To Live is to Love. To Grieve is to Love. It's All About Love!

It's All About LOVE!

"A time to cry and a time to laugh.  A time to grieve and a time to dance." ~Ecclesiastes 3:8 NLT

"Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love." ~Lamentations 3:32 NLT

"O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? ~1 Corinthians 15:55 NLT

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." ~2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT

  To Say December 8th doesn't affect me would be lying!  I pride myself on being as "REAL" as I know how to be!  I can't stand fake people and fake happiness!  It wouldn't be normal if I wrote a blog saying "YAY!  It's December 8th!  My Dad died 19 Years Ago Today and I'm So Happy!  He Didn't get to meet My Husband and I'm So Glad He wasn't here to Walk me Down the Aisle when I got Married!  Let's Party!"  Seriously?  Who does that?  No one I know, who had any semblance of a Relationship with Their Earthly Father! 

December 8th sucks for me!  It really and truly does!  My Life changed forever that day!  I was 25 Years Young, and Single.  Most of My Friends were losing their Grandparents, not their Parents.  I was living alone in an Apt in Cudahy WI at the time and I would cry for hours and write out my Feelings, and cry some more, and listen to Christian songs about Heaven, and cry some more.  You get the point!  I even joined AOL Chat Rooms on the Loss of a Father/Loss of a Parent. I wanted to talk to others who understood some aspect of what losing a Dad was like.  To this Day, I'm still Friends with my Friend Melani!  She lost her Dad in Sept or Oct of the Same Year.  Can You believe we have never met in Person, but 19 years of Online Friendship came about because of losing our Dads.  She lives in San Antonio, TX and I REALLY want to meet her in Person one day! 

This Christmas will be the 20th Christmas without my Dad here on this Earth!  So many great memories have been made without him. Eight Years Ago, on December 10th, 2010, my now Husband, Jonathan, asked me to Marry Him.  Thanks for adding some Love and Happiness and Joy to my Dark December, Babes! :-) 

My Dad wasn't perfect by any means, and I know that for quite some time after his passing, I glorified him.  It's easy to glorify the dead.  To make it seem that you lost a perfect person.  I'm not perfect and he wasn't either.  We both said/did things to hurt one another.  That's life.  But, to Live is to Love!  To Grieve is to Love too!  I loved him, and I grieve the many years he's missed of my Life.  Yes, he would have been 78 Years Old this Year.  He had just turned 59 when he passed away.

I know he is in Heaven.  I wouldn't wish him back for anything.  He is enjoying eternal bliss with Jesus and other loved ones that have gone before us. He no longer experiences crying or pain or death or car problems! LOL  Those who knew him know what I mean by the car problems thing.  I truly believe his passing made me a stronger person.  I may suffer from depression, and I may cry, but God has made me strong!  I am there to support my Friends and Family when they lose loved ones.  That is what God wants me to do.

The other day I was googling how to handle the anniversary of a loved one's death.  One of the things I read, was to watch a TV Show or Movie that they like to watch.  The first thing that popped into my head was "Herbie The Love Bug"?  Ok, I'm dating myself here!  Herbie The Love Bug was a set of 3 or 4 movies that I had no idea were even old when we watched them as kids on TV.  My Dad's Name was Herbert/Herb/Herbie!  I remember us watching those movies as a Family.  I didn't remember much about the movies, except for they were about a VW Bug and they had the name Herbie in them.  So, Yesterday I told Jonathan that Today I wanted to watch one or 2 of those Movies. So, we did.  After I did a delivery for my Business, we watched "The Love Bug".  That was the 1st Movie in the series and it was actually made in 1969!  This was before I was born!  The next one was called "Herbie Rides Again".  That one was made in 1974 (the year of my birth).  We only had time to watch the 1st one, but I was proud of myself for doing something fun to memorialize my Dad.  That's the first time I've ever done something like this.  Many thanks to Jonathan for watching the Movie with me.  It was a bit corny, but it was a part of my Childhood, and a part of Jonathan's Childhood too.  Maybe I will watch the 2nd one Tomorrow?  I did laugh a bit! :-)

So I've done my Grieving for Today, and also remembering and laughing a bit too.  But, it's ok if I grieve later today too.  There is no wrong or right way to grieve or to handle the Anniversary of a loved ones death.  If you ever want to talk to me about the passing/loss of your loved one, I'm here for you! 

Now it's time to Live for Today, in these precious moments we are given.  My Husband and I are heading to Dinner soon to Celebrate our 8th Year Engagiversary!  Yes!  We are Old!  We are going to eat around 5pm!  Then we are going to see a Movie (which we never do) at 7pm!  We are pretty frugal when it comes to Entertainment.  We prefer to spend it on Vacations instead.  Plus, rarely do we agree on Movies to see, and it's hard for me to pay attention to Movies at home.  So, Jonathan usually goes to see Movies with a guy Friend.

