A Work In Progress

A Work In Progress

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Hello My Name is Jen & I'm Afraid of Success

I've been working at my current place of employment for 6 months already! I can't believe it! I've been really stressed out about my production and I'm allowing that stress to almost immobilize me, and it is therefore affecting my production. I've had this constant fear of not measuring up to the production standards and then getting fired. I've been convincing myself this all has to do with my Seasonal Affective Disorder. Although SAD is real, I think I'm partially using it as a cop out to not have to deal with other issues. When I first started this job I was freaking out. It was suggested to me that I was afraid of success. I thought I had dealt with this issue and I've been fairly confident up until now. I guess the fear of success can come in spurts. A few people recently have also mentioned that I seem to be scared of success. I guess you get so used to living/thinking a certain way, that you don't even realize you are scared of success. I did some research tonight and found this information at http://www.coping.org/growth/success.htm. Not all of it applies to me, but a LOT of it does! According to this article "Accepting yourself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous, and accomplished" is one of the new behavior patters than can help to overcome the fear of success. I guess I'm so used to being "depressed" and struggling and "playing the victim" that it's all I know. It's really easy to fall back into thoughts and behavior patterns you've always known. It sounds warped, but it's comfortable there. Not happy, but comfortable in some sick way. I don't want to sabotage my success at this job. I believe Satan has been working overtime with me and my thoughts and I've been allowing the negative thoughts to come in and stay. The very first sentence about the fear of success is "Suppressing anxieties of not being good enough." BINGO! But, I am good enough. I am a daughter of the King who created me and loved me enough to die for me! :) I'm trying to get back into regularly reading Scripture and spending time with God. Last evening I happened to open 2 different Bibles to the same portion of scripture. I think God's trying to tell me something! :) James 4:7 & 8A "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." I'm thankful that God has opened my eyes to what's really going on. I'm used to being the Jen who is depressed who needs a better job, etc..but I'm not that person anymore. I may fall back to the old ways at times like these, but I'm not that same person. Thankfully these "bouts of depression" are getting fewer and farther between. I pray that the Lord would grant me clarity to see what is all going on here, that He would show me how much of the anxiety I've been experiencing is chemical, how much is due to SAD, and which issues I just need to continue to work on in order to have a happier future.

I hope you can gain some insight from the information below, as I have.


What is fear of success?
Suppressing anxieties of not being good enough,
Uniting all talents and virtues for a greater good
Confronting and dismissing existing fears in an appropriate manner , Recognizing and welcoming the
Chance to triumph over competition without feeling unworthy or undeserving
Expressing views and opinions without hesitation. Setting
Sights on a goal and achieving it with both sacrifices and rewards. These make up the rough climb, the seemingly impossible
Steps that if completed always lead straight to success, rewarding those who persevere.


Fear of success is the:

  • Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content, or satisfied once you reach your goal.
  • Belief that you are undeserving of all the good things and recognition that come your way as a result of your accomplishments and successes.
  • Opposite of fear of failure, in that fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes and losing approval. Fear of success is the fear of accomplishment and being recognized and honored.
    Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life.
  • Fear that your accomplishments can self-destruct at anytime.
  • Belief that no matter how much you are able to achieve or accomplish, it will never be enough to sustain success.
  • Belief that there are others out there who are better than you, who will replace or displace you if you do not maintain your performance record.
  • Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment.
  • Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade.
  • Fear that you will find no happiness in your accomplishments; that you will be perpetually dissatisfied with life.

What are the negative consequences of the fear of success?


Fear of success can result in:

  • A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself in school, on the job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal growth.
  • Self-destructive behavior: tripping yourself up to make sure you do not sustain a certain level of success or achievement you once had in school, on the job, at home, in relationships, or in your personal growth.
  • Problems making decisions, being unable to solve problems.
  • Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve, and succeed.
  • Chronic underachievement.
  • Feeling guilt, confusion, and anxiety when you do achieve success. This leads you to falter, waver, and eventually lose your momentum.
  • Sabotaging any gains you made in your personal growth and mental health, because once you become healthier, a better problem solver, and more "together,'' you fear that no one will pay attention to you. You are habituated to receiving help, sympathy, and compassionate support.
  • Your choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy, and successful.
  • Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism, and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life.
  • Denouncing your achievements and accomplishments; seeking ways in which you can denigrate yourself enough to lose what you've gained.

    What do those who fear success believe?
  • I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
  • I know people care about me when I am down and out, but will they like me when I am on top and successful?
  • I've never been happy before, so how can I be sure I'll be happy once I achieve my goals?
  • I am nothing, and I deserve nothing.
  • How can people like me if I succeed in reaching my goals in life?
  • I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals.
  • How can I be sure that my good fortunes won't go sour and be destroyed?
  • There are always more demands and more needs that have to be met in order for me to be successful, no matter what I do it will never be enough.
  • They are all better, brighter, smarter, and more talented than I am. I really don't deserve to be successful.
  • It's hard to be at the top!
  • Everyone is out to shoot down the head man!
  • No one really likes a winner.
  • Everyone goes for the underdog.
  • I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged.
  • Hard work, no play, and constant effort make me happy. What would I do if it were different?
  • I feel so guilty when I realize how much I have been given in my life.
  • I'm always afraid I'm going to lose it all.
  • Starting over again gives me meaning and a sense of mission and purpose.
  • I'm so bored with what I've accomplished. What's left to do?
  • Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to.

What new behavior patterns can help in overcoming your fear of success?

  • Learning to reinforce yourself for the hard work, effort, and sacrifices you've made to achieve success
  • Being able to honestly appraise your level of achievement, success, and accomplishment
  • Accepting yourself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous, and accomplished
  • Not giving yourself any excuses for being unsuccessful
  • Giving others in your life permission to give you honest, open, candid feedback when they see you self-destructing or backsliding
  • Monitoring your level of commitment and motivation to reach your goals
  • Visualizing your life when you are successful
  • Giving others credit, recognition, and support for their personal achievements, successes, and accomplishments
  • Honest, open, realistic self-talk that encourages you to work your hardest to achieve the goals you have set for yourself
  • Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind

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