To Live is to Love. To Grieve is to Love. It's All About Love!

It's All About LOVE!

"A time to cry and a time to laugh.  A time to grieve and a time to dance." ~Ecclesiastes 3:8 NLT

"Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love." ~Lamentations 3:32 NLT

"O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? ~1 Corinthians 15:55 NLT

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." ~2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT

  To Say December 8th doesn't affect me would be lying!  I pride myself on being as "REAL" as I know how to be!  I can't stand fake people and fake happiness!  It wouldn't be normal if I wrote a blog saying "YAY!  It's December 8th!  My Dad died 19 Years Ago Today and I'm So Happy!  He Didn't get to meet My Husband and I'm So Glad He wasn't here to Walk me Down the Aisle when I got Married!  Let's Party!"  Seriously?  Who does that?  No one I know, who had any semblance of a Relationship with Their Earthly Father! 

December 8th sucks for me!  It really and truly does!  My Life changed forever that day!  I was 25 Years Young, and Single.  Most of My Friends were losing their Grandparents, not their Parents.  I was living alone in an Apt in Cudahy WI at the time and I would cry for hours and write out my Feelings, and cry some more, and listen to Christian songs about Heaven, and cry some more.  You get the point!  I even joined AOL Chat Rooms on the Loss of a Father/Loss of a Parent. I wanted to talk to others who understood some aspect of what losing a Dad was like.  To this Day, I'm still Friends with my Friend Melani!  She lost her Dad in Sept or Oct of the Same Year.  Can You believe we have never met in Person, but 19 years of Online Friendship came about because of losing our Dads.  She lives in San Antonio, TX and I REALLY want to meet her in Person one day! 

This Christmas will be the 20th Christmas without my Dad here on this Earth!  So many great memories have been made without him. Eight Years Ago, on December 10th, 2010, my now Husband, Jonathan, asked me to Marry Him.  Thanks for adding some Love and Happiness and Joy to my Dark December, Babes! :-) 

My Dad wasn't perfect by any means, and I know that for quite some time after his passing, I glorified him.  It's easy to glorify the dead.  To make it seem that you lost a perfect person.  I'm not perfect and he wasn't either.  We both said/did things to hurt one another.  That's life.  But, to Live is to Love!  To Grieve is to Love too!  I loved him, and I grieve the many years he's missed of my Life.  Yes, he would have been 78 Years Old this Year.  He had just turned 59 when he passed away.

I know he is in Heaven.  I wouldn't wish him back for anything.  He is enjoying eternal bliss with Jesus and other loved ones that have gone before us. He no longer experiences crying or pain or death or car problems! LOL  Those who knew him know what I mean by the car problems thing.  I truly believe his passing made me a stronger person.  I may suffer from depression, and I may cry, but God has made me strong!  I am there to support my Friends and Family when they lose loved ones.  That is what God wants me to do.

The other day I was googling how to handle the anniversary of a loved one's death.  One of the things I read, was to watch a TV Show or Movie that they like to watch.  The first thing that popped into my head was "Herbie The Love Bug"?  Ok, I'm dating myself here!  Herbie The Love Bug was a set of 3 or 4 movies that I had no idea were even old when we watched them as kids on TV.  My Dad's Name was Herbert/Herb/Herbie!  I remember us watching those movies as a Family.  I didn't remember much about the movies, except for they were about a VW Bug and they had the name Herbie in them.  So, Yesterday I told Jonathan that Today I wanted to watch one or 2 of those Movies. So, we did.  After I did a delivery for my Business, we watched "The Love Bug".  That was the 1st Movie in the series and it was actually made in 1969!  This was before I was born!  The next one was called "Herbie Rides Again".  That one was made in 1974 (the year of my birth).  We only had time to watch the 1st one, but I was proud of myself for doing something fun to memorialize my Dad.  That's the first time I've ever done something like this.  Many thanks to Jonathan for watching the Movie with me.  It was a bit corny, but it was a part of my Childhood, and a part of Jonathan's Childhood too.  Maybe I will watch the 2nd one Tomorrow?  I did laugh a bit! :-)

So I've done my Grieving for Today, and also remembering and laughing a bit too.  But, it's ok if I grieve later today too.  There is no wrong or right way to grieve or to handle the Anniversary of a loved ones death.  If you ever want to talk to me about the passing/loss of your loved one, I'm here for you! 

Now it's time to Live for Today, in these precious moments we are given.  My Husband and I are heading to Dinner soon to Celebrate our 8th Year Engagiversary!  Yes!  We are Old!  We are going to eat around 5pm!  Then we are going to see a Movie (which we never do) at 7pm!  We are pretty frugal when it comes to Entertainment.  We prefer to spend it on Vacations instead.  Plus, rarely do we agree on Movies to see, and it's hard for me to pay attention to Movies at home.  So, Jonathan usually goes to see Movies with a guy Friend.

Pic Taken The Evening We Got Engaged - 12/10/10.

It's ALL About Love People!  Let's stop the hate and the bigotry please!  Let's be nice to each other, no matter if they share our political views, or our view of life, or whatever the argument happens to be over!  Life is Short!  To Grieve is to Love.  To Live is to Love!  So, let's Love with all we have! 