Pic Taken The Evening We Got Engaged - 12/10/10.

It's ALL About Love People!  Let's stop the hate and the bigotry please!  Let's be nice to each other, no matter if they share our political views, or our view of life, or whatever the argument happens to be over!  Life is Short!  To Grieve is to Love.  To Live is to Love!  So, let's Love with all we have! 

Life is Tough, but God is Faithful!

Happy Heavenly Anniversary Dad!  I Love and Miss You!

Jen Jen (no one else is allowed to call me this, not even Jonathan)

August 8th and 9th Updates Scott is Out of ICU but Still has Many Challenges Ahead of Him

Thank You for Your Thoughts and Prayers! ~Jen

Out of ICU yesterday

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Aug 8, 2018

I go back and forth between posting on Facebook and Caring Bridge. I’m sorry if you’re not on Facebook, and didn’t see that we were out of ICU. I’m trying my best to keep up with everything.

We got out of ICU yesterday afternoon. It’s wonderful to be back on 8NT, much to the surprise of our nurses from the July 20th surgery. They all feel terrible that we’re back again, but they are happy to have Scott as a patient. He really is the BEST patient you could ask for. So sweet and laid back, even when he’s in rough shape. What a fighter! I’m blessed to call him my husband and best friend!

Scott is still on TPN (nutrition through his port). Unfortunately, he’s not ready to get rid of his NG tube yet. After multiple surgeries so close together, his tummy is going to take longer to wake back up. I’m sure his body is so confused as to what is going on. He was 2 weeks into the healing process and then opened back up. It’s shocking to the system.

We got our walker today and he did an excellent job walking in the hall for about 5 minutes. That’s the first he has taken more than 5 steps since Saturday night when I brought him to Froedtert.

Thanks to amazing friends and family, our kids get to go to Redemption Church Camp. We go when we can, but knew this year wasn’t possible with Scott’s surgery. It’s even more impossible with a second surgery.

The kids haven’t seen much of Scott in the past 3 weeks. With them leaving tomorrow and Friday (2 each day), they want to see Scott before they leave. My Mom is hoping to bring them up today for a short visit. Lexi is babysitting, so hopefully we can get her up here tomorrow night.

Scott is still on 3 very strong antibiotics, along with a lot of fluids to keep him hydrated. He’s getting a bunch of other things too... potassium for sure, but I’m not sure what else. He didn’t need a second blood transfusion, which is good.

Walking really tired him out, and he’s sleeping well right now, even with the nurses taking vitals and doing stuff with all of his IV’s. He is worn out!!! Sleep is always beneficial for the healing process.

That’s the update for now. Thank you so much to EVERYONE for EVERYTHING that you are doing to make our life a bit easier. The saying goes, “It takes a village!” I’m so thankful for the village of friends and family that we have on our side. Blessed beyond belief doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel!

I worry so much about not getting thank you notes out to everyone who has helped us in one way or another, but I hope this public thank you can be enough for right now. I can’t even keep it all straight, since people are helping while I’m here with Scott, and I may not even realize it.

A friend loves at all times.
Proverbs 17:17

Roller coaster ride

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 4 hours ago

This whole recovery from yet another surgery so close to the last, is definitely a roller coaster ride.

I like to step out and get something to eat, walk, or do a puzzle while he’s sleeping. Last night, that wasn’t possible. He really needed me every 15-20 minutes. He is still very weak, and has so many tubes everywhere. He needs help with every move he makes. The silly machine beeps every time he moves, which had him at his boiling point. There’s only so much a person can take!

Around 2 or 3 AM (I’m not sure) I heard him calling “Deborah”. That means he really needs me! He said, “I think I pulled out my NG tube.” I walk over to him, and sure enough, he had somehow accidentally pulled it out in his sleep. He said he woke up and could actually breathe well and knew something wasn’t right. I was praying that they wouldn’t insist on putting it back in. They said as long as he didn’t vomit or have a lot of nausea, he could keep it out. He is doing well without it.

Last night he spiked a fever and it was over 101 again this morning. It is a concern to the nurses and surgical team, especially since he’s already on 3 strong antibiotics. If the fever comes back tonight, they will run some more blood cultures. Please pray for a fever free night!

His blood sugar was high last night and again this morning. He had to get insulin both times. He’s never had that happen before. I’m learning even more about medical things during this hospital stay, as if I don’t already know enough.

He was a little bit more awake for a bit of the morning. Yesterday he couldn’t stay awake for long at all.

