent.  I am also on another med that increases the length of time that my body takes to metabolize caffeine. Also, we Ladies can get by with not taking care of ourselves in our 20's and early 30's, but by late 30's - early 40's, we can't get by with that anymore.  At least I've found that I can't get by with that anymore, while at the same time living a healthy and happy life! :-)  I thought my extreme anxiety was caused by perimenopause.  Yes, I am in perimenopause and yes, anxiety is a major symptom of it, but caffeine affects women more as they age.  I guess sometimes I forget that I'm not 25 anymore! :-)

Since going off of caffeine, I have slept so much better!  The pics below show my sleep from the past 2 weeks.  It's been A-MAZ-ing!!!!!!  Losing weight has gotten easier since I'm sleeping instead of eating my points overnight! :-) 

I'm also much less overwhelmed and have much more energy, and that is greatly helping my Husband as well.  I've been cooking much more than I used to, and it doesn't overwhelm me or make me anxious, like it used to.  Take Today for example.  I went to Weight Watchers, did the grocery shopping, and had dinner in the crockpot before 2:00pm. 

You might be asking, REALLY, going off of caffeine has improved the quality of your life this much?  Yes, it surely has!  Do I miss drinking coffee?  Yes.  Did I have withdrawal symptoms?  No.  I was very blessed and never got headaches or anything, but I did sleep and have more energy since day 1 of no caffeine.

I know it's going off of caffeine that is making me feel much calmer.  Last Sunday at Church there was no decaf tea, so I tried regular tea.  Within a half hour, while sitting in church, I began to feel more anxious again.  I had my answer.  I MUST NOT HAVE CAFFEINE EVER AGAIN!  So, my new drink of choice has been peppermint herbal tea.  It's still hot and comforting! :-)

I wish I would have gone off of caffeine sooner, but I am very grateful that I now get GREAT Sleep and that I help my Husband so much more now.  I've learned that I'm actually NOT a bad wife, I was just so anxious and overwhelmed, that holding down a full time job took all the energy I had.

So, if I must veto caffeine for life to get sleep, and have the energy to live a productive life, than it's well worth the minor sacrifice! :-)