Life is Tough, but God is Faithful!

Happy Heavenly Anniversary Dad!  I Love and Miss You!

Jen Jen (no one else is allowed to call me this, not even Jonathan)

August 8th and 9th Updates Scott is Out of ICU but Still has Many Challenges Ahead of Him

Thank You for Your Thoughts and Prayers! ~Jen

Out of ICU yesterday

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Aug 8, 2018

I go back and forth between posting on Facebook and Caring Bridge. I’m sorry if you’re not on Facebook, and didn’t see that we were out of ICU. I’m trying my best to keep up with everything.

We got out of ICU yesterday afternoon. It’s wonderful to be back on 8NT, much to the surprise of our nurses from the July 20th surgery. They all feel terrible that we’re back again, but they are happy to have Scott as a patient. He really is the BEST patient you could ask for. So sweet and laid back, even when he’s in rough shape. What a fighter! I’m blessed to call him my husband and best friend!

Scott is still on TPN (nutrition through his port). Unfortunately, he’s not ready to get rid of his NG tube yet. After multiple surgeries so close together, his tummy is going to take longer to wake back up. I’m sure his body is so confused as to what is going on. He was 2 weeks into the healing process and then opened back up. It’s shocking to the system.

We got our walker today and he did an excellent job walking in the hall for about 5 minutes. That’s the first he has taken more than 5 steps since Saturday night when I brought him to Froedtert.

Thanks to amazing friends and family, our kids get to go to Redemption Church Camp. We go when we can, but knew this year wasn’t possible with Scott’s surgery. It’s even more impossible with a second surgery.

The kids haven’t seen much of Scott in the past 3 weeks. With them leaving tomorrow and Friday (2 each day), they want to see Scott before they leave. My Mom is hoping to bring them up today for a short visit. Lexi is babysitting, so hopefully we can get her up here tomorrow night.

Scott is still on 3 very strong antibiotics, along with a lot of fluids to keep him hydrated. He’s getting a bunch of other things too... potassium for sure, but I’m not sure what else. He didn’t need a second blood transfusion, which is good.

Walking really tired him out, and he’s sleeping well right now, even with the nurses taking vitals and doing stuff with all of his IV’s. He is worn out!!! Sleep is always beneficial for the healing process.

That’s the update for now. Thank you so much to EVERYONE for EVERYTHING that you are doing to make our life a bit easier. The saying goes, “It takes a village!” I’m so thankful for the village of friends and family that we have on our side. Blessed beyond belief doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel!

I worry so much about not getting thank you notes out to everyone who has helped us in one way or another, but I hope this public thank you can be enough for right now. I can’t even keep it all straight, since people are helping while I’m here with Scott, and I may not even realize it.

A friend loves at all times.
Proverbs 17:17

Roller coaster ride

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 4 hours ago

This whole recovery from yet another surgery so close to the last, is definitely a roller coaster ride.

I like to step out and get something to eat, walk, or do a puzzle while he’s sleeping. Last night, that wasn’t possible. He really needed me every 15-20 minutes. He is still very weak, and has so many tubes everywhere. He needs help with every move he makes. The silly machine beeps every time he moves, which had him at his boiling point. There’s only so much a person can take!

Around 2 or 3 AM (I’m not sure) I heard him calling “Deborah”. That means he really needs me! He said, “I think I pulled out my NG tube.” I walk over to him, and sure enough, he had somehow accidentally pulled it out in his sleep. He said he woke up and could actually breathe well and knew something wasn’t right. I was praying that they wouldn’t insist on putting it back in. They said as long as he didn’t vomit or have a lot of nausea, he could keep it out. He is doing well without it.

Last night he spiked a fever and it was over 101 again this morning. It is a concern to the nurses and surgical team, especially since he’s already on 3 strong antibiotics. If the fever comes back tonight, they will run some more blood cultures. Please pray for a fever free night!

His blood sugar was high last night and again this morning. He had to get insulin both times. He’s never had that happen before. I’m learning even more about medical things during this hospital stay, as if I don’t already know enough.

He was a little bit more awake for a bit of the morning. Yesterday he couldn’t stay awake for long at all.

He did a lot from 9AM-1PM and then he was exhausted and slept hard! He walked the halls twice, watched the Price is Right, got bathed, and has spent most of the morning in the recliner. It’s good to get him out of bed for a large part of the day!

An infectious disease Dr. just stopped in to see us. He wanted to talk about antibiotics and explain C-diff to us. We told him that Scott had C-diff in New York. Scott does not have it currently and we hope it is avoided. He is going to take Scott off of 2 antibiotics and only keep him on Zosyn for 4 weeks. It will be great to get him down to only 1 antibiotic.

His potassium is constantly low, and when they give it to him in his arm, it makes his arm burn like it’s on fire. He is currently getting 2 hours of potassium. He’s still getting 24/7 TPN nutrition. It’s been almost a week since he’s eaten any food. Saturday was the last time he drank anything. I feel horrible for him.

He is still getting an overload of fluids. What goes in must come out. I feel bad that he has to go so often. It’s a huge annoyance, and like I said before, it’s so hard to maneuver with all of the tubes and wires.

Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3