He did a lot from 9AM-1PM and then he was exhausted and slept hard! He walked the halls twice, watched the Price is Right, got bathed, and has spent most of the morning in the recliner. It’s good to get him out of bed for a large part of the day!

An infectious disease Dr. just stopped in to see us. He wanted to talk about antibiotics and explain C-diff to us. We told him that Scott had C-diff in New York. Scott does not have it currently and we hope it is avoided. He is going to take Scott off of 2 antibiotics and only keep him on Zosyn for 4 weeks. It will be great to get him down to only 1 antibiotic.

His potassium is constantly low, and when they give it to him in his arm, it makes his arm burn like it’s on fire. He is currently getting 2 hours of potassium. He’s still getting 24/7 TPN nutrition. It’s been almost a week since he’s eaten any food. Saturday was the last time he drank anything. I feel horrible for him.

He is still getting an overload of fluids. What goes in must come out. I feel bad that he has to go so often. It’s a huge annoyance, and like I said before, it’s so hard to maneuver with all of the tubes and wires.

Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful man, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3

August 6th Caring Bridge Updates Re: Scott

Stable in ICU

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Aug 6, 2018

Scott remained stable all night. His blood pressure is “a little soft” as they keep saying. It has been hanging around 88/50. His heart rate is perfect around 78, and his oxygen level is 99 or 100. These are all good signs.

Some early blood cultures are coming back that showed infection, possibly sepsis, that was in the hemotoma. He has remained fever free since that was all removed. 

The surgical team came around at 5:50AM and told us that his hemoglobin is low. He’ll be getting a blood transfusion later today. His potassium is low again and he’s receiving IV potassium. 

We are praying for NG tube removal and getting out of ICU to go back to 8NT where we were just a little over 2 weeks ago. Hopefully those 2 things will happen today or tomorrow. I’ll update when we know more.

Quiet day

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Aug 6, 2018

Today has been a pretty quiet day in the ICU, which is a very good thing! Scott has remained fever free. His blood pressure is great at 111/66 currently. 

The nurse and physical therapist helped him get to a chair to sit for a couple hours today. He hasn’t walked yet, but that will come soon.

His hemoglobin was low this morning, so he got a blood transfusion today. He is on 3 very strong antibiotics to make sure all infection is gone and stays away. They started TPN tonight which is 24/7 nutrition. They wanted to place a PICC line to give him the TPA. I asked nicely if there was ANY other way to give it to him. They said they didn’t want to give it through his port due to risk of infection. They are thinking that he will only need it for a couple of days, so it was approved to go through his port. I am so thankful that I asked and that they didn’t need to place a PICC line. His PICC line 3 years ago was a living nightmare. He was extremely relieved to not go through that horrible ordeal again, and I told him that I’ve got his back. I will always be his advocate, and that is why I never want to leave his side. I’m his voice.

Our prayer is to get out of the ICU tomorrow. He will be moved to another room, hopefully on 8NT where he was 2 1/2 weeks ago. The nurses are great on 8NT. They will probably be surprised to see us back. I’m surprised too.

Show me your ways, O Lord, 
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long. 
Psalm 25:4-5

ICU. More Surgery. Back in ICU. Please Pray for Scott, Debbie and my Nieces & Nephews!

I posted the oldest update first.  Most recent update is below.  ~Jen

How quickly things change

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 11 hours ago

Scott had that great follow up appointment on Wednesday. Things were the same on Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning. By early Saturday afternoon, Scott wasn’t feeling well and started to feel warm around 5PM. He never said anything to me, but I noticed something wasn’t right.

Hannah was at Camp Bird all week, and came home Saturday around 4. Scott would normally be asking her questions about camp and joking around with her. He barely said hi to her. When I felt him, he was burning up. His temperature was 101.5 at 8:15. He took Tylenol and it was 102 at 10:15. When I called the nurse line at 8:20, they said to go in immediately if the Tylenol didn’t take the fever down under 101.5. 

We got to Froedtert around 11:45PM. His white blood was elevated, his Phosphorus and Magnesium were really low. They started him on fluids and supplements for those 2 things. 

They were going to take him for a CT scan and his blood pressure dropped to 79/50. His heart rate was up to 138. They took him into the trauma area to be monitored much more closely. A gun shot victim was rushed in while we were in there. It was absolute chaos and a lot to handle all at once. Yikes! 

Around 4AM, they took him to the CT scan. After that, he was heading straight to ICU. I finally got word in the family center at 6:15AM that I could go see him in ICU. 

I’ve been here for about an hour. He has slept the whole time, but squeezed my hand and opened his eyes for yes and no answers for his nurse.

His temperature at 7:05 was 102.9. The scan showed fluid in his abdomen. He will need a drain or surgery. We are waiting on word from the surgical team.

