The Search For A Godly Spouse

Tuesday evening I was driving home from hanging out with my dear friend Mary. I have heard Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family Broadcasts before, but never paid attention to what time they were on. Well, it was 9:00pm and on this particular evening, his broadcast was about "The Search for a Godly Spouse"! Wow! This was a total "God thing" as I had just broken up with my boyfriend 6 days before that. His program is usually always about Family and hardly ever about Singleness. Pastor Alistair Begg was the guest speaker and I knew God was speaking to me through him!Much of the following information was taken from the Monday & Tuesday evening broadcasts which I listened to on focusonthefamily.com. So, to "All my single ladies"...here is what I took from those broadcasts:

1. In every relationship, a relationship with God must come first. Unless we have a meaningful viable increasing relationship with the Lord Jesus ourselves,… being in the word daily, sharing it regularly, then we really should go no further than that in terms of developing relationships.. It is in direct relationship to our walk with Christ that everything else falls into line.
2. There is no good thing that the Lord will withhold from those whose walk is blameless. If we aren’t in a dating relationship There is no need for panic, God makes everything beautiful in His time. To be unattached to someone of the opposite sex may be God’s very best for you tonight and it may actually be God’s very best for you for always.
3. In developing relationships with the opposite sex, come to the issue slowly, with realistic expectations and without anticipating marriage in any of it’s aspects in the development of friendship. (OK, I must admit that this one seems nearly impossible for women, especially for those of us in our 30's & 40's!!!)
4. Most people in dating are on their best behavior, so you have to be very very careful. You need to see this potential spouse in a variety of situations: Late for an appt in congested traffic while you are in the car with him, visiting hospitalized loved one, watch how he speaks to & treats his mom and he if looks into her eyes in a conversation.
5. Image doesn’t matter more than character. Vitally important to ask yourself, Is the attraction that I feel for this person motivated primarily by physical instincts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Do I enjoy having a conversation with him? Can he carry on an intelligent conversation? Does he or she have a growing interest in spiritual things or do I get the impression that they are simply saying that because they know that it is important to me? Physical beauty is passing. Your beauty shouldn't come from time spent in front of a mirror but rather time spent in the mirror of the Word of God.
6. The absence of a relationship with someone of the opposite sex does not determine our significance or our meaning in life. A single person should never never think that their marital status determines his or her significance in life. The Lord has a good plan for their lives.

Here are two lists of qualities that singles should seek in a potential mate — a list for women and a list for men. Each is a summary of the main points made by the Rev. Alistair Begg on the radio program "The Search for a Godly Spouse."

Women: The man you someday marry should…

• Be committed to growing in His relationship with Jesus Christ
• Demonstrate obvious integrity. You need a husband that is honest to the core to a fault.
• A man that is able to lead boldly, who can think for himself and make good decisions. A girl should never settle for leadership that is selfish and domineering. Should be marked by an attitude of servant hood.
• Who displays the ability to Love sacrificially.
• He should be able to Laugh heartily, especially at himself . Humor is a vital element to preventing marital failure. If he takes himself too seriously, look out.
• Should Model genuine humility . Shouldn’t be stuck on himself. Keeps his focus on others. Can he share in the joy of a competitor’s success?

Men: The woman you someday marry should…

• Have a personal faith in Jesus Christ
• Possess inner beauty, not just outer
• Be an initiative taker and have an attitude of submission
• Be a wife who will help build her husband's confidence
• Display kindness
• Have a sense of humor

I would appreciate your thoughts and comments whether married or single! Agree/Disagree with the information I took from the broadcasts?