PLEASE PRAY for my love!!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 4:6-7

Surgery

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 2 hours ago

We were told around 8AM that he would have to be taken in for surgery again. This news was very disheartening, to say the least. 

The surgeon was afraid that there was a leak where the colon was reattached after surgery 2 weeks ago. The CT scan showed something in the pelvis. After going back into his peritoneum, Dr. Mogal discovered that it was a hematoma (blood clot). He was able to remove it.

The surgery took approximately 2 hours. When Dr. Mogal talked to me about the surgery, he said that he isn’t sure what made him so sick. All signs lead him to believe that there was sepsis somewhere. He’s unsure at this point where it occurred. 

I’m having a very hard time staying awake to write this post. Scott is in the ICU for at least 24 hours. He’s under close observation to make sure his fevers don’t return. Scott could be hospitalized longer than he was for his surgery 2 week ago. We’ll just have to see how it goes.

Currently, his fever is gone, so that’s something to be thankful for. I’m going to go home for a quick nap and shower soon before I come back here. 

Thank you for your prayers, love, and support. They are greatly appreciated and very much needed for a long road to recovery that lies ahead for us.

Debbie's Caring Bridge Updates From 7/26, 7/27, & 7/29

More progress

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Jul 26, 2018

This morning, the surgical team came in and said that the epidural was going to come out today. The great news is that Scott is free of all cords, tubes, etc. except for 1 IV in his right arm. It is much easier to walk the halls with less tubes and things coming out of him.

The down side to not having an epidural anymore is that he can’t just push a button when he needs more meds. He has to call a nurse to come and give him more in his IV. It doesn’t get through his system as quickly or as well either. He has been experiencing more belly pain for this reason. 

Overall, today was a pretty quiet day. He walked the halls 4 times. He also did some simple exercises to help get some strength back. He’s doing everything that he needs to do to get closer and closer to going home.

The pain meds make him very sleepy. He was awake a lot more today than he has been. He still struggles to stay awake throughout the day while watching a show or talking to me at times. 

Slowly, but surely, he’s improving. He looks really good for a guy who just had an 11 hour abdominal surgery 6 days ago. He continues to amaze me, after 3 years and 3 months of fighting DSRCT.

Some friends of mine have recently received really tough news about their husbands cancer battle. It is very important to be there for them and encourage them on this road that we’re traveling together. None of us asked for this or deserve it, but we stick together in the fight. I encourage all of you to be there for each other, no matter what you’re going through yourself. People need each other to keep going and to be told to never give up! 

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Proverbs 12:25

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Hebrews 10:24

On that note, I am forever grateful to friends, family, and complete strangers who have shown love to us in one way or another. Blessings flow abundantly in so many ways! Kind words that are spoken, cards sent, meals delivered or dropped off to our home, gifts given to me as survival tools for the hospital stay, offering help in whatever way is needed, giving our kids time and attention, giving a much needed hug, and on and on. We are blessed with an entire community of amazing people. If you think that good doesn’t exist in the world, I beg to differ. God is so good!

Of course our life is far from easy, but we will all be better equipped to face tomorrow because of what we are going through today. Much love to all of you reading this update.

Such an encouraging morning!!!

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Jul 27, 2018

First of all, not that this is about me at all, but I finally slept straight through the night. I slept from 1AM until the surgical team came in with Dr. Mogal at 7:45AM. The lack of sleep has been adding up for me and affecting me, so it felt so good to sleep!

Dr. Mogal shared the best news ever with us! He said that the pathology reports all came back. He told us that he removed so much scar tissue, nodules, possible small areas of concern, etc. and the ONLY thing that came back cancerous was the golf ball sized tumor that was connected to the sigmoid colon! How Great is our God?!?! This news is truly amazing for a person with DSRCT! We couldn’t be happier!

Scott is free of everything, except for an IV in his right arm, which is not hooked up to anything. It will stay there until he goes home, just in case he needs it. He is taking medication by mouth. He will get Lovenox shots for a month, so I’ll be doing those twice a day. I’ve done it before and the nurses say I’m a pro. It just stinks to have to stab your husband.

Scott is being so tough and pushing himself so hard so that he can get out of here. It’s great to walk the halls now with no pole dragging alongside him. He has been walking without the walker as much as possible. I usually push it alongside him, in case he needs it. That is comical. The nurses just smile. We have fun with it, because why not??? You have to do something to bring joy to a hospital stay. 

He begins to really feel pain when he’s about to be due for his next pain medication. That’s always a hard part of the day for him. 

He was put on a low fiber diet this morning and ate his first bite of food since last Wednesday. He’s going light on the food, because his stomach needs to get used to eating again, slowly but surely.

I’m working on this post in shifts. We just got back from walking the halls again. PT caught us at the end. She had him do one flight of stairs up and back down. He did an awesome job. She had him get in and out of bed alone. He passed the test, and was cleared by PT. She took the walker away and said she doesn’t need to see him anymore. I’m so proud of him! One step closer to going home. 😁

Scott has always been a hard worker. In the past, that related to his job. Currently, that relates to his fight against cancer. This passage comes to mind.

Colossians 3:23-24
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

All of his hard work makes him tired. I love this passage! He definitely has God on his side in this battle.

God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

Scott is home

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Jul 29, 2018

I’m going to make this short and sweet, because I have a lot to do!

Scott was discharged from the hospital and was able to go home at 12:30PM today. They have been mentioning the possibility of going home for a couple of days now, but we didn’t want to tell anyone until it was reality. We are so happy to have him home with us!

I will update later and let everyone know how we’re adapting to life after surgery (at home). Please continue to pray for Scott’s complete healing. We were told that it could take 3 months for a full recovery.

From Jen:  Thank You for your continued Thoughts and Prayers for my Family! :-)

There's No Place Like Home!

Forty Days ago Today we left home for a 3 night Tent Camping Trip at Pokagon State Park in Angola, IN.  We came home early on Father's Day (Sunday, June 17th) so we could get unpacked and Jonathan could relax before returning to work after his long 4 day Weekend.  I walked into the House and into the Kitchen and noticed water everywhere on the floor.  It was pouring out of the Dishwasher.  The Dishwasher was not on when we left, and we did not set it to run while we were gone.  Jonathan opened the Dishwasher and more hot water came gushing out of the Dishwasher.  He shut the water off.  This was a Sunday, so having a Plumber come out would be really expensive.  As we looked around the house, we noticed that the water was everywhere!  The hallway carpeting was slushy, the living room carpeting was slushy, the carpeting in the bedrooms was wet, the Kitchen and Laundry Room and a Bathroom were completely soaked with standing water.  We immediately called the Water Mitigation Company who came and put down 3 fans and a dehumidifier.

Today is day 37 of dealing with this situation.  This house situation is far worse than the Ice Damming situation we went thru in February.  That time we lived with 4 walls down to the studs, but we were only out of our home for 9 nights when it was being restored.  However, back then we felt completely alone.  We didn't feel like we had support (although we did have KFC brought to us and a gift card from Friends was gifted to us, and a neighbor brought over a beautiful yellow plant). Oh, I'm also Thankful for beautiful flowers and a Starbucks Gift Card from a Friend. If I forgot something and didn't mention it here, I apologize, it's been a rough year.  The thing that makes this situation easier to handle is that we have the support of our Small Group at Church.  We joined this Group the end of April of this Year.  One of the Families actually invited us to stay with them for the 2 nights that we had to have our water off (including our dog, Mookie).  Then the man of the house helped Jonathan move the dishwasher to try what the plumbing company suggested.  After we moved home for 2 nights, the first night another couple from our small group had pizza delivered to us!  Then the same couple brought us cookies and contacted 2 Pastors at our Church so we could be added to the meal train.  We are getting 1 meal a week for 6 weeks. While Jonathan was out of Town for Work, my Neighbor Friend treated me to Dinner and we had a lovely Conversation. Our Friend brought us donuts.  The Family we stayed with also had us over for a cookout the Saturday after the flooding was discovered, had us over for 4th of July celebrations and brought Pizza for Dinner when we invited them to come swimming at our pool. We also had other Great Friends invite us for a Lunch Cookout to Celebrate the 4th of July! This past Sunday, Parents of a Friend of ours gifted us with a Gift card for Dinner.  The Support of our Small Group has made this Incredibly difficult situation much easier to bear.  We don't feel completely alone like we did the first time.  We do not feel like we have Family Support.  But, our Small Group has been our Family, and for that we are extremely Grateful.  Without them, we would once again be feeling all alone.  As it is, it's a lonely place to be in.  Many of my Friends have been out of Town and it's been a hard week.  Monday I had just gotten back to Normalcy and then Friday Happened.  Friday my BIL had an 11 hour major surgery in Milwaukee.  As most of you know, he has battled a rare form of Sarcoma since April of 2015. My heart and mind and prayers have been focused on my Sister and BIL

No.  Jonathan and I are not experiencing health issues, and for that we are extremely grateful, but, as with most things, until a person has been thru something, they really don't know much about what it feels like to be in a situation like this.  We have received comments like "Enjoy it!" "It's like a vacation!" "You have a Pool!"  "You have a Workout Room!" "At least you don't have to clean", "Can you imagine how hard it would be if you had children?".  Even my Psych NP told me to enjoy it.  I can assure you that 33 days in a hotel room is not all it's cracked up to be.  I miss our bed.  I miss our comfortable furniture.  I miss our backyard.  I miss our hammock.  I miss our living space.  I miss letting the dog out and not having to go out in the rain with him in the parking lot. I miss the office where I could much more easily run my small business. I could go on and on.  Hotel living wears on a person.  I was even talking to a guy who used to travel a lot for work and he says it wears you down.  He even acknowledged that it's harder for women to not be living in their home.  Some people get it.  Some. Just. Don't.

1.  This is by far, not a vacation.
2.  We don't have a restoration start date.
3.  We have our room reserved here until Sept 7th.
4.  If we are here till Sept 7th (possibly longer), we will have been at this hotel for 79/80 days - Yes. That's our whole Summer.

Those are the facts.  This is our reality.  We have discussed what God has been Teaching us.  Although, I know I have many things to learn thru this situation, I know that if we know someone in a similar situation in the future, we will open up our home to them.  We will support them.  We will let them know we are sorry for what they are going thru.  We will let them know we are thinking of and praying for them. We will send cards.  We will do what we can to help them financially.

Right Now I think God wants me to Abide in Him and Rest in Him. It's out of my control as to when we will get to move back home.  I'm sure I'll be feeling better after my time of the month comes and goes.  It will also help me when Scott is home from the Hospital.  I am setting up an appointment to go see my Counselor, however he doesn't have any openings available till the week of the 6th.  I know I am experiencing some situational depression.  That is to be expected.

Now you know the facts and the feelings.

Now it's time for me to list things I'm grateful for (in no particular order):

1.  My Husband (where would we be in this world without each other, in a world where we both feel so alone?)

2.  Our Dog Mookie (He makes us laugh every day!  He's been such a trooper thru all of this!)

3.  We have the nicest hotel, with the nicest staff.  If we can't be at home, and have to live in a hotel, I'm glad it's this one.

4.  I'm Thankful my BIL had a successful albeit 11 hour Surgery.

5.  I'm Thankful for Friends near and far.

6.  I'm Thankful Jonathan has a job that supports us.

7.  I'm Thankful we got to go camping for our Anniversary with Small Group Friends.

8.  I'm Thankful for our Small Group.

9,  I'm Thankful for my Women's Group at Church.  I know they are praying for me and for us.

10.  I'm Thankful that God loves me even at my lowest, and even when my broken brain tells me lies.

11.  I'm Thankful that Heaven is my Final Home.

12.  I'm Thankful we have Insurance.  We could not afford to stay at this hotel for this long.

See, I can be Thankful, but I still want to go home.  In time, that will happen, just on God's timetable, and not mine.  Until then, I will continue to be a light to those I meet here at the Residence Inn by Marriott.

Post-Op Challenges - Please Keep Praying for my BIL!

Day 3 post-op

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 11 minutes ago

I just realized that I haven’t updated since Saturday during the day. Everything becomes a blur when you’re in a hospital room day in and day out. 

Rewind back to Saturday night, around 10 PM. Scott spiked a fever of 102. They ordered a chest X-ray, blood cultures, and an EKG. The blood cultures came back negative for now, and hopefully nothing shows up on them later. His EKG was fine, but the chest X-ray showed a slight issue with his lungs. I’m not even going to try to explain it, because I’ll probably say something wrong. Long story short, he needs to start using his spirometer more for breathing exercises, in order to prevent pneumonia from setting in. That is the big concern. His lungs need to expand and contract with deep breathing. 

Dr. Mogal (his surgeon) came in this morning to talk to Scott. He said that the NG tube will have to stay in for at least 2 more days. It’s too risky to remove it until the bowels are fully awakened. If it’s taken out too soon, it will cause a lot of vomiting.

He is being given Tylenol around the clock to keep the fevers down. Thankfully, it is working. He can tell when he is due for it, because his fever starts rising again.

Scott took 2 walks in the hallway yesterday, which was VERY difficult for him, but he did it anyways. He uses a walker and goes very slowly. I’m so proud of him, because this is such a huge task for him. He just took a walk in the hallway today and did very well. It tires him out quite a bit and then he sleeps for a while.

He has begun to swell up pretty significantly in his arms and hands. His hands are numb, which is irritating. 

I’m writing this in shifts, between helping Scott, figuring out kid’s schedules, replying to texts, etc. Right after I wrote about the NG tube, we realized just how important it REALLY is for him right now. 

After I got him washed up and moved him to the chair in his room, his NG tubing didn’t get hooked back up correctly by one of the nursing assistants. He was starting to have difficulty breathing, due to all of the mucus. We realized just how important the NG tube is and how necessary it is for him to keep it in. He is getting used to it, which is a blessing!

Dr. Mogal noticed the swelling of the arms and asked for a test to be done to check for blood clots. I’m praying that this is not the case. He didn’t seem overly concerned, but they don’t want to skip a beat with anything that might cause a problem in the future. I love how the nursing staff is on top of things and helping him recover to the best of their ability.

Results from the blood draw this morning showed he had an elevated creatinine count, which shows how the kidneys are functioning. They are keeping an eye on that as well.

His potassium has been low, and they have been giving it to him in his IV. It burns his arm, like it’s being held in a fire. I can’t believe how painful it was for him. In NY, he just got horse pills for it. His pain tolerance is over the roof, so to see him in moaning pain means it’s REALLY bad!

Please keep the prayers coming! We could really use them right now! 

Much love from Froedtert 8NT!

Update: Wow. Just. Wow. Many Prayers Still Needed!

I can't imagine all of the emotions my Sister is going thru right now, and the physical pain that Scott is in.  Please continue to pray for Scott, Debbie, and Their 4 Children! :-)

Day one post surgery

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 13 minutes ago

I think that I was unclear with my last Caring Bridge post. When I posted last, Scott still had about 4 hours left for his surgery. 

When I left last night to run home and see Myles and Hannah, before Scott got out of recovery, the key wouldn’t turn in the ignition of Scott’s Honda. Lexi is on her mission trip, coming home this evening, and Tyler was at a birthday party sleepover. I wanted to see them quickly and reassure them that everything was ok. I went up to the familiar floor that he is usually inpatient (7CFAC) to ask for a security guard to come help me. The security guard went back to the parking garage with me and couldn’t get the key to turn either. He said he was sorry. I sat back down in the car, feeling helpless.

The reason I’m telling you this story is because of the outcome. That is coming...  It may seem like a small hurdle, but after 2 hours of sleep the night before your husband’s 11 hour surgery, and desperately wanting to hug your sad 8 year old, it about set me off.

I sat in the driver’s seat and said a quick prayer, “Dear Lord, please help me start this car so that I can get home to see the kids and get back to Scott quickly.” I closed my eyes and tried once more. The key turned and it started. I praised God and was so thankful for answered prayers! 

The point I am getting at is that there is nothing too big or small that we can’t request of our Father in Heaven. He has answered so many small prayers for me lately, and yesterday, he answered a HUGE  prayer! He brought Scott out of a successful surgery with no complications whatsoever. How Great is our God??? I can’t even put it into words. I’m speechless, and that doesn’t happen often.

The total surgery itself ended up being just shy of 11 hours! The team of Dr.’s came in this morning and went over the surgery and how well everything went! They were pleased with the fact that there wasn’t more unknown cancer found, which is always a possibility. His vitals remained stable for the entire surgery, which is such a blessing!

Last night and today so far have been a little rough for Scott. I am thankful when he is sleeping, because the pain and irritation of the NG tube is enough to make him go completely crazy. The nurses and everyone taking care of him are doing everything in their power to help him be comfortable. The NG tube can’t be removed until his bowels wake up from surgery. That could be another day- 3 days. I’m praying hard for tomorrow! 

As hard as it was to see him struggle, I’m happy to say that this Champion Cancer fighter got up and walked to the chair with a walker and the help of a nurse and PT. He sat in the chair and mostly slept for about 45 minutes. He’s back in the bed and completely worn out!

Scott has a long road to recovery ahead of him! We pray that he can go home in 10 days if it is God’s will. The surgeon said his full recovery will be right around 3 months. I pray that he is blessed with a full recovery and that no complications arise along the way. 

Psalm 30:12
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Scott's Surgery Should Be Done By Now. Here are the Details From my Sister..

Dr. Mogal just came in

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 1 hour ago

We just heard such overwhelmingly good news! Dr. Mogal told us that the surgery went extremely well. He stepped out to talk to us while the chemo (Cisplatin) is being swished around in Scott’s peritoneum for an hour.

After the hour of swishing, Dr. Mogal will go back in to sew the incision back up. He is hoping to be done by 6 or 6:30, which would make the surgery about 10 hours long. After being in recovery, he is hopeful that I will be able to see him around 8 PM.

Dr. Mogal was able to remove his entire sigmoid colon and stitch it back together to working order. He’s truly miraculous! He scraped off a part of tumor or scar tissue on the outside of Scott’s liver. He sent it in for a quick biopsy. It was not cancerous, so he left the rest of the liver alone in order to avoid any unnecessary harm. He said that the liver has remained stable for so long, so there really is no reason to mess with it anymore. His gallbladder was removed, and he was able to remove a lot of scar tissue in the peritoneum. He said that the tumor stuck to his sigmoid colon was equivalent to the size of a golf ball.

He is fairly confident that he will be avoiding a visit to ICU. He said that not much blood was lost and he does not need a blood transfusion. Again, by the grace of God, more prayers were answered!

After Dr. Mogal finished talking to us and had nothing but good news, I asked him if I could give him a hug. He accepted. This man is nothing short of amazing, just like our surgeon, Dr. LaQuaglia, in New York. These men have given us more time with Scott, and for that, I am forever grateful!

I know it’s not over yet, but I am feeling so much better with this great news.

Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

From Jen:  Thank You For Your Thoughts, Prayers and Words of Support and Encouragement!  The fight isn't over, but we are Thankful for a Successful Surgery!

Caring Bridge Update - Scott Was Admitted Tonight for Surgery Tomorrow

HIPEC no longer denied

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — 4 hours ago

We found out yesterday that the HIPEC (hot chemotherapy) portion of the surgery was being denied. The hospital talked to the insurance company one more time today, and by God’s Grace, it was accepted!

We were told yesterday that if it was accepted, we would be admitted today.  We will be heading to Froedtert in 2 hours. Scott will be receiving fluids all evening to prepare for the HIPEC portion, which can be very dehydrating to a person’s system.

I’m so thankful that my Mom came into town a day early (yesterday) to take care of the kids. We found out yesterday for the first time that we may be admitted today, opposed to 5AM tomorrow morning. It’s just 1 extra night in the hospital, thank goodness! 

Prayers are appreciated for Scott especially and for the surgeon and nurses who will be caring for him during this long surgery. God will be overseeing the whole surgery, so I have confidence in his promises.

The Latest Updates on Scott/Scan Results - From Debbie's Caring Bridge Updates

I'm posting the newest update 1st.  My Husband and I were in Oconomowoc, WI to Support the Heiman Family and participate in the 2nd Annual Race to Cure Sarcoma - Milwaukee.  I'm including some pics from that Special Day in this Post.  They are in between the latest update and the oldest update.  Please Pray as Scott's Surgery is this Friday and is expected to take 8 Hours.  Thank You! :-)

Update

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Jul 12, 2018

 When we got to our appointment yesterday, the scan had not been read from Monday. They told us it was stable, with a possible growth in millimeters. It did grow more than we thought, but we are thankful that it will be removed in one week. It is measuring at 3cm.

The scan itself self says that the mass is inseparable from the sigmoid colon, so part of his colon will definitely need to be removed during surgery. Extra prayers are appreciated!

This was the message that was sent to us on MyChart last night.


Scott and Deb,

Here are final CT results. The peritoneal mass is about .5cm larger than prior scan in April but there is no other sites of disease which is awesome! They are going to take that mass out anyway and it is right on the sigmoid so hopefully that will help your bowel obstruction episodes. Take care

My Sister Debbie and Her Husband Scott.

The Team Captains Got to Wear Tutus.

The 4 Heiman Children and a Boyfriend.

The Youngest Heiman Family Child.  He's Such a Ham! :-P

Encouragement

Journal entry by Debbie Heiman — Jul 11, 2018

 I’ll start by letting you all know that God is SO good!!! Scott’s scan was stable today! We were so happy to hear that news! 

With so much going on in our life right now, I turned to my devotional book for encouragement. I found a devotion on encouragement and this is what it said.

So many times in the past few weeks I had come home to hear a message of encouragement on my answering machine: “thinking of you”,  “I love you”. Day after day when hysteria and raw emotions were my constant companion‘s,  I found the incredible support and concern of friends every time I needed someone. 

 Encouragement has never filled a flat tire. Encouragement has never made a car payment, nor fixed a broken washing machine. But encouragement from another gives us the strength to do what we feel we cannot do, hold on when we feel we cannot hold on, and try what we might not dare to try. 

 Encouragement. Doesn’t sound like much, but it’s everything. Send some encouragement today. You’ll be part of someone’s memories for a long long time. 

This devotion rings true for me, especially at times like these. Lately, I’ve received texts, private messages on FB, or cards in the mail that remind me that I’m not alone. WE are never alone! I am thankful for people who take the time to reach out. It keeps me going when times get tough. I pray that everyone has people in their lives that help to encourage them in good times and in bad. I try to encourage others and pray that I can be a light to others in hard times.

Thank you to everyone who prays for us and thinks about us as surgery approaches. Next Friday, July 20th is the big day. The surgery is expected to take 8 hours or more. It will be a long day, since we arrive around 5AM to get started on surgery prep. 

An  anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. Proverbs 12:25 

 The Lord is good to those who hope in him, to the one who seeks him. Lamentations 3:25

 This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21 